progress

Two signs of progress

| jamiefeinberg

Anyone else getting sick of “adulting”, aka going through the world bearing some of the boring responsibilities of being a human (at least in our current society) when fascists are taking over and cultures and families and people are being destroyed? 

I feel this way a lot, but in addition to pausing to get present and taking time for joy where I can as means to combat inertia/anxiety/despair, I am also trying to stop and celebrate signs of progress when I see them. 

A solo raven perches on top of a birch tree branch (photo by Jamie Feinberg)

One sign of progress, of course, was that more than 7 million (some sources suspect it was closer to 8 million) people turned out, entirely peacefully, for the No Kings rallies across the United States and even in some cities around the world. Scholars much more qualified than me rightly shared criticisms of the effort (which wasn’t really a “protest”, and didn’t have clearly articulated goals and next steps in place, amongst other things), but I think it’s reasonable to rejoice at the show of solidarity and optics of having an event like that – especially after so many right-wing extremists were warning about the “violent” people who’d be participating. While there were a few violent people who tried to dampen the mood, those who turned out to say no to kings did so peacefully. 

If you made it out for No Kings, thank you, and I hope you found it encouraging, made some new friends, and were inspired to take some additional steps to protest the rights and freedoms of your fellow Americans and humans of all sorts. 

Another sign of progress is at a more local level. In Boston, Massachusetts, Fenway Health works to provide affordable and accessible health care, and in a stunning move becoming too common across the US, they recently announced they’d stop offering healthcare for trans youth – in an effort, they said, to protect their ability to serve other people due to the changing regulations. 

Photo of the ocean through the trees with changing leaves by Jamie Feinberg

From Fenway Health’s website: “The Trans Health Program at Fenway Health supports members of trans and gender diverse communities, their families, and the providers who serve them. We provide patient-centered, evidence-based care to ensure trans and gender diverse people are informed and affirmed in their gender and healthcare needs.”

What infuriates me to no end is when healthcare providers like Fenway don’t acknowledge that offering trans healthcare for youth is actually the safest, least invasive way to provide trans healthcare, because youth who know they are trans are saved having to complete puberty and thus require more invasive care down the line (often with less success) when we provide them with the care they need at a younger age. Not to mention the rates of suicide and murder for trans people….I could keep going, but here’s the good news!

Boston and those from around the region who rely on Fenway have decided they aren’t going to take no for an answer. Hundreds have taken to the picket lines, and reportedly some people who’ve come to Fenway for their care (like flu shots) have instead joined the picket line! 

Erin in the Morning reported the following: 

“We are calling on Fenway to find brave and creative solutions to maintain funding while following their mission to provide the same rights to every patient,” said Teddy Walker, a 20-year-old Boston student, reading from a statement penned alongside 21-year-old Berry Andres, their co-organizer for Monday’s action. Both are Fenway patients who started hormone therapy as teens—the very care and demographic being cut off now. So they know intimately how vital this life-saving care is for trans young people.

“This failure of courage does not have to be permanent,” Walker told Erin in the Morning. “We can still be allies in this historic fight together, because we know Fenway Health is not our enemy. The Trump Administration is. But that does not mean we will stand idly by as Fenway does Trump’s work for him by stripping patients of their care.”

Have you seen a sign of progress this past week? I’d love to hear about it. And as always, if you need support in navigating these and other challenges, I’d love to speak with you. Let’s start with a saboteur assessment. 

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Take good care, friends. 

take one step

| jamiefeinberg

Friends, I’ve gotten to experience so much joy, so many awesome things, in the past week. And yet my brain and my body are tired. Day after day, in spite of having a good night’s sleep and waking up before my alarm (I know, boo-hoo, how tough is my life?), I’ve woken up feeling like I’m not rested enough and I’d like to just stay in bed. 

Could this be depression? Sure. I’ve had some challenges with it in the past, though it’s been a very long time since that was a major struggle for me. But regardless of any mental games my brain might want to play, my physical body is also bearing the side effects of it all. And while it’s 100% valid to seek medical treatment when you’re feeling more tired than usual, I know that right now, for me, I’m feeling like this is just where I am right now – a medication or a chat with a therapist unfortunately can’t change the systemic issues in our world right now. 

Photo of fall foliage on either side of a paved path by Jamie Feinberg

The world is a lot. I can have an absolutely beautiful day, I can make progress toward my goals, I can spend time with people I love, and I can still find my mind and my body returning to stressful thoughts and situations. 

So for this week, my answer to that is to take one step. 

When it feels daunting to get out of bed and do all the things ahead of me, I tell myself to start with just getting up and feeding the cat. I am open to the possibility that if I’m still exhausted by the time that is done, I can allow myself to get back into bed. 19 times out of 20, after I feed the cat, I will commit to getting dressed, knowing I can take a nap later if I’m still tired. One step at a time. I take one step. 

This can work with bigger projects and goals too. When the project feels daunting, I can make it easier by breaking it down into small steps. And if having the executive functioning skills required to chop a project into more manageable pieces isn’t happening right now, that’s okay. What’s one small, but meaningful, step that I can accomplish today in the direction of my goal? Let’s commit to doing that now. 

I had a beautiful weekend, from leading an ‘80s singalong to teaching voice lessons and music theory, to spending time with friends and phone calls with family. And I had two gorgeous walks in nature. 

I know I am incredibly blessed, and I pause to be present to that multiple times each day. 

And I am tired. 

And I’m aware that the fight may be just beginning. 

So acknowledge what you’re feeling. You may need to do more self-care than you’re used to right now. You may need to lighten up your commitments. And you may need to offer yourself a bit more patience and grace right now. 

What’s one step you can commit to, when all you want to do is procrastinate or zone out? Let’s do that one thing. And if doing it still feels rough, get a coach, call a friend, or ask a higher power or the universe for support. And above all, keep breathing. Observe the inhale of your breath, and the exhale. Stay present to the here and now. Let the rest be set aside for a moment. 

Take good care, friends. 

I have a lot of tools to face the challenges of life. If you’d like to learn some with me, let’s start with a saboteur assessment. 

Work with me

My favorite Enneagram resources

More signs of progress

| jamiefeinberg

Take a moment and breathe with me, will you? 

Feel yourself wherever you are. Whether you’re standing, sitting, lying down, feel yourself on the surface you’re on. Touch an object (maybe try this device?) and observe the temperature and texture of it. Notice fine details you haven’t noticed before. 

We are still here, friend. Let’s celebrate the little wins. You made it to today. 

Photo of a monarch butterfly on a branch by Erik Karits

As much as there continues to be more horrendous news, I am seeing signs of progress regularly this week in the fight toward defending human rights and preventing more atrocities. Read on for more of the progress I am seeing ( in the United States, predominantly), if that interests you. And if not; go find some joy, and keep breathing! You’ve got this. 

More signs of progress: 

The unelected billionaire seems to be displeasing the Rump – or at least, seems to be leaving the prominent position he’s in. While I don’t trust any of that being simply face value, I am happy for signs of tension in that relationship. Cautiously optimistic, I’d say. 

A great win in the courts in Montana this week for transgender and intersex (and any gender-noncomforming folks who might also be persecuted) folks in Montana. Their extreme bathroom bill was struck down! 

Wisconsin’s election was NOT bought by Elon. His $25 Million could have gone so far, but instead he threw it at a candidate who was resoundingly defeated. 

And while Florida’s election for two house seats was still easily won by Republicans, it was a MUCH lower margin than in November. Progress. 

I’m also hearing more and more horror stories making headlines about visas being revoked. So while it’s disgusting that students and professionals alike are being deported or told to self-deport due to having an opinion the government doesn’t like, I’m heartened by how much people are talking about it and making noise about it to their reps. 

And of course, I have to shout out Cory Booker, who spoke on the floor for more than 25 hours to make “good trouble” and make sure we know and understand that this administration is NOT normal and it’s NOT okay. 

As I walked outside today before writing this, I enjoyed a gorgeous blue sky. I’ve recently booked another speaking gig and gotten myself a new part-time job I am thrilled about in addition to the beautiful mental fitness, coaching and Enneagram work I am privileged to share with the world. 

I hope that whatever your own situation is, you’re finding signs of progress too. And if you have one, please consider sharing it with me! 

Take care, and keep fighting the good fight. And remember, rest is resistance. Find joy. Be love. One step, and one day, at a time. 

Curious about working with me? Want to learn more about what’s keeping you stressed or stuck? Book a saboteur assessment here, or learn more about the Enneagram here.

Sharing signs of progress

| jamiefeinberg

Gosh, it’s been a month of a week, and I have had a few days in particular where it’s been a struggle to keep myself grounded. On one of those days, I was working on some never fun bureaucracy type stuff, and it was triggering panic in my body, in spite of all the mindfulness work I was doing to work through it. I felt alarmed and had a day of important things to do, and as Ross tried to help me as we prepared for an important meeting, I realized if I didn’t get myself under control, I was bound to trigger him and likely have a rage episode.

So what does progress look like? In this case, progress was telling Ross I was going upstairs because I couldn’t get myself under control. There, I ran in place for two minutes to wear myself out. And then I just let my body settle down. As I prepared myself some lunch, I realized it had truly worked, and my body was grounded again. And thank goodness, because when a couple of hours later, I managed to spill water all over the kitchen floor washing dishes, I just laughed for a couple of seconds, grabbed a couple of towels, and cleaned it up. And when those kitchen towels weren’t enough, I headed downstairs for a bath towel, laughingly summarizing for Ross what I’d done in passing as he said he was sorry I had a hard time from the next room.

End of drama. I cleaned up in the kitchen.

Photo by Yana Kangal: https://www.pexels.com/photo/red-poppy-flowers-17868679/

Friends, in the past, this would have had me raging and upsetting my husband, perhaps getting in the way of his ability to show up for our meeting. It would have resulted in me beating other people up and then beating myself up for hours, thanks to the judge in my head.

Instead? It was just a day, friends.

This is what can happen when we take those small, daily steps to instill better habits. I’ve got a mindfulness habit. I do group work using mental fitness and the Enneagram throughout the month. And I’ve cultivated healthy communication and listening with my husband.

There are signs of progress outside of my own life too. I’m especially inspired seeing the media coverage of some of the things ICE is doing (like detaining and basically torturing lawful permanent residents of the United States, citizens of Canada who never violated laws, and many more stories of what those profiled in the media have seen). Knowing that judges are saying no (even if the administration is trying to pretend that doesn’t matter) and that some of the anti-trans laws and actions are being struck down is promising.

Spring is my favorite season, because it is such a sign of progress. We get to see bits and bobs of life springing up from nothing. It’s so exciting and beautiful and encouraging after a long winter.

Wherever you are, whatever you’re facing this week, I hope you can see glimmers of hope. Bits of progress in your own life and in the world.

Want help getting some clarity on what’s going on? You know how to reach me.

Take good care. Keep up the good fight.

Leading With Kindness Is Hard

| jamiefeinberg

This week, I’m finding myself less patient than ever navigating social media. In particular, it’s politics and feeling like our country is dissolving into chaos and we may not have fair elections this fall.

I’m finding myself unable to resist standing up to people who don’t acknowledge the ways that human rights aren’t being protected.

And as a result, I’m being made to feel like a bad person.

If you’re feeling the same, I’m sorry. And if you’re somewhere else on the political spectrum, that’s 100% fine – but please, whatever you do, don’t name-call, don’t insult, and don’t lump people like me all together. Have a 1 on 1 conversation with a friend. That’s how we learn to understand each other, find ways to get along and make change.

Lead with kindness. And don’t give up on it if your friend doesn’t come around to your point of view. Agree to disagree. And stay kind. Stay loving.

Sending a hug out to all of you this week. Take care, friends.

______________________________

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