Time for Reflection

This is the time of year when I take time to reflect.

Where was I at this time last year, and how much progress did I make?

What moved the needle for me?

Am I satisfied with my progress?

Am I proud of what I did, in spite of all of the challenges and pressures?

Ultimately, this reflection needs to be in balance. Shaming ourselves for what we didn’t accomplish or beating ourselves up isn’t the answer.

Likewise, brushing past our shortcomings and forgetting the ways we let ourselves down entirely risks us repeating mistakes again.

There is a gift in everything that happens to us, if we choose to see it. There is a gift in every choice we made, whatever the outcome, if we are lucky enough to make it through.

The key, though, is deciding there’s a gift, and then finding what it is.

And showing ourselves, and those around us, empathy is an essential part of the process.

I do this reflection work in several ways; on my own, in my mastermind, with close friends, and sometimes with a coach, like I did yesterday.

I will do similar work as I set goals and plan how I will hold myself accountable and set up great habits in 2023.

Today I celebrate me:

  • I am a childfree coach supporting women and all who are ready to create a life they love
  • I have made incredible strides in my mental fitness
  • I have made professional gains in the arts and in my writing (and a bit in my speaking career too)
  • I have gained a lot of clarity in my business
  • I have shown love, and compassion, and supported many dozens of people this year, not least of all my family
  • I’ve helped my clients improve their lives and find more joy and success
  • I’ve started three new group programs
  • I have had so much fun
  • I have made new friends, strengthened existing friendships, and further contributed to and built community around me

I wish you joy and peace in this holiday season, whatever you celebrate (or don’t).

P.S. I do have at least one more spot in my mental fitness program for January. If you’d like an affordable route to accountability, peace, success, and even community, you can grab a spot on my calendar to learn more. Please book ASAP as I am taking some time off for the holidays and the group program starts the second week of January. Feel free to email rossandjamieadventure @ gmail.com if you don’t see a time that works for you.

P.P.S. What is the one thing you are celebrating yourself for as we close out 2022?

Anxiety: a path forward

Woman in shades of pink walks forward into a canopy of trees

I keep changing and changing and changing this title, but in truth, I know exactly what I’m going to say. The conundrum, of course, is that while I have learned that anxiety, even lifelong, chronic anxiety struggles, can get better, I also don’t want to be one of those people promising you snake oil or making you feel invisible if your anxiety proves to be way more stubborn than my own challenges have been.

So, with that caveat, here’s an update on where I’m at, how I did it, and what I can suggest for other people who are struggling too.

The Recap

Last October, I started having panic attacks. Debilitating ones, that were really getting in the way of my work and my life. While I had experienced perhaps a half dozen panic attacks while living in an RV and traveling the US, I was otherwise completely new to them. And when I’d had them, they hadn’t gotten in the way of my work or my life – I knew what triggered them, and within a few hours, I’d been able to move on from them.

But last fall was different. My husband was really worried. I was really worried too; as the current primary breadwinner in our relationship, and with a husband who was a full-time student, what if I couldn’t pay our bills? So I was having panic attacks and I was spiraling further, getting anxious about having anxiety, which I’ve since read is a sign of an anxiety disorder rather than simply anxiety (which everyone has on some level, and which is 100% normal, to my totally not clinical but still very educated on anxiety understanding).

On one particularly bad day, after a series of particularly bad days, I wanted to go to the mental health clinic. But, of course, I was anxious to go. I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t quite believe they’d let me in, especially because I hadn’t received my health card yet (which is your ticket to free health care as a Canadian resident).

My loving husband took me. He sat with me patiently in the car, and he came inside with me too. And the therapist I saw was so affirming, so understanding, and so encouraging as she got me on the list for free province-provided therapy. She even believed me and took notes when I told her I’d recently realized the ample supplies of nightshade vegetables I’d been filling my diet with were apparently a huge anxiety trigger (tomatoes, peppers, potatoes, and eggplant were filling my diet during this harvest season), based on my own Googled research.

This began more than six months of challenges as I waited, and waited, and waited to get that free therapy. Backing off the nightshade vegetables helped make the panic attacks less frequent (think 1-2 per week rather than daily), and I finally signed up online with my first therapist since college. She went from being okay for a few months, helping me to treat the anxiety, to being completely awful, around the same time I was seeing a very mediocre (at least for me) free therapist (finally) provided by the province.

Things Began Shifting

By the spring, a few things began shifting in my life:

  • I wrapped a contract with a client that had been having a negative effect on my mental health for a very long time, giving me space to begin healing from what I later realized was pretty intense burnout
  • The work I’d been doing on myself using the Enneagram was paying off, and I was seeing the benefits in my relationship with Ross, with my family and friends, and most importantly in my relationship with myself too
  • I found a new therapist who was NIGHT AND DAY from my previous experiences; she’s still supporting me, and I am grateful every day that I didn’t give up on finding the right person for me
  • The time I’d invested in finding community on PEI was bearing fruit; I had local friends and was doing meaningful work, collaborating in multiple music ensembles and enjoying the opportunity to lead one of them
  • I created an Enneagram group and had a really successful pilot program (my first group coaching program over several months)
  • I discovered the Positive Intelligence framework and became a major advocate for the benefits of mental fitness (and subsequently, I became a mental fitness trainer and incorporated the work into my coaching business)
  • I finally stepped outside of my comfort zone into an Anti-Anxiety program offered free to Islanders (called I CAN) and completed it successfully

According to my anxiety coach, my last panic attack was in late August. I know it was a combination of the techniques I had internalized by this point (learned in both I CAN and in my mental fitness studies) as well as some of the deeper personal development I had done. Having my therapist to cheer me on was especially helpful on the days I needed someone to vent to – whether you work with a therapist as well (always ideal) or just find a friend or hire a coach or accountability partner, that safe space was key.

I’ve now realized that I’ve been battling anxiety my entire life, or at least as far back as middle school. I also realize that if I had known then what I know now about mental fitness, I wouldn’t have needed to have the stress and overwhelm in my life. And I would have made healthier choices from a sage place rather than acting out of fear or to numb or distract myself.

What I Recommend

My own personal journey to get control of my anxiety was more long-winded than it needed to be, but there were also a lot of factors at stake. If I hadn’t been overwhelmed in my work, things might have played out differently, perhaps on a faster timetable. If I wasn’t so sensitive to nightshades, the panic attacks may have been less debilitating. But what I now realize is that the gift of my panic and anxiety struggles over the past year or more is that I now have direct experience I can use when coaching my clients. I can relate to them in ways I never could have five years back. What a gift!

Also, for those of you with access to some kind of free anxiety program, or one that’s very affordable for you, do consider it, if you’ve got the bandwidth for it. While I wasn’t learning many new things in mine, the daily practice and accountability (just like I use with my clients) helped me to finally finish integrating all the things people had taught me over the years. I CAN is a great option for Islanders. Find out what, if anything, is available for you.

If you want to sleep well at night, if you want a life with less stress and overwhelm, if you want the tools to find joy and peace and curiosity again, I’d love to introduce you to the mental fitness training we can do together. I have a few spots open in a small group program that will be starting up this January. I’m also developing a new program specifically with musicians in mind, and I’m planning future groups for a) for childfree people b) for men and c) for retirees.

If you’re intrigued, the easiest way for me to tell you more is for us to hop on a call so I can give you a tour of the program and a bit of coaching and some training to incorporate when you’re feeling anxious or fearful or angry or judgmental. I include a few of my favorite mindfulness techniques that you can actually use anywhere, at any time. It’s a free call, and if it intrigues you, I’m offering my programs on a sliding scale to make them as accessible as possible as we begin 2023.

I have such gratitude to be a coach and to be doing this life-changing work. Please reach out to learn more, and if you think this might resonate with a friend or a family member, please encourage them to do the same.

Take care, and be well.

Three Steps for Times of Stress

In the past month, I’ve launched my first two mental fitness groups (using the researched-based, acclaimed Positive Intelligence program and app that I’ve been studying for more than six months), conducted a performance of “O Canada” for a Canadian citizenship ceremony, completed an anti-anxiety program, completed a three month Enneagram group, been interviewed on a podcast, performed professionally as a member of Luminos Ensemble, written most of a book, coached childfree women (and people who aren’t raising children) on ways to create a life they love, and done writing and editing for clients. I’ve also dealt with the Hurricane Fiona aftermath, attended to a variety of personal and professional tasks, and made some time for fun fall activities, including getting together with friends.

One of the brilliant things about my work in the mental fitness realm has been realizing that I turn less and less things into stress in my life now. I’ve realized that rather than let all of the things in my busy life feel like things I “must” do, AKA things that cause me stress and need to be dealt with, I can instead focus on curiosity, on navigating my to-dos with joy or at least without the extra emotional weight I had a tendency to add to them. 

My mantra, which I developed in my first Enneagram group and continue to find exceptionally helpful, is this: “Breathe. Prioritize. Do what’s mine to do.” 

This mantra won’t work for everyone. You may in fact be one of those people who don’t take on other people’s tasks. Or you may need a mantra that’s more about doing and less about stopping and prioritizing for you personally to find balance in your life. But if my mantra strikes a chord, read on.

If you’re feeling stressed, unsure how to juggle all the responsibilities, both spoken and unspoken, in your life, try my three steps on for size. 

  1. Breathe: Realizing your breathing is getting more shallow? Starting to feel overwhelmed or anxious? As soon as you recognize it, stop that thought train. Focus on your breath. In, and out. Again. Stop the “what-if” and the “must-do” and tune into your breathing. 
  2. Prioritize: Once you’re feeling a bit calmer, whether from breathing or doing other mindfulness exercises, NOW you’re in a healthy space. You’re now using the part of your brain that’s capable of navigating challenges and getting curious about what’s possible. So it’s time to prioritize. What’s the one thing that you could get done today that would make your week, or even your year? What are the deadlines that will really screw you up if you miss them? Who is more important, and what are they expecting of you? Prioritize. 
  3. Do what’s mine to do: Now, and only now, it’s time to return to doing. Since you’ve stopped the auto-pilot and tuned into what matters, you can now do what’s truly yours to do. Most things I think are mine to do are, it turns out, actually not. I make a whole lot of responsibilities up. Sometimes I think I need to do work for other people. So don’t blindly do: make sure you do what’s YOURS to do today. And always, or at least whenever you can remember to stop, consider what matters, and then move forward. 

Keep swimming, my friends. You are wonderful just as you are, truly, right now. And I believe in you.

P.S. If you want support in how to follow these steps, that’s what I’m here for. Let’s hop on a free call where you can learn more about mental fitness and how to handle life’s challenges with more efficiency and joy.

Hurricane Fiona

We’ve experienced hurricanes before. Living in New England, we’d catch the tail end of them occasionally, and in Florida, we experienced one in an RV, prepped with a go bag, near a bath house, and fearing we’d get COVID if we had to flee. (Luckily for us, it fizzled out by the time it was near us.)

Suffice to say, though, that when we moved to Prince Edward Island, Canada, we didn’t expect to encounter hurricanes.

I’ve been becoming more and more aware of my “prepper” tendencies. They increased significantly when COVID-19 came into focus in 2020, and finding the balance between prepared and hoarding can be trickier than you might think.

As we got wind a hurricane might come out way, a part of me felt it would be healthier to just use the food we had at home. And when my car started acting up, it meant I would have to shop on foot. But I am so glad I headed out Thursday for essentials, and Friday for a few more I couldn’t fit in the first trip.

Hurricane Fiona was no joke. We lost power Friday night, and as of this writing, I think our street is probably still days from it returning. And when 95% of the island lost power and nearly everyone it seems lost trees or gardens or suffered damage, gratitude isn’t hard to come by.

So I continue to offer gratitude. For a radio. For enough food. For access on foot to places to charge devices. For kind islanders offering food for a donation or a coffee. For all the privileges that set us up well for this. For past experiences that strengthened me in following my intuition and preparing accordingly.

I am about to launch a pilot of a mental fitness program that’s been transformative. I use the skills multiple times throughout the day, especially under our current stressors. Due to our power situation, I haven’t finalized the details in a pretty way. But if you’d like to be one of the first to try the program out with me, I’d love to hear from you. Leave your email below, or contact me at Rossandjamieadventure @ gmail.com for the details. If you’re ready to take charge of your life and move the needle on getting out of your head and into a meaningful life that lights you up, let’s chat. I’d love to send you more info and learn about where you are at and what you’re looking for.

And wherever you are, stay safe, and take care. You’ve got this.

Mastering Mental Fitness in The Messy Middle

Have you ever heard the term mental fitness? I hadn’t until recently, but now that I have, I’ve realized it’s a beautiful description for the work that I’ve been doing.

I am currently in the midst of some major hustle for my business ventures, taking on new clients, promoting the work I do to support women in figuring out what they truly want and bringing it to life, writing a book, and taking a couple of great courses. I am really busy!

At the same time, I’m taking more time off than I have in a long time. We’ve celebrated our anniversary, my birthday, Ross’ half birthday (yup!), PEI Pride Week, and next we’ll be spending some time with family.

So right now, I am pulling out every trick in the book to work as efficiently and effectively as possible. And in part, that means relying on mental fitness.

Thanks to the program I’m working on getting certified in, I’ve got lots of tools in my toolbox. I’m doing a daily walking meditation as I start my day, but I’m also integrating quick breaks to help me to get focused and make sure I’m in the best headspace possible to address challenges and make decisions.

The painful reality of being in the messy middle of building my business is that most days don’t get wrapped up with a pretty bow, and I rarely complete my to-do list (though I am getting better and better and completing my daily priorities list). Mental fitness is what keeps me in a state of wisdom, gratitude, hope, and making progress. It’s what helps to keep me eager to jump out of bed in the morning and eager to go to sleep at night (and rinse and repeat tomorrow).

What tools are you using to navigate life right now? Do you find yourself getting sabotaged by anxiety or negative voices in your head? Let’s share what we’re doing to keep going.

Mastering your mental health is a muscle. We need to practice flexing those muscles just like we might go for a swim, take a walk, or do a pushup.

Take care, friends. Especially in light of the world. Focus on what’s yours to do today, and tomorrow will get clearer too.

Privilege, and Discerning What’s Yours To Do

Gosh. Where to begin.

I’m processing privilege right now, and I’m figuring out what’s mine to do. If you can relate to that, and if you aren’t going to get really uncomfortable when I talk about the current state of U.S. politics and the issue of abortion, read on.

When the Supreme Court of the United States recently decided to overrule past precedent (and, in some cases, to ignore what they’d promised to do during their confirmation hearings), they did so from places of extreme privilege.

These judges may have in the past been in vulnerable situations, but now, I can confidently say that were a member of their family or friend group in the position of having to raise a child or risk their life to do so against their will, they could afford to help that person. They’re privileged enough to be able to afford to send them to a safe clinic, in a neighboring state or country, and they have the intelligence and other resources to ascertain what’s needed and get it done. They also can be assured some agency in where they live – if they decide the laws of their current state don’t work for them, they’ve got options.

If it isn’t obvious, these folks are in the minority. They may or may not be in the “1%”, as recent politicians have called it, but they have the privileges of wealth, and power, and education, and likely others as well. Most of them are white, and most of them are male, and for the most part, they’ve gotten to navigate the world without their right to marry who they want or, in many cases, spend time where they want or pursue the life they want, being questioned.

The vast majority of people with uteruses in the United States of America do not have all of these privileges. And in fact, a majority of people living in the U.S., whether they’ve got a uterus or not, believe that the Supreme Court’s decision was wrong. It crossed a dangerous line by setting the precedent that people can be forced to raise a child, and yet the other person (the one with the penis) who contributed their sperm is irrelevant in the matter. We’ve already, just in the last week or so, heard the horrendous news that an eleven-year-old child was denied an abortion.

Eleven. Do some simple math and think about who might have fathered that child and whether forcing an eleven-year-old child to carry a child is really a good idea.

Prior to this decision, I’d pulled way back on my time spent on social media. I’m now in the position that, while most of my friends are on the same page about this as I am, I have to reckon with the fact that a few close friends are profoundly NOT on the same side of this issue as I am. And recognizing that people I know and love care more deeply for the potential of some cells to grow into a child, even if that child could be unwanted or unable to thrive in the world, even if that child surviving could kill the parent, metaphorically or physically…I honestly don’t even have the words here.

I know they have their reasons for their opinions. But my knowledge of history tells me that most of the reason for the church and its members adopting this opinion as such a hot button issue is because of white supremacy. It’s because when Black people fought for and won some concessions, FINALLY, in the civil rights movement, a hundred years after the Civil War should have made that fight moot but didn’t because people are stubborn and fearful, the church wanted and needed an issue, a scapegoat, a way to maintain power over women and minorities.

Am I generalizing slightly? Sure. Am I making any of this up? Not at all. Go do a bit of research if you don’t believe me.

So what am I, a white woman with plenty of my own privilege, even more privileged to currently be living in Canada, supposed to do with this?

How do I stand by knowing that women will die and lose the right to a life of their own choosing every day because of this ruling?

How do I support my family and friends? How do I support the people I don’t know?

How do I avoid getting consumed by the panic and fear and frustration and anger?

And you may be asking the same question too.

The truth, of course, is that discerning what is mine to do is a very, VERY personal choice.

I would love for every person reading this to begin contacting their representatives on a weekly basis if they don’t already.

I would love for every person reading this in the U.S. with enough privilege and safety to do so to begin attending protests regularly.

I’d also love for those same folks with privilege and safety to send some money weekly to organizations who continue to do the work to make sure all those who need this life-saving care receive it. Reproductive rights are human rights.

But whether or not you, or I, do any of those three things at all or as often as I would like to see it happen, I want ALL of us to take a pause. Take a moment to stop operating from a reactionary perspective.

Once you’ve done some meditation or taken a walk outside or journaled about your feelings or danced your face off for twenty minutes – you know, whatever mindfulness practices keep you going in the face of stress and anxiety and panic and anger – take a pause.

Survey the situation around you. What are your privileges? What are your skills? What power do you have right now? Ask yourself, what is mine to do? Consider what is yours to do today, and this week, and this month, and this year, on this issue.

And then take the first step. If we take a step every day, or even every week, how much better off are we?

For me, what is mine to do varies somewhat from day to day. And I will keep checking in on it. But the big theme for me, right now, is recognizing that I have two areas to focus.

I want to be known as a supporter and defender of human rights by everyone who knows me. I know a ton of people in the U.S. So I’m going to keep doing what I can, from a distance, to support those I know and those I don’t, following the guidance of those who know more than me so that I don’t unknowingly make any of us a target.

And because supporting the local community here is a major focus of my day to day work, I will continue to do that. I’m looking forward to attending Pride events here later this month. I will continue to offer scholarships and partial scholarships to support those seeking coaching and clarity. I will keep learning more about local cultures, customs, struggles, history, and ways that I can be a force for good in the world.

And perhaps most importantly, long-term? I won’t forget myself and my own self-care in the struggle. Because if I give everything I have, every day, without making time for my own needs, there will come a day when I will become a burden on those around me, rather than a boon and force for good in the world.

Keep reading. Keep learning. Keep growing. What is yours to do today?

Keep asking. And keep taking a step. The fight is an urgent one, and if we wait for an election or for someone else to do it, there won’t be anyone or anything left to fight for.

Weird vibes

So, I’ve been honest here about my recent struggles with anxiety and overwhelm and the work I’ve been doing on myself through the Enneagram, other forms of personal development, therapy, and self-care.

I wanted these past few weeks to be me getting back into the swing of things with my business after a delightful week of fun with my mom here on Prince Edward Island.

I wanted to be focused and on top of it.

And, while I think I’ve done a decent job of meeting my obligations and haven’t (I hope) missed any deadlines, I’ve been giving off vibes.

Weird vibes.

Vibes that confuse the heck out of people.

Can you possibly relate to this, or am I alone? Am I the only person who, in a state of anxiety, finds themselves making their friends and family think they’re getting the death stare when they’re actually getting the deer in headlights/confused as all heck look by someone who’s struggling to keep up?

It’s contributed to some communication challenges recently, for sure. And it’s given me plenty of fodder for therapy sessions.

But I am grateful. I’m grateful for family and friends who’ve done the work alongside me to communicate what they’re feeling, tell me when I’m bothering them, and taking care of themselves in the process.

I’m grateful for a cat who insists on all of the snuggles when I’m in a funk.

I’m grateful for a new therapist who seems like a great fit for me.

And I’m so excited for this season of concerts and my new pilot Enneagram program.

I imagine these weird vibes have something to do with my Enneagram type (I’m a 1) and something to do with all of the stress it can be really hard to avoid putting on myself.

I may not have my anxiety completely under control yet. I may have some weird vibes ahead of me. But I’m thankful for this life I’ve crafted and that you’re a part of it too.

Take care, friends.

P.S. I’m still writing a book. Any interest in getting on my email list in exchange for some previews from it? If so, please comment or reach out.

Five Things The Enneagram Taught Me About Myself

As I coordinate schedules in hopes of getting my pilot Enneagram group going soon, I’m thinking about how much I’ve learned about the Enneagram since I began studying it about two years back.

The Enneagram is an ancient tool for learning more about yourself and how you relate to other people. Unlike astrology or Human Design, someone doesn’t tell you your type, based on particular facts about yourself, like when you were born. Instead, you study the nine types (traditionally, this is done as an oral tradition, and our group will be watching videos to learn our type), and from that study and through engaging with other people to learn more about it, you can discern which type you are. Knowing your type gives you a path to follow toward a more whole and healthy life. In my case, it’s also made a major difference in my marriage, and it’s helped me to understand my family and friends better too.

Here are the top five things the Enneagram taught me about myself!

I Get Frustrated

Okay, so maybe that seems obvious to you if you know me personally. Or maybe you’re reading this and thinking, don’t we all get frustrated sometimes? But the Enneagram taught me that most of the time, when I don’t know how to put what I’m feeling into words, or when I feel angry, or a lot of other negative emotions, what’s honestly at the root of it all is frustration. And while that frustration is often directed at other people, more often than not, at least if I dig deeper, I will find out that I’m most frustrated with myself.

I Am My Own Worst Critic

Again, this might be obvious to some of you, and to some of you, you may assume everyone is their own worst critic. But as a 1 on the Enneagram, I’ve got a fun little voice in my head that likes to spend all of its time pointing out flaws in the world, but most especially my own flaws. Recognizing and identifying that voice is the first step in some major acceptance of who I am. It’s also helped me to recognize why it is that I get so critical about little things when I am tired or under stress. It’s also given my husband more compassion for me, rather than simply feeling angry or hurt, when I default to wanting things clean or fixed or put away on my schedule (rather than on OUR schedule).

I Verbally Process Things

Before studying the Enneagram, I knew I sometimes verbally processed (thought things through out loud, in conversation). What I hadn’t realized is that verbal processing is the way I like to process everything! One of my favorite tips from podcaster, author, and Enneagram expert Suzanne Stabile has been that I should end each day verbally processing what’s happened with my husband (or a friend, roommate, or even a journal or cat might work in a pinch). It’s something that I’d generally done with my husband, but studying the Enneagram made me aware of how healthy and important this is for me and my mental health.

People Tend To be Past, Present, or Future-Oriented

Before studying the Enneagram, I knew I was very aware of the present moment. I knew that some of my clients and friends struggled with looking ahead to the future or resisted spending time talking about the past, even wanting to put up a wall and avoid revisiting tough experiences.

I now know that each of us either past, present, or future-oriented. I happen to be oriented to the present, and for me, that means I have no problem supporting someone right now, but I can get easily distracted by a present task (or email or question) and lose sight of the bigger picture ahead of me.

I’ve also learned that some people (including a very close family member) are oriented toward the past, which can help explain why it’s tough for them to create goal and find motivation toward the future. Likewise, my more future-minded family members are constantly thinking about what’s next, so much so that it can be hard for them to enjoy the present moment. Of course, there are practices to help with all of this. In our ideal worlds, we’d all find balance between all three, so we can take steps to get there.

Just knowing this is a normal distinction and pattern has really helped me to understand why other people do what they do.

You Aren’t As Special, Or As Normal, As You Think You Are

What do I mean by that, exactly? There are so many pieces of the puzzle when it comes to who we are. In addition to the circumstances I experienced growing up, I am an Enneagram 1, a highly sensitive person (HSP), and an introvert. I’m also the oldest of four children, a white cisgender woman without any children, I grew up fairly well off in the Northeastern United States….

I could go on and on, of course, but the point is, there are tons of factors that come together and make us unique.

At the same time, I can find community, finding a LOT in common, in any of those groups. I might bond with one person who grew up visiting the White Mountains of New Hampshire, find traits in common with fellow introverts or with oldest siblings, or find people who sound an AWFUL lot like me who also identify as Enneagram 1s.

Some of my “weirdest” quirks I have in common with a lot of other people. And knowing that feels vulnerable and also super cool.

If you want to figure out your own Enneagram type, or if you know it, but you’d like to learn more about it and get to know people of other types as well as your own, please reach out to me and join our pilot.

And as always, if you’re looking for support in finding out what you truly want in life, and then figuring out how to make it happen, I’m your woman!


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an intro to the enneagram

Hello! If we don’t know each other well yet, I am Jamie Feinberg, and I help women who feel like life is happening to them, or passing them by, to figure out what they truly want – whether that’s time to pursue an old dream, a new career or hobby, or to travel – and then make it a reality.

I believe that if you never do the work to discover and cultivate a life you love, then you will never find the freedom and fulfillment that comes from pursuing a life free of regret. 

So, in essence, that’s why I’ve gotten so darn obsessed with the Enneagram over the last couple of years. I’d been pursuing my own personal development for a few years prior when I discovered it. The Enneagram, if you aren’t already aware, is not a typical “personality test”, for two reasons, as I see. One reason is that unlike Myers-Briggs, astrology, Human Design, or any of the other typing systems I’ve seen or explored, you get to type yourself! 

(If you have already heard about this program and are ready to sign up and get started and join us, please email rossandjamieadventure @ gmail.com so we can work out the details!)

Despite what you’ve perhaps read online, the ancient wisdom of the Enneagram is an oral tradition, and the way that you are meant to discern your type is in conversation with mentors, friends, family, but mainly doing your own contemplation. 

The other major difference about the Enneagram from other “personality quizzes” and the like? Once you know your type, the Enneagram also gives you a road map to follow for a more healthy, integrated, fulfilled life. So it’s not “here’s your type, here’s what’s challenging for you, have a nice life”. It’s more like “here’s your type, here are your strengths and weaknesses, and if you do these practices and keep growing in your awareness, you can keep stepping into an even better version of yourself. Oh, and by the way, here are the ways you’ll want to interact with other types and even help them become their best selves!” 

Since discovering the Enneagram, I’ve become a better wife, a better friend, a better daughter, and a better sibling. My husband has frequently thanked me for the work I’ve been doing on my own personal development, because it’s made me a better wife AND helped him to learn to be a better husband too!

We can’t control the people around us, but we can lead by example, and seeing how the work of the Enneagram has had ripple effects in my life has inspired me to share it with others.

If this interests you, head here to learn more and connect with me.

Have a wonderful week. It’s been a tough one for many of us. Stand up for what you believe in. The world needs it. And take care of yourself.


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