Thankfulness

One foot planted in gratitude, one foot in hope

| jamiefeinberg

Thanksgiving was my favorite holiday growing up. I loved having a food-centric and people-centric holiday without the pressure of expectations of gifts and making time for concerts and church services and all the things. There’s something simple about this idea, of stopping to be grateful and enjoy the bounty of the harvest. 

It is, of course, an entirely whitewashed version of events containing very little truth. And I understand that acknowledging Thanksgiving without truly being present to all the harm settlers have done since colonizing North America is problematic, at best. 

Photo: Sun peaks through the clouds over the water 

And yet, we can all use more gratitude in our lives, I have to imagine, and if you have a good relationship with your family, all the better on a holiday like Thanksgiving, where that gratitude can extend to the company you’re keeping or to the memories you’re cherishing. And I hope you have a community that you love, and feel loved by, whether it’s your chosen family or given family or both.  

I try to remember the truth while also enjoying the extra focus on gratitude that I think we’d all be better for focusing on more often throughout the year. 

Just as I juggle the duality of Thanksgiving and how we celebrate in the US (as well as in Canada – I get to celebrate it twice!), I also daily see duality in my life. I juggle the duality of gratitude for my many blessings, supportive people, health care, good food, amazing humans and creatures in my life, at the same time that I feel enraged, anxious, fearful around politics, around destruction and violence, around inequalities, around feeling like politicians aren’t listening and/or are mainly complete bought and owned by billionaires. 

Are you able to hold on to gratitude and hope? What dualities do you see playing out in your life? And how are you celebrating Thanksgiving this year, if you are? 

Thanks for contemplating with me. If you found this useful, you may also enjoy my recent grounding practice for winter.And if you’re looking for more mental fitness tools or would like some help tuning down the sabotaging thoughts so you can enjoy your life more, come grab your free session with me. 

You may also know someone else who’d appreciate this. If so, I hope you’ll share it with a friend. Thanks for being here. Keep resisting. 

Focus on joy (and keep resisting)

| jamiefeinberg

Hi friends. This past week has been a lot. Are you doing okay? There is SO much in the news worth our attention right now, and I hope you’ve been able to care for yourself while also staying aware. It’s a fine balance, isn’t it? 

I sometimes use the 5 Calls app to help me to focus my attention and activism, and just today, my suggested options include calling my reps to “denounce Trump’s takeover of DC and demand statehood”, supporting LGBTQ+ rights with the Equality Act (especially important where the Supreme Court is considering taking away same-sex marriage), demanding fair maps in Texas and nationwide, and protecting the civil rights of the unhoused and mentally ill – not to mention ending the war and crisis in Gaza and supporting Ukraine! WOW. That’s not all of it – only the top several. Yikes. 

Photo description: Red PEI rocks in the foreground with grass, ocean beyond it (photo by Jamie Feinberg)

I remain convinced that it’s important for all of us to find ways that work for us to both stay connected to where the greater community needs us AND keep in touch with our own self-care. So this week, I want to encourage you to keep putting in committed, specific time to hear about the news and take action each week. But I ALSO want to remind you to put some of your focus on joy. 

For me, this might translate to making calls to my senators or house representatives or governor after I’ve completed my morning mediation and practices, before I begin my work day. It might be sharing a relevant article or post after I’ve taken some time to digest what’s going on in the world. 

But it also means being present to the goodness, the joy, the moment. Yesterday we had a heat warning here, with intense humidity exacerbating the situation. This made my walk home especially brutal, as it was like a wave of warm heat hitting my face when I stepped outside after work. While my brain kept trying to focus on how uncomfortable that was (a habit that comes easily to me as an Enneagram 1), I instead kept redirecting my attention to focus on what I was feeling, and ideally find gratitude in it. Every so often, a breeze would come through, and I’d tune in to the feeling of the wind on my back and my arms and my head, enjoying a brief reprieve from the stifling heat. I focused my attention on the beautiful blue sky and how it contrasted with the texture and shape of the green leaves on the trees. I celebrated that while my body felt uncomfortable in the heat, my muscles were easily cooperating as I took each step to walk home. My knees were happy. My shoes felt comfortable. I got moments of reprieve in the shade from the heat. 

I also used this practice midday yesterday. I experienced a challenging time at work, and rather than try to muscle through it, I took a brief break to get out of the building and walk around the block. It was warm, but there was a wonderful breeze at that hour, so I focused my attention on how nice the breeze felt and how nice it was to be outside instead of behind a desk for a few minutes. When I returned to my desk, I wasn’t completely “over” the incident, but it felt much less close to me, and I was able to enjoy my afternoon at work and bring more joy and compassion to my interactions with my colleagues. 

So now it’s your turn. How does this resonate with you? Where are you focusing right now? Is your focus habitual, or are you able to turn your attention from the news to the present moment with ease? What is or isn’t working for you right now? 

And if you’d like to learn more about the habitual patterns that keep you stuck, let’s connect. I’m happy to offer a Saboteur Assessment, or you can join me in learning about the patterns of your personality and how to break free of them using the Enneagram. 

Recent articles from me you might enjoy: 

Rest and retreat

Finding and creating community

Let good enough be good enough

Creating space, allowing stillness

Anxious for the future? Quiet and control those hyper-vigilant thoughts

Finding gratitude while facing fascism

Enjoy the sun

10 ways your mind is messing with you

Joy as resistance

Tell me when I can pre-order your book!

Enjoy the sun

| jamiefeinberg

Friends, I am disgusted and fearful and angry and sad and more when I read news headlines or simply think about how many children and adults are suffering and whose rights are being stripped away. 

I just called my senators to oppose Casey Means for Surgeon General. I will keep calling my representatives to hold them accountable each week. And I will spend a little time each day being open to the best ways that I can make a difference in the world. 

But you know one of my favorite things in the world? 

Sunlight. 

Photo of a happy dog running down a path by Pixabay

A sunny day, with blue sky and mild temperatures, is such a gift. And in our part of the world, I am getting more and more beautiful sunny days to enjoy. Spring is a beautiful time of year. I’m watching tulips begin to bloom, and watching bumblebees and honeybees at work. Friends are beginning to share the bounty of their gardens with us. I’m taking more joy (and less layers!) on my walks. 

While I know there are plenty of people in the world, like my husband, who struggle to deal with the heat that the sun can bring, we know the sun isn’t just a beautiful gift for us. It’s also essential to life. Without the sun, plants and nature can’t do its job, and our food supply would be at stake. We’re all so interconnected, and the sun is an essential piece of the puzzle in our lives. 

You may also be feeling stressed. You may feel pressured by some saboteurs in your minds. Perhaps you’ve got some thoughts popping in on the regular, telling you that you can rest AFTER you achieve your next goal, or hit your next financial milestone, or finish doing ______. 

I want to challenge you to ignore those voices. Be here NOW. Enjoy the sun as it comes through your window or touches your face. Smell the flowers. Savor the feeling of a breeze on your face, or the wind in your hair. If you are a gardener, enjoy the cool soil between your fingers, or the delicate seeds and plants you cultivate, or the glistening water as you water a flower. 

We have no idea what’s coming tomorrow. If habeas corpus is eliminated in the United States, none of our rights to due process are safe. That could mean we’re also rounded up and imprisoned in the days or weeks or years to come. We can try to fight it, but it’s something much, much bigger than just us. The fight may or may not be successful.

So what can you do, in the face of uncertainty? In the face of possible peril? 

Be here now. Enjoy the sun. Savor that slice of cake or a moment or play or joy with loved ones. And remember that rest is also resistance. Life is a marathon, and not a sprint. Keep tuning in to where you are, and appreciate all of the nuisances, details, and even fun that it offers. 

Take good care. Enjoy the sun. 

Want to learn more about the saboteurs getting in the way of a more efficient, effective, and happy life? Let’s talk. 

Looking for a speaker for an online or in-person event? I’d love to hear from you, or have you recommend me to a friend.

A quick life update 

| jamiefeinberg

Hi, friends. I’m fighting a bad cold right now, so rather than tap into my wisest self for some reflection as I aim to each week, I thought I’d do more of a quick life update. 

Photo: I took a photo of a few early spring flowers peeking up through a garden full of dead leaves

I’m feeling grateful for new clients and an upcoming speaking opportunity. 

I’m also proud of myself that I finally completed my book draft and submitted it to a publisher for a review! I’m expecting that my very rough draft has a long way to go before publication, but I am feeling proud of completing the thing, at least in very rough form, and I look forward to updating you on how you can support me on my book journey in the months and likely years to come. 

It’s been a busy and beautiful spring as always in the arts, with one performance behind me, several to come, and a barbershop competition too in June. I’m exploring new opportunities with friends as well in the coming months. 

It’s weird to highlight personal wins when the world is so challenging right now. Some things I am making noise about are the LGBTQ+ suicide prevention hotline going away in the U.S., the disturbing conversations and plans around autism, and the decisions to remove all regulations related to things like the environment – not to mention taking away funding for things like food inspections. I also read a disturbing article giving an important breakdown about where the trans people in sports outcry has come from. Spoiler alert: it’s not based in fact. 

I continue to be grateful for all the people reporting accurately and for everyone standing up for all of our rights. 

And I am so grateful to be in Canada, living a life that I love and helping others to do the same, wherever they are. Even in very challenging circumstances, we can learn to see what’s possible, conquer our own sabotaging thoughts, and enjoy our journey. 

There are lots of stressors in our lives right now, but staying involved and finding joy keeps me grounded and grateful. I hope you have tools to do the same. And if you want to learn how to get out of your own head and do the same, let’s talk. 

Stay safe. Take care. Keep resisting. 

More signs of progress

| jamiefeinberg

Take a moment and breathe with me, will you? 

Feel yourself wherever you are. Whether you’re standing, sitting, lying down, feel yourself on the surface you’re on. Touch an object (maybe try this device?) and observe the temperature and texture of it. Notice fine details you haven’t noticed before. 

We are still here, friend. Let’s celebrate the little wins. You made it to today. 

Photo of a monarch butterfly on a branch by Erik Karits

As much as there continues to be more horrendous news, I am seeing signs of progress regularly this week in the fight toward defending human rights and preventing more atrocities. Read on for more of the progress I am seeing ( in the United States, predominantly), if that interests you. And if not; go find some joy, and keep breathing! You’ve got this. 

More signs of progress: 

The unelected billionaire seems to be displeasing the Rump – or at least, seems to be leaving the prominent position he’s in. While I don’t trust any of that being simply face value, I am happy for signs of tension in that relationship. Cautiously optimistic, I’d say. 

A great win in the courts in Montana this week for transgender and intersex (and any gender-noncomforming folks who might also be persecuted) folks in Montana. Their extreme bathroom bill was struck down! 

Wisconsin’s election was NOT bought by Elon. His $25 Million could have gone so far, but instead he threw it at a candidate who was resoundingly defeated. 

And while Florida’s election for two house seats was still easily won by Republicans, it was a MUCH lower margin than in November. Progress. 

I’m also hearing more and more horror stories making headlines about visas being revoked. So while it’s disgusting that students and professionals alike are being deported or told to self-deport due to having an opinion the government doesn’t like, I’m heartened by how much people are talking about it and making noise about it to their reps. 

And of course, I have to shout out Cory Booker, who spoke on the floor for more than 25 hours to make “good trouble” and make sure we know and understand that this administration is NOT normal and it’s NOT okay. 

As I walked outside today before writing this, I enjoyed a gorgeous blue sky. I’ve recently booked another speaking gig and gotten myself a new part-time job I am thrilled about in addition to the beautiful mental fitness, coaching and Enneagram work I am privileged to share with the world. 

I hope that whatever your own situation is, you’re finding signs of progress too. And if you have one, please consider sharing it with me! 

Take care, and keep fighting the good fight. And remember, rest is resistance. Find joy. Be love. One step, and one day, at a time. 

Curious about working with me? Want to learn more about what’s keeping you stressed or stuck? Book a saboteur assessment here, or learn more about the Enneagram here.

Sharing signs of progress

| jamiefeinberg

Gosh, it’s been a month of a week, and I have had a few days in particular where it’s been a struggle to keep myself grounded. On one of those days, I was working on some never fun bureaucracy type stuff, and it was triggering panic in my body, in spite of all the mindfulness work I was doing to work through it. I felt alarmed and had a day of important things to do, and as Ross tried to help me as we prepared for an important meeting, I realized if I didn’t get myself under control, I was bound to trigger him and likely have a rage episode.

So what does progress look like? In this case, progress was telling Ross I was going upstairs because I couldn’t get myself under control. There, I ran in place for two minutes to wear myself out. And then I just let my body settle down. As I prepared myself some lunch, I realized it had truly worked, and my body was grounded again. And thank goodness, because when a couple of hours later, I managed to spill water all over the kitchen floor washing dishes, I just laughed for a couple of seconds, grabbed a couple of towels, and cleaned it up. And when those kitchen towels weren’t enough, I headed downstairs for a bath towel, laughingly summarizing for Ross what I’d done in passing as he said he was sorry I had a hard time from the next room.

End of drama. I cleaned up in the kitchen.

Photo by Yana Kangal: https://www.pexels.com/photo/red-poppy-flowers-17868679/

Friends, in the past, this would have had me raging and upsetting my husband, perhaps getting in the way of his ability to show up for our meeting. It would have resulted in me beating other people up and then beating myself up for hours, thanks to the judge in my head.

Instead? It was just a day, friends.

This is what can happen when we take those small, daily steps to instill better habits. I’ve got a mindfulness habit. I do group work using mental fitness and the Enneagram throughout the month. And I’ve cultivated healthy communication and listening with my husband.

There are signs of progress outside of my own life too. I’m especially inspired seeing the media coverage of some of the things ICE is doing (like detaining and basically torturing lawful permanent residents of the United States, citizens of Canada who never violated laws, and many more stories of what those profiled in the media have seen). Knowing that judges are saying no (even if the administration is trying to pretend that doesn’t matter) and that some of the anti-trans laws and actions are being struck down is promising.

Spring is my favorite season, because it is such a sign of progress. We get to see bits and bobs of life springing up from nothing. It’s so exciting and beautiful and encouraging after a long winter.

Wherever you are, whatever you’re facing this week, I hope you can see glimmers of hope. Bits of progress in your own life and in the world.

Want help getting some clarity on what’s going on? You know how to reach me.

Take good care. Keep up the good fight.

Taking a Gratitude Break

| jamiefeinberg

I’m feeling rundown, friends. Tired from the news, angry for friends and loved ones and innocent strangers being targeted and persecuted. If I let my mind wander, it’s easy to move into a space of anxiety about what’s coming down the line. 

Keeping myself grounded and staying on top of self-care can be challenging in all of this. I know that the more I stay present to what I’m doing, my physical actions, where I am in this moment, the better I feel. But the old habits of worry can be tricky to avoid repeating. 

So I feel like now, more than ever, centering my day and my mind on gratitude is essential. 

Photo credit: Alex P

I’m grateful to be in a community (multiple, actually) where I feel seen and valued. 

I’m grateful to have a warm and comfortable apartment, with food in the refrigerator, running water and plumbing, and even a washer and dryer (something I’ve often lived without). 

I’m grateful to have hobbies and work that bring joy to my life and fulfill me, from taking walks in nature to solving mystery boxes to making music or coloring or playing games and solving mysteries with family and friends. 

I’m grateful for a husband and a cat who enhance each day with their presence. 

I’m grateful for family and friends around the world who make the effort to stay connected with me, even when it’s challenging to do so. 

I’m grateful to know why I am here and to have more and more tools to help me as I work to fulfill my mission in the world: to help people to create and live a life that they love. 

I’m grateful for my Enneagram Book Club, for all of my Enneagram friends on the journey, and for my mental fitness clients, coaches, and colleagues.

Especially if you’re struggling right now, I encourage you to take a moment, every day, to anchor into gratitude. The small stuff can be especially important to acknowledge.

Is a gratitude practice a part of your life? 

What are you grateful for right now? 

If this was useful, you might want to check out one of my recent, related articles: 

What Uncertainty Teaches Us

New Year, New Who?

Struggling with Motivation? Just Keep Showing Up

Thanks for being here, friend.

Something in the Air

| jamiefeinberg

It’s been quite a week here on Prince Edward Island in Canada. After many weeks of frigid temperatures, for this past week, I’ve been enjoying milder temperatures (with several days warmer than freezing), and with ample sunlight and blue sky on several days too. Though I know it’s still winter, and we’ve got much more snow and freezing temperatures to come, I can’t help but feel that this bit of a thaw is a touch of spring, and a gentle reminder from Mother Nature to keep my chin up. 

“Look!” the birds seem to say as they swim in whatever puddles they can find. “Spring is coming! You’ve made it this far! Keep going!” 

Photo of chickadee on a spring branch by Nikola Tomašić

And this feeling, in turn, I’m finding reflected in my work and life. After months of liminality, finding it challenging to maintain momentum when I’m still in the “messy middle” of sorting out many projects and next business steps, this week I’ve had several encouraging signs of progress. 

On Monday, I gave my first talk of the year to a classroom of women transitioning into (or back into) the workforce. The co-teacher of the class was extremely encouraging to me, and she let me know that the women told her they could have kept listening to me all day! It’s always a beautiful day when you get to support people and inspire them to create a life they love. 

Today, I spoke with an editor and publisher for the first time about my memoir, which is mostly written but has sat on a shelf for quite a while as other priorities took the forefront. (You can join the email list for it here.) They were so encouraging, and again, it felt like the right time and the message I needed to hear. Such a gift. 

Other highlights included a promising job interview, voice lessons with new and returning students, and great feedback from a client on a project. 

At the same time I’m seeing this bit of encouragement from the universe, showing me signs that I’m on the right path for me and it will keep getting better, I’m looking for signs of the same outside of myself. 

I’m encouraged when I see the ways Canadians are banding together, supporting local when they can. I’m also encouraged that while the vast majority of Republicans are still bowing down to the self-named king, I’m seeing more and more signs of ways that people are stepping up, fighting back, and using their power where they can. 

We don’t have to wait and watch our rights be taken away. Though for some, taking action means protecting yourself, for many, we can call, we can march, we can donate, and we can fight back, in whatever creative ways we are called to do so. 

I know things are tough right now for so many. Where are you finding hope in challenging times? 

P.S. If you’re finding yourself struggling with motivation right now, I hear you. Here’s an article I wrote on the topic a few months back. Please offer yourself, and others, grace, as you can. And if you’d like to learn more about what’s keeping you from achieving all that’s possible for you, experiencing a life with more ease and joy, sign up for a Saboteur Assessment. 

Grateful For You

| jamiefeinberg

Thanks for being here, friend. Thanks for following along on this journey, for showing up each day and being you, and for bringing your curiosity to the table. 

For persevering when things are rough, when you feel disheartened, when you’re ill or mistreated or facing systemic oppression. 

For seeking joy when life presents potential stressors. For choosing love, and not fear. 

As we kick off the busy holiday season, full of opportunities for both saving money and living out our values, I’m offering a few things you might be interested in: 

BOGO 1:1 Coaching (New and returning clients!) $179

  • 2 60-75 min coaching sessions w/ a pre-session worksheet & a follow-up summary (to be used before April 1, 2025) – $179 (buy 1 session, and I throw in one for free!) 
  • This is for you if you’ve wanted to work with me (or work with me again) one-on-one but aren’t ready for a longer-term commitment
  • Last date to book is 12/23/2004

Together (Intro Pricing, all welcome!) $50

  • A new space for growth, self-exploration, and finding community! 
  • Purchase two months of group coaching with me, one Sunday per month at 5 p.m. CT/6 p.m. ET/7 p.m. AT. 12/22 and 1/19. 
  • For December, we’ll focus on celebrating, honoring, and letting go of the year that’s passed. For January, we’ll set intentions for 2025, consider our priorities, and explore the possibilities a new year holds for us. 
  • Rate includes access to a Facebook group to connect between sessions. $50 reserves your spot for two months, AND you can continue at the intro pricing ($25/month) for at least six months if desired. 

Book & Save

  • New customers who book their free saboteur assessment with me by Sunday, December 1st will receive a credit of $200 that can be used toward any regularly priced coaching package before the end of 2024. 
  • Book your saboteur assessment here

Wishing you all the best, whatever you’re celebrating, or not celebrating, in this season. I wish you peace, joy, and love in abundance. 

All the best,

Jamie
P.S. You can find out more about my coaching here, and you can reach out to rossandjamieadventure @ gmail . com if you’d like to sign up for 1:1 coaching or Together.