life coach

Sharing signs of progress

| jamiefeinberg

Gosh, it’s been a month of a week, and I have had a few days in particular where it’s been a struggle to keep myself grounded. On one of those days, I was working on some never fun bureaucracy type stuff, and it was triggering panic in my body, in spite of all the mindfulness work I was doing to work through it. I felt alarmed and had a day of important things to do, and as Ross tried to help me as we prepared for an important meeting, I realized if I didn’t get myself under control, I was bound to trigger him and likely have a rage episode.

So what does progress look like? In this case, progress was telling Ross I was going upstairs because I couldn’t get myself under control. There, I ran in place for two minutes to wear myself out. And then I just let my body settle down. As I prepared myself some lunch, I realized it had truly worked, and my body was grounded again. And thank goodness, because when a couple of hours later, I managed to spill water all over the kitchen floor washing dishes, I just laughed for a couple of seconds, grabbed a couple of towels, and cleaned it up. And when those kitchen towels weren’t enough, I headed downstairs for a bath towel, laughingly summarizing for Ross what I’d done in passing as he said he was sorry I had a hard time from the next room.

End of drama. I cleaned up in the kitchen.

Photo by Yana Kangal: https://www.pexels.com/photo/red-poppy-flowers-17868679/

Friends, in the past, this would have had me raging and upsetting my husband, perhaps getting in the way of his ability to show up for our meeting. It would have resulted in me beating other people up and then beating myself up for hours, thanks to the judge in my head.

Instead? It was just a day, friends.

This is what can happen when we take those small, daily steps to instill better habits. I’ve got a mindfulness habit. I do group work using mental fitness and the Enneagram throughout the month. And I’ve cultivated healthy communication and listening with my husband.

There are signs of progress outside of my own life too. I’m especially inspired seeing the media coverage of some of the things ICE is doing (like detaining and basically torturing lawful permanent residents of the United States, citizens of Canada who never violated laws, and many more stories of what those profiled in the media have seen). Knowing that judges are saying no (even if the administration is trying to pretend that doesn’t matter) and that some of the anti-trans laws and actions are being struck down is promising.

Spring is my favorite season, because it is such a sign of progress. We get to see bits and bobs of life springing up from nothing. It’s so exciting and beautiful and encouraging after a long winter.

Wherever you are, whatever you’re facing this week, I hope you can see glimmers of hope. Bits of progress in your own life and in the world.

Want help getting some clarity on what’s going on? You know how to reach me.

Take good care. Keep up the good fight.

Help! How Do I Make Friends Who Don’t Have Kids? 

| jamiefeinberg

As a childfree woman, and as a person who has moved several times in addition to my five years of full-time travel in an RV, I’ve often been faced with the task of making new friends. Experience has shown me that as awesome as my friends with children are, especially at certain periods in life, parents don’t have as much free time to hang out with me as I’d like – especially if I want some social time without kids. So read on for my top tips, gleaned from my experience establishing myself in new communities over the years. 

Before I begin, let me make a few things clear: 

One – I love children. I have zero issues with the fact that children exist. (I know that may sound snide, but it’s me being honest and forthright.) I also enjoy spending time with them, as long as a) it doesn’t involve holding or caring for babies, and b) they respect my boundaries, as well as c) they are not mine, and they go home with their families after spending time with me. 

Two – I love parents! And there are tons of awesome coaches in the world who write their content for parents. So I’m not going to cater my content to them, but I would encourage you to seek them out if you haven’t found them yet. 

Three – This article is tailored at childfree humans, but it is entirely possible that even if you aren’t childfree, you enjoy making new friends outside of the context of parenting, or you’re of an age where children have grown and moved away. Feel free to read on, keeping the intended audience in mind of course (and keeping any comments mindful of that fact too). 

So, with all those caveats out of the way, here are my top tips for making childfree friends!

  1. Go Where The Children Aren’t

Just as I’d send new parents to the playground or the library to connect with other families, your best bet when you’re on the hunt for new childfree friends is to gravitate towards places without children. So join a book club, or head to your local bar for trivia. Take a dance class or attend one of those painting classes where you’re encouraged to drink wine. Audition for a play (one with only adults!) or join your local softball or roller derby team. Learn to crochet or sign up for a DnD group (again, one with only adults!). Take a class at your local community college.

If you’re sober, meet people that way. If you love to sing, hit up the karaoke bar. Will there be plenty of people at these events who have children? That’s likely. But you’ll be on the right track by making connections with people who are socializing WITHOUT KIDS. (That means they’re able to prioritize themselves, and they’re choosing to do it at places you enjoy too!) You may find an awesome new parent friend who you hit it off with. Or you can tell them about yourself and that you’re looking to meet friends, and they may introduce you to their single friend or favorite DINK (double income, no kids) couple. 

The key? Attend with an open mind, and keep trying new things. 

  1. Share Vulnerably (But Judiciously) Wherever Possible

The way to make deep and meaningful connections with people is to share vulnerably. And yes, that means you need to be willing to share first! A small percentage of people in the world are happy to share their deepest feelings with strangers, without an invitation. But most of us wait to be asked or wait until the other person shares FIRST. 

So go into each day with curiosity, and bring a few questions in your pocket if you need ideas. 

What’s your favorite trip you’ve ever taken? 

Did you have a special person in your life who made a difference in who you are? 

If you had to eat the same food for the rest of your life, what would it be? 

Okay, so maybe that last question isn’t super deep. But each relationship needs to start somewhere. You want to ask one question and wait for a response. Truly listen and respond to what you hear. It may lead you to ask a different question you wouldn’t have thought of. And if they’re reluctant to share, that’s okay – you go first! And then ask them what their answer is. 

You’ll tend to have the most success when you do more listening than talking, but do share enough to show them it’s a safe space to share too. 

  1. Met A Potential Friend? Speak Up!

I’ve had several times in my life when I had an amazing conversation with someone. Only later, when I was reliving it in my mind or relaying the exchange to someone else, did I realize I should have asked them to meet up for coffee sometime or ask to connect on social media or something. 

So it’s now my habit to be ready to connect at any time. I have business cards on me, and I reach out to fun people I interact with on social media. I’ll tell them I’m always looking to meet new friends and I’d love to have a drink sometime and learn more about them. 

Seize the day, friends! Don’t miss out on connecting with your new best friend after the most hilarious bathroom conversation ever!

  1. Get Outside Your Comfort Zone To Increase Your Odds

See what it feels like to add a new activity to your schedule each week. Too busy or introverted for that? Make it bi-weekly or every month. 

Do a quick audit of your schedule currently and how it aligns with your priorities and your energy. (This is one of my favorite things to do with my clients!) Go through the different areas of your life and consider how much time and energy they’re currently taking up and how happy you are in that area. 

If you value great conversation and don’t have any close friends right now, set aside some time each week to move you toward that goal. While you do sometimes have to do a bit of the chit-chat thing when you don’t know someone well, these tips are a great way of getting to the good stuff and knowing whether someone is worth the effort. 

And remember, you don’t have to do this forever. Just until you’ve got a comfortable number of new friends. 

  1. Not Everyone Needs To Be Your Everything Best Friend

Perhaps you once had a best friend, but you had a falling out. Or maybe you’ve never had a best friend, and you’ve always wanted one. 

Be careful to remember that there is a place for a variety of friends in the world. If we try to slot someone into the “best friend” category and all they’re ready for is to be the “drinks after work and catch some live music” friend, we could send them running for the hills. 

Some of your friends may include: 

  • Hobby friends (they love seeing you at drag night/crochet/softball/theater/book club, but they don’t seek out or maintain a relationship elsewhere)
  • Neighbors (greet each other with pleasantries, maybe even invite you to a BBQ sometime?)
  • Work friends
  • Spiritual friends (connected from church or synagogue or mosque or your local Pagan meetup or what-have-you)
  • Parent friends (folks you love to hang out with, but that you know won’t always be available for a drink or meetup as their kids come first) 
  • Childfree friends (though some childfree folks are caregivers, many enjoy a true freedom with their schedule that can be really helpful for meeting up…and we childfree folks have a lot in common!)
  • Family friends (your family or the people who you think of as family)
  • Friends who you attend events with (key tip – don’t rule out folks in different age brackets! For instance, for me, I set my own schedule and I love to have daytime friends – sometimes retired folks have more flexibility than folks my own age)
  • Friends who will help you in a pinch
  • Your ride-or-die, do anything for you, friends

In an ideal world, you want friends in lots of categories, and some of the friends in the top categories may and can move into the lower, more connected categories. It’s normal for people to start out closer to acquaintances. Don’t be upset if most people don’t want to immediately be your best friend. 

On the other hand, I have several delightful friends who skipped several categories nearly immediately. (I have a hunch that being neurodivergent/highly sensitive/empathetic can play a role in this tendency.) So be open to that too, but make sure to avoid smothering them with your expectations. (And that’s where boundaries come in, friends!)  

If your “childfree” friend turns into your “parent” friend at some point, that’s okay too! We all go through phases in life, and we can love and value what was even if it changes. And if you struggle to maintain even a modified friendship with your friend, take heart knowing that a) you’re not alone and b) as they figure out the whole parenting thing, they may have more free time to spend with you again. Try to offer empathy and compassion to them (in addition to offering yourself self-compassion as you mourn what was). 

  1. Online Friends Are JUST As Valuable As In-Person Friends

When I moved to New Hampshire after some time away in college and working in professional musical theater, I didn’t have any friends at all and had to start from the ground up. I staged a musical revue to meet my friends, and yes, it worked! 

But as much as I loved my friends, I found that a) none of the lovely people I met that way turned into my best friend and b) most of those friendships struggled when I moved away. 

When I began getting serious about my own personal development, I sought accountability, training, and coaching online, and as a result, I met dozens of people who I had a LOT in common with around the world. 

As I traveled in my RV, I had the unique privilege of meeting many of my friends in person, and that was even more wonderful! These are people who my husband and I have a lot in common with. Even as our life situations have changed, I’ve maintained these relationships, as well as many valuable friendships with people back in NH or from my college or high school days, online. 

Especially if you’re in a small town or otherwise aren’t finding “your people” where you are, please know that your people ARE out there. You can dive into your personality studying mental fitness training or the Enneagram, or you can join some Facebook groups for like-minded people and be open to making friends there. And don’t be afraid to make the “first move” and ask for a virtual coffee chat.

P.S. I’d love to hear your top takeaway on this topic! Did I miss something? Let me know! And please share it so the childfree people in your life and those seeking friends will know that it can get better.

Anxiety: a path forward

Woman in shades of pink walks forward into a canopy of trees
| jamiefeinberg

I keep changing and changing and changing this title, but in truth, I know exactly what I’m going to say. The conundrum, of course, is that while I have learned that anxiety, even lifelong, chronic anxiety struggles, can get better, I also don’t want to be one of those people promising you snake oil or making you feel invisible if your anxiety proves to be way more stubborn than my own challenges have been.

So, with that caveat, here’s an update on where I’m at, how I did it, and what I can suggest for other people who are struggling too.

The Recap

Last October, I started having panic attacks. Debilitating ones, that were really getting in the way of my work and my life. While I had experienced perhaps a half dozen panic attacks while living in an RV and traveling the US, I was otherwise completely new to them. And when I’d had them, they hadn’t gotten in the way of my work or my life – I knew what triggered them, and within a few hours, I’d been able to move on from them.

But last fall was different. My husband was really worried. I was really worried too; as the current primary breadwinner in our relationship, and with a husband who was a full-time student, what if I couldn’t pay our bills? So I was having panic attacks and I was spiraling further, getting anxious about having anxiety, which I’ve since read is a sign of an anxiety disorder rather than simply anxiety (which everyone has on some level, and which is 100% normal, to my totally not clinical but still very educated on anxiety understanding).

On one particularly bad day, after a series of particularly bad days, I wanted to go to the mental health clinic. But, of course, I was anxious to go. I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t quite believe they’d let me in, especially because I hadn’t received my health card yet (which is your ticket to free health care as a Canadian resident).

My loving husband took me. He sat with me patiently in the car, and he came inside with me too. And the therapist I saw was so affirming, so understanding, and so encouraging as she got me on the list for free province-provided therapy. She even believed me and took notes when I told her I’d recently realized the ample supplies of nightshade vegetables I’d been filling my diet with were apparently a huge anxiety trigger (tomatoes, peppers, potatoes, and eggplant were filling my diet during this harvest season), based on my own Googled research.

This began more than six months of challenges as I waited, and waited, and waited to get that free therapy. Backing off the nightshade vegetables helped make the panic attacks less frequent (think 1-2 per week rather than daily), and I finally signed up online with my first therapist since college. She went from being okay for a few months, helping me to treat the anxiety, to being completely awful, around the same time I was seeing a very mediocre (at least for me) free therapist (finally) provided by the province.

Things Began Shifting

By the spring, a few things began shifting in my life:

  • I wrapped a contract with a client that had been having a negative effect on my mental health for a very long time, giving me space to begin healing from what I later realized was pretty intense burnout
  • The work I’d been doing on myself using the Enneagram was paying off, and I was seeing the benefits in my relationship with Ross, with my family and friends, and most importantly in my relationship with myself too
  • I found a new therapist who was NIGHT AND DAY from my previous experiences; she’s still supporting me, and I am grateful every day that I didn’t give up on finding the right person for me
  • The time I’d invested in finding community on PEI was bearing fruit; I had local friends and was doing meaningful work, collaborating in multiple music ensembles and enjoying the opportunity to lead one of them
  • I created an Enneagram group and had a really successful pilot program (my first group coaching program over several months)
  • I discovered the Positive Intelligence framework and became a major advocate for the benefits of mental fitness (and subsequently, I became a mental fitness trainer and incorporated the work into my coaching business)
  • I finally stepped outside of my comfort zone into an Anti-Anxiety program offered free to Islanders (called I CAN) and completed it successfully

According to my anxiety coach, my last panic attack was in late August. I know it was a combination of the techniques I had internalized by this point (learned in both I CAN and in my mental fitness studies) as well as some of the deeper personal development I had done. Having my therapist to cheer me on was especially helpful on the days I needed someone to vent to – whether you work with a therapist as well (always ideal) or just find a friend or hire a coach or accountability partner, that safe space was key.

I’ve now realized that I’ve been battling anxiety my entire life, or at least as far back as middle school. I also realize that if I had known then what I know now about mental fitness, I wouldn’t have needed to have the stress and overwhelm in my life. And I would have made healthier choices from a sage place rather than acting out of fear or to numb or distract myself.

What I Recommend

My own personal journey to get control of my anxiety was more long-winded than it needed to be, but there were also a lot of factors at stake. If I hadn’t been overwhelmed in my work, things might have played out differently, perhaps on a faster timetable. If I wasn’t so sensitive to nightshades, the panic attacks may have been less debilitating. But what I now realize is that the gift of my panic and anxiety struggles over the past year or more is that I now have direct experience I can use when coaching my clients. I can relate to them in ways I never could have five years back. What a gift!

Also, for those of you with access to some kind of free anxiety program, or one that’s very affordable for you, do consider it, if you’ve got the bandwidth for it. While I wasn’t learning many new things in mine, the daily practice and accountability (just like I use with my clients) helped me to finally finish integrating all the things people had taught me over the years. I CAN is a great option for Islanders. Find out what, if anything, is available for you.

If you want to sleep well at night, if you want a life with less stress and overwhelm, if you want the tools to find joy and peace and curiosity again, I’d love to introduce you to the mental fitness training we can do together. I have a few spots open in a small group program that will be starting up this January. I’m also developing a new program specifically with musicians in mind, and I’m planning future groups for a) for childfree people b) for men and c) for retirees.

If you’re intrigued, the easiest way for me to tell you more is for us to hop on a call so I can give you a tour of the program and a bit of coaching and some training to incorporate when you’re feeling anxious or fearful or angry or judgmental. I include a few of my favorite mindfulness techniques that you can actually use anywhere, at any time. It’s a free call, and if it intrigues you, I’m offering my programs on a sliding scale to make them as accessible as possible as we begin 2023.

I have such gratitude to be a coach and to be doing this life-changing work. Please reach out to learn more, and if you think this might resonate with a friend or a family member, please encourage them to do the same.

Take care, and be well.

Hurricane Fiona

| jamiefeinberg

We’ve experienced hurricanes before. Living in New England, we’d catch the tail end of them occasionally, and in Florida, we experienced one in an RV, prepped with a go bag, near a bath house, and fearing we’d get COVID if we had to flee. (Luckily for us, it fizzled out by the time it was near us.)

Suffice to say, though, that when we moved to Prince Edward Island, Canada, we didn’t expect to encounter hurricanes.

I’ve been becoming more and more aware of my “prepper” tendencies. They increased significantly when COVID-19 came into focus in 2020, and finding the balance between prepared and hoarding can be trickier than you might think.

As we got wind a hurricane might come out way, a part of me felt it would be healthier to just use the food we had at home. And when my car started acting up, it meant I would have to shop on foot. But I am so glad I headed out Thursday for essentials, and Friday for a few more I couldn’t fit in the first trip.

Hurricane Fiona was no joke. We lost power Friday night, and as of this writing, I think our street is probably still days from it returning. And when 95% of the island lost power and nearly everyone it seems lost trees or gardens or suffered damage, gratitude isn’t hard to come by.

So I continue to offer gratitude. For a radio. For enough food. For access on foot to places to charge devices. For kind islanders offering food for a donation or a coffee. For all the privileges that set us up well for this. For past experiences that strengthened me in following my intuition and preparing accordingly.

I am about to launch a pilot of a mental fitness program that’s been transformative. I use the skills multiple times throughout the day, especially under our current stressors. Due to our power situation, I haven’t finalized the details in a pretty way. But if you’d like to be one of the first to try the program out with me, I’d love to hear from you. Leave your email below, or contact me at Rossandjamieadventure @ gmail.com for the details. If you’re ready to take charge of your life and move the needle on getting out of your head and into a meaningful life that lights you up, let’s chat. I’d love to send you more info and learn about where you are at and what you’re looking for.

And wherever you are, stay safe, and take care. You’ve got this.

Signs of Spring

Beach out an old window in winter - Ross and Jamie Adventure
| jamiefeinberg

I write this in mid-March. I’m looking out my window at a clear blue sky, trees with leaves bare, birds flying from branch to branch. I’m thinking about the fact that while my walk to the farmer’s market was really cold today, I stayed warm enough. That sun really helped. And though it’s only March, and it’s still winter as I’m writing this, I’m starting to see and feel signs of spring around me.

Of course, intellectually, I know spring isn’t here yet. But listening to the birds as they call to each other outside, I’m focusing instead on that sun, picturing the beach days to come, the sunsets on the ocean, the flowers, the berries…

I love spring. It’s my favorite season, always has been. The promise of what is to come, the new life, the eternal optimism of spring – I don’t think we can beat it. Sure, I love the summer days too, and fall leaves changing is so special…but when spring is in the air, it makes my heart happy.

As I navigate stress and a variety of challenges in many areas, I keep coming back to this hope, this promise. I sing about it. I dance it. I breathe it in.

Nothing is promised, but we’re still here. I’m still here. You’re still here. And whatever we’re facing right now, spring is still coming.

And that, I think, is something to celebrate today.

Here’s to spring, to new beginnings, and to tomorrow.

Take care, friend, and if you’ve had some good news you’d like me to celebrate with you, please leave a comment and share it with me!

______________________________

Supporting Our Blog

We are so thankful for your support of our blog and our careers! You can help further by doing any or all of the following:

  • Purchase one of Ross’ albums! 
  • Take Ross’ online ukulele course!
  • Become a patron of our work!
  • Make purchases via our Amazon website links. There is no additional cost to you, and a portion of the proceeds can support our travels. Begin your Amazon search here.
  • Make other purchases using our affiliate links. Signing up with Dosh is a great way for everyone with a smartphone to support us, and we also have options for aspiring virtual assistants as well as occasional and full-time RVers to save money.
  • Subscribe to our blog, as well as perhaps InSearchOfAScoop.com, and recommend our work to your friends and family.
  • Take music or theater lessons (group or private) from us, either in person or via Skype at TinyVillageMusic.com. 

Join the list for Crafting Your Life Adventure!

| jamiefeinberg

The wait list is open! Crafting Your Life Adventure is for you if you’re an aspiring adventurer, looking for more but unsure of where to start.

It’s for you if you’re ready to step into your passion or make a life transition or add excitement or a career change into the mix.

It’s for you if you’re dreaming of more: more play. More exploration. More free time. More family time. More income. More travel. More adventure.

We get to choose what we want for ourselves. It isn’t always easy, and in fact, it can be very, very challenging. But when we are armed with the mindset and tools to succeed, two things happen: a) we become happier, more fulfilled people better able to manage life’s challenges and b) we become the creators of our lives, rather than feeling stuck or in survival mode 24/7, living an intentional life.

There is financial aid available, and there’s an awesome early bird rate when the cart opens! Be sure to get on the wait list so you don’t miss your chance to save on this life-changing, transformational group coaching program.

Will you be joining me? Want to learn more? Let’s connect!

An Almost-Fire And A Major Nuisance

| jamiefeinberg

Well, it’s been one of those weeks here, but first of all, I hope you are well and staying warm! Much of the United States is dealing with unusual cold (with Texas particularly struggling), and we’ve had some of those cold temps in our RV here in New Mexico too.

The biggest bummer was that our space heater gave out – and killed most of our outlets in the RV in the process. That means most of the places we plug in aren’t working anymore – and we are very lucky we didn’t have a fire in the RV!

We’ve also had the nuisance of the campground turning off our water for several days in a row.

We are still sorting out next steps and whether insurance will cover the damage. In the meantime, the key for me to getting through this week has been gratitude.

Here are ten things I’m grateful for this week:

  • Propane heat (and a nearly full tank)
  • The extra income to order a new space heater without saving up for it
  • Lots of delicious food we’d made over the weekend
  • Bottled water
  • Hot Hands hand warmers (I sleep with them on my toes, between two layers of socks)
  • Tea
  • A working microwave and television
  • Cell phone and internet
  • Warm clothes
  • My incredible family

So, I challenge you! What are a few things you’re grateful for this week?

______________________________

Supporting Our Blog

We are so thankful for your support of our blog and our careers! You can help by doing any or all of the following:

  • Purchase one of Ross’ albums! 
  • Take Ross’ online ukulele course!
  • Become a patron of our work!
  • Make purchases via our Amazon website links. There is no additional cost to you, and a portion of the proceeds can support our travels. Begin your Amazon search here.
  • Make other purchases using our affiliate links. Signing up with Dosh is a great way for everyone with a smartphone to support us, and we also have options for aspiring virtual assistants as well as occasional and full-time RVers to save money.
  • Subscribe to our blog, as well as perhaps InSearchOfAScoop.com, and recommend our work to your friends and family.
  • Take music or theater lessons (group or private) from us, either in person or via Skype at TinyVillageMusic.com. 

I’ve Got A Good Habit – Do You?

Woman flosses teeth
| jamiefeinberg

Do you ever look at super-successful people and wonder how they manage to do it all? You know, they’ve got kids, successful businesses, hobbies, social lives, travel a lot, maybe they’re caring for a parent or helping a friend too.

Okay, so yes, reality check, if they’re super-rich they might have a nanny and a chef and a chauffeur and a housecleaner. But before they got there, and even with all that help, you know what is likely at the root of all of their success?

Habits.

Good habits do SO MUCH For us. They help us set boundaries. They make tasks easy and without any extra cognition or willpower. They give us the freedom to focus on other things, which means HUGE savings in time and the opportunity to make more money or spend time on what we value most.

This week in my Facebook group, we’ve been talking a lot about habits. Our focus this month has been on walking more throughout the week, but habits are at the backbone of making any healthy change, whether it’s walking, or healthy eating, or adding in meditation or limiting social media use.

What’s your relationship with habits? Do you make them work for you, or do you have bad habits that slow you down? I’d love to hear what this brings up for you in your life. Please comment below and let me know!

P.S. If you’d like support in creating better habits, please join us on Facebook in our free group. And thanks for reading!

______________________________

Supporting Our Blog

We are so thankful for your support of our blog and our careers! You can help by doing any or all of the following:

  • Purchase one of Ross’ albums! 
  • Take Ross’ online ukulele course!
  • Become a patron of our work!
  • Make purchases via our Amazon website links. There is no additional cost to you, and a portion of the proceeds can support our travels. Begin your Amazon search here.
  • Make other purchases using our affiliate links. Signing up with Dosh is a great way for everyone with a smartphone to support us, and we also have options for aspiring virtual assistants as well as occasional and full-time RVers to save money.
  • Subscribe to our blog, as well as perhaps InSearchOfAScoop.com, and recommend our work to your friends and family.
  • Take music or theater lessons (group or private) from us, either in person or via Skype at TinyVillageMusic.com. 

Why I’m Taking A Pause

Sunrise
| jamiefeinberg

Taking a pause. It’s something we all do, right? We pause before starting to sing, hearing the intro notes to mark our place. We pause before waiting for our turn to enter a conversation (or waiting for a good time to interrupt). We pause before falling asleep.

But have you built intentional pauses into your day or your week? There’s a reason that professors take sabbaticals, students get a winter or summer break, and at least the white collar desk jobs get vacations. Heck, there’s also a reason our representatives have breaks between sessions, but that’s a whole other story.

Last week I defend the practice of a tea break, but whether that excites you or not, pausing is essential to wholeness and fulfillment.

Yes: taking a pause is essential. If we’re considering a career shift, or feeling like we’ve overcommitted ourselves, or if we’ve been under a ton of stress lately (whether it’s family stress, job stress, health stress, or the state of the world), a pause is what gives us a chance to hear our intuition.

How many times have you noticed that it’s when you’re taking a shower, or walking the dog, or visiting a museum, that you get an idea for a new project or an angle to solve a problem. I get downloads about new courses during yoga, and ideas for blog posts while listening to podcasts.

I hear a lot of people say they don’t have time to pause. They see my life as so different from theirs, whether it’s that I work from home, set my own hours most of the time, or don’t have children. But I’m also a problem-solver (which is also how I created this life), and that means I LOVE a good challenge!

So let me help you find some free time.

Can you wake up ten minutes earlier so you can drink a cup of coffee or tea in silence, or do a few stretches?

If you’ve got young kids, can you designate five or ten or fifteen minutes of a nap time to reading a book, just for you?

If you have a commute, can you spend part of it listening to favorite music, or traveling in silence, or repeating a positive mantra, or even journaling if you’re on public transit?

Can you meditate for ten minutes before bed, or before you start your nightly Netflix show?

If you’re still struggling, leave me a comment with your challenge, and I’ll share my suggestions. And if you have a favorite way to take a pause, please comment and share it with all of us!

Take it easy, and have a great week. And if you’re an aspiring adventurer too, join me in my group, Crafting Your Life Adventure, for tips on taking a pause and for walking tips and inspiration this month.

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Supporting Our Blog

We are so thankful for your support of our blog and our careers! You can help by doing any or all of the following:

  • Purchase one of Ross’ albums! 
  • Take Ross’ online ukulele course!
  • Become a patron of our work!
  • Make purchases via our Amazon website links. There is no additional cost to you, and a portion of the proceeds can support our travels. Begin your Amazon search here.
  • Make other purchases using our affiliate links. Signing up with Dosh is a great way for everyone with a smartphone to support us, and we also have options for aspiring virtual assistants as well as occasional and full-time RVers to save money.
  • Subscribe to our blog, as well as perhaps InSearchOfAScoop.com, and recommend our work to your friends and family.
  • Take music or theater lessons (group or private) from us, either in person or via Skype at TinyVillageMusic.com.