An object in motion

| jamiefeinberg

Do you ever feel stuck? Whether it’s because of illness or depression or (gestures at the state of the world), you’re not alone, friend. And one thing I am reminding myself of today is that while my rule is generally to do the most important thing on my list first, some days, I just need to do SOMETHING to get myself into a state of motion. 

So maybe the most important thing on your list is a phone call you’ve been putting off. Can you do a small, short, easy win or two first? Take out the garbage? Put away 1 item? 

Photo description: Dandelions in the grass in the foreground, pink, red, yellow and white tulips in the background

I know all of our brains think about these things differently. What works for you? 

Another trick for me can be turning on some upbeat music. I can get into a zone where doing more movement feels easy and natural. 

I’m still dealing with some health stuff, but it’s been all the more reason for me to fine-tune my processes and get clearer about what’s important. I’m grateful for my mental fitness work that encourages me that it’s always possible to find something positive that comes from a negative situation – if we dare to find it. 

I hope you’re taking care of yourself this week. You deserve that care, and sometimes, we have to do it ourselves. 
Seeking some support in your journey? Set aside a time with me to see how saboteurs are keeping you from finding more ease and joy in challenging times. Head here. 

Meditation with Squeak

| jamiefeinberg

Hi friend. I’ve been recovering from illness, and it’s kept me from keeping up with this practice. And I was tempted to skip it again. But instead, I recorded a short meditation for you – with the help of my cat, Squeak. It’s imperfect, but I’m not going to let that stop me today. There is so much that we can be doing right now to defend voting rights and try to save the United States from irreparable harm. But to do so, we need to regularly care for our own needs as well. 

So here’s one tool for that. 

If you find it useful, feel free to share with a friend. 

Take good care, and keep resisting. 
Seeking some support in your journey? Set aside a time with me to see how saboteurs are keeping you from finding more ease and joy in your life. Head here. 

Taking time to rest & some resources if you are too

| jamiefeinberg

Hi folks. After days of denial, where I did that so familiar debate of “is it allergies? Or is it a cold?” I have been forced to admit that it is, indeed, a cold.

Here’s hoping I can get over it shortly so I can enjoy my weekend. I hope you’re able to enjoy your time ahead as well.

Photo of a resting person on a bed by Kampus Production

While I rest, here are some past articles you might enjoy.

Take time to care for yourself, friends. The world is a lot, but there are so many signs of progress if we stop to find them.

Inviting You To Take a Pause

Overcoming the Voices in Your Mind

Pausing for Rest and Renewal (includes meditation)

Seeking some support in your journey? Set aside a time with me to see how saboteurs are keeping you from finding more ease and joy in your life. Head here.

Trying something new 

| jamiefeinberg

When we’re young, everything is new. We are experts at being beginners. We learn how to get the attention of our caregivers, and how to hold it (from crying to cooing). We learn how to eat and drink. We learn how to move through the world (for most of us, we might learn to crawl, and then to walk). We might learn things like swimming or coloring, trying new foods or playing a sport. We might learn to play an instrument or dance, to hike a mountain or tie our shoe. We might learn to multiply, or learn to read, or even learn to juggle! 

The point is that when we are kids, being a beginner is normal. Failure is normal. And while we might get frustrated, most of us didn’t get TOO frustrated – because it was much more of the norm for us to feel this way. You might have gotten envious of the bigger kids riding a bike, but if you were given a bike and you took to it, it wasn’t long before you wanted the big kid bike or wanted to get the training wheels off and started putting the work in to get there. 

We’ve got so much going on in our backyards, our country, and around the world right now. I hope you’re continuing to make time to evaluate your role and play your part in standing up for goodness and justice in the world. I hope you’re supporting your neighbors and being proactive in doing so.

But you know what else I hope? I hope that you can take a moment to recognize yourself for when you try new things. Maybe you’re uncomfortable because you know you “have to” call your representatives, but phone calls are hard for you. Maybe you’re facing a chronic illness or housing situation or job or career change that is forcing you to learn new things. And maybe you’re not always doing a great job at it. 

And yes, maybe it’s the realization that you don’t have well-honed mental fitness skills yet. Maybe it’s admitting when you need help. Maybe it’s practicing things like boundary-setting and meditation. Even if you feel like the world’s most awkward human when you do so. 

Brown wooden letter tiles spell WHY NOT TRY by Brett Jordan

This week, I tried a new treatment for a health challenge, and I was really nervous about it. I wasn’t sure what to expect, even though I’d done some research. And like many adults, I don’t feel as well-practiced at trying new things as I did when I was a kid. 

But I am proud of myself, because I made the phone call, did the thing, and you know what? It worked! It’s a short-term treatment, but for today, I can see the improvement, and I am so grateful for that. 

Have you tried something new lately? Is anything on your list to try? And if so, what’s one small step that you could take today to help you to realize that goal? 
If you would like some support in developing some new mental fitness skills, I’ve got you. What a great new thing to try! I invite you to set aside a time with me to see how saboteurs are keeping you from finding more ease and joy in your life. Head here. 

Inviting you to take a pause

| jamiefeinberg

I’m so glad you’re here. I’m so glad you’re taking a moment to pause and put the worries of the world on hold for a moment. 

Photo: My cat, Squeak, takes a pause in a cardboard box on our kitchen floor. 

Yes, we all need to keep doing things to stand up for our neighbors and advocate for what matters to us and be better humans. 

But we also need to practice rest, and renewal, and reflection, and self-care. 

This week I am so privileged and blessed to have a weekend set aside for my own education and renewal. And to share a bit of that spirit with you, I’ve created a meditation for you today. You’ll find it here. I hope you can find a time today to pause and focus on the here and now. Keep resisting – but also resist the temptation to do so much that you remain depleted. 

Take good care. And if this is useful, don’t miss a future one. 

And consider passing it along to a friend who could benefit this week. 

If you find this beneficial and would like some support in developing additional mental fitness skills, I’ve got you. I invite you to set aside a time with me to see how saboteurs are keeping you from being both efficient in what you do and happier than you realized was possible. Head here.  

Cultivating Curiosity

| jamiefeinberg

After months (and in one participant’s case, years) of anticipation, we’ve got our next Enneagram cohort in place, and on Thursday evening, I had the joy of facilitating our first session. 

I love having the opportunity to bring women (and folks of all genders) together as we each move along the path toward personal growth. We identify and shed layers of habits that no longer serve us. We get clarity on who we are and who we can be, and we support each other as we all follow our own unique path and needs in becoming. 

When I get frustrated, angry, scared about what the world might have in store and of course about what is literally happening right now, my mental fitness training and my Enneagram training offer my opportunities. 

I know from my work that there can be a gift found in any situation, if we choose to do so. And that while fear is hardwired in us, so is love. And love can do so much. 

When I act from love, one of the options available to me is to become curious. And as I have mentioned before, curiosity is truly a gift of our wise mind. 

When I regularly practice cultivating presence, it also helps me to cultivate curiosity. The more present I am, the more likely that I can find curiosity in any situation that calls for. 

Photo of a curious child with a magnifying glass and a plant by Anna Shvets

Perhaps someone’s behavior is puzzling you, or offending you, or hurting you. Perhaps you want to know why they’re doing it. 

I might choose to hone my curiosity where it leads. 

What if we bring curiosity to the things we don’t understand? 

  • The family member who upset you
  • The car who cut you off
  • The friend who no longer speaks to you
  • The co-worker whose words hurt you 

Can you do some work to ground yourself, and then ask yourself to get curious about why it might have happened? 

Curiosity doesn’t mean you have to find the right answer. But in the process of asking questions, of getting curious, we can often find comfort in finding possible explanations – even without certainty. 

What are you curious about? How do you cultivate curiosity? And where in your life would you like to cultivate more curiosity? 
Cultivating curiosity is an important tool in my toolbox, and I help my clients to do so as well. If you’re curious to learn some mental fitness skills and see how saboteurs are keeping you from living a life you love, head here. 

Planting seeds

| jamiefeinberg

It’s spring, friends. Even if it looks like winter or mud season or something else entirely where you are (summer?). It’s spring here. And spring is always a beautiful opportunity for a reset, a new perspective, and a fresh start. 

Photo: A glimpse of Sarah Maloney’s artwork. In the foreground is a piece of furniture (divan) with what look like metal plants growing up from it. Behind it are quilted panels with flowers embroidered on top of them. 

I’ve been thinking about the way I plant seeds in my life. I imagine you could make your own list. Maybe you have a garden, and you plant literal seeds! Amazing. Goodness knows that as the price of gas and food continues to rise or fluctuate, and the world keeps changing, growing your own food is an incredible way to give yourself some additional security and offer you something to share with your friends and neighbors as well as your family. Plus it’s fun (for some people), and good for your mental health, and it’s physical activity too!

Much of the work I do as a vocal instructor and barbershop director involves planting seeds. We can’t make dramatic changes overnight most of the time. So I drop bits of education, I cultivate the soil, so to speak, laying down roots so that we can build a variety of skills that will ultimately culminate in beautiful performances and more polished and confident singers. 

Planting seeds can also be a way to think about marketing! Trust me, I’ve learned from personal experience that you can’t just announce a program one time and expect that people will sign up for it. It takes a variety of methods to get the word out effectively, and if I want a program to come together or for a bunch of new mental fitness or coaching clients to find me, it’s essential that I keep planting seeds by sharing new content and posts that reinforce the opportunities and help my potential clients see the benefit for themselves in participating. 

I’ve also noticed that often, I do some workshopping, so to speak, of an idea that I have out loud with several people before I do it. This could be seen as a type of seed planting too – although perhaps it’s planting the seeds in my own mind and body! If I talk about it a few times, and if it feels good in my body and my voice, and maybe if the reaction I get to it is supportive, maybe it’s time to go for it. (I am also aware that this type of workshopping is NOT something everyone does. I think it’s part of my personality as an Enneagram 1 (we’re verbal processors). How about you?) 

I think we’re always planting seeds in our own lives. When we start learning a new skill, trying out a new hobby, a new attitude or way of thinking, we don’t reap all the benefits all at once. It takes time. The reason I try to practice voice every day is that if we only do it once or twice a week, we can’t make much progress. It’s hard to rewrite habits with that kind of a schedule. But if we do exercises and push ourselves a little bit each day, it’s easier to integrate new habits and to see the benefits. 

If you’d like to plant some seeds for change and growth in your own life, joining an Enneagram group or completing a Saboteur Assessment can be a wonderful next step. 

Does this concept resonate for you right now? 

Curious about why you do what you do? 

| jamiefeinberg

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been immensely curious about why I am who I am, and why I do what I do, for as long as I can remember. Certainly for the majority of my adulthood anyway. 

  • Why do I naturally excel at some things rather than others? 
  • Why are some tasks that seem so easy for me seem so difficult for many other people? 
  • Why do I struggle to complete things, when some people around me seem to complete everything they start, no questions asked? 
  • Why does my sense of what’s right and wrong seem so different from other people’s sometimes?
  • Why do I repeat the same patterns so often, even when I recognize that they aren’t serving me? 

And this curiosity extends to other people as well as to my own self. 

  • Why do THEY make ______ look easy? 
  • Why do people do things that seem cruel or unkind from my perspective? 
  • Why do THEY do _____ when I would never do that? 
  • Why do people’s expectations of me sometimes seem impossible? Are we living in different worlds? 
  • Why is so and so always so direct? Why are some people so passive-aggressive? 

These are the types of questions that I may ponder from day to day or week to week. And they are the kinds of questions that the Enneagram has given me a vehicle for. 

When I learn to recognize my own personality type, I also learn to recognize that there are other people like me in the world – but that’s only a minority of them. Most people in the world are actually a different personality type than me. And it’s not that they’re bad people. They just have a different lens and a different way of seeing the world. 

I’m so excited this week because after much planning and coordination, my next Enneagram group is getting started in April! We’ll be meeting weekly on Tuesday or Thursday evenings (Atlantic time – seems like this will be a PEI group though we are over Zoom), and we’ll study Suzanne Stabile’s amazing Enneagram Journey curriculum together. 

[Since we’re about to begin a journey, here’s a photo from a recent journey by car with a striking sunset. I took it through the windshield.]

In this program, you’ll not only learn your Enneagram number, with certainty, understanding, and compassion for what that means. You’ll also study the growth path specific to your number, offering you ways that you can begin to unwind and change the habits in your life that are no longer serving you. 

So far, our group is full of some lovely women, from working folks in our 40’s to retired. And if you’re seeking your own community for self-improvement and personal growth, this is the last week to join us. Head here and reach out to me if you want to join the fun. It’s a three month program, and we’d love to hear from you.

Choosing love

| jamiefeinberg

Some wise people have said over the years that everything is either fear-based or based in love. In my mental fitness work, my coach has told us the same thing, reminding us that the wise part of our brain makes decisions out of love, while the saboteurs, the negative voices in our head, would have us make decisions out of fear. 

As children, these saboteurs told us to do things out of fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of death. And over time, we made that a habit. And those neural pathways are well-worn, with habits that are very hard to break. 

A silly, happy photo of me, wearing a purple coat with the red strap of a bag visible, sun and blue sky behind me, with a progress Pride button on my coat. 

So, what’s the alternative? What does choosing love look like? 

It might look like: 

  • Listening to what someone has to say instead of reacting first
  • Responding with empathy or vulnerability instead of walling ourselves off 
  • Exploring our options with a playful energy and a love for creativity or problem-solving instead of limiting ourselves out of a fear of lack and a longing for security
  • Getting ourselves outside or out in the world instead of letting our saboteurs dictate all the reasons for us to stay put or stay inside
  • Brainstorming with a goal of finding the win for ALL involved, rather than approaching each conflict as a potential win/lose or lose/lose scenario
  • Respecting boundaries, often of others, but especially of ourselves

Choosing love for me is often embracing curiosity. Embracing curiosity about why strangers might be doing things that I don’t expect or understand. Embracing curiosity about what would be possible, if I had no constraints or let go of my fears. Embracing curiosity about ways we can all find happiness, without taking it from anyone else. 

So as I call my reps and support my neighbors and scream at politicians, I also work to pause. To breathe. Breathe first, and then respond, instead of reacting without a moment to process and ponder. 

Where can you choose love? 

And if this feels daunting, I have two beautiful ways that I support my clients which also can help you to find compassion, for yourself, your environment, and for other people. 

My next group for people interested in learning more about the Enneagram begins in April. Join us on Tuesdays and Thursday evenings (Eastern/Atlantic time). Learn more here and contact me, and invite a friend too. 

And I’d love to support you in building your own toolbox to do this work. If you’d like to join me for an opportunity to learn some mental fitness skills and see how saboteurs are keeping you from living a life you love, head here.  

Thanks for being here, and thanks for keeping at it, even when it’s hard or even feels impossible. You’re not alone.