wellness

A grounding practice for winter

| jamiefeinberg

Friends, my head is so in the clouds that I entirely forgot to write a blog post earlier this week. So as I often do, I pondered what I could use support with today, and I think it’s definitely time to move out of my head and into my body. So, I hope this practice is helpful, either as a practice to try on or as inspiration to find your own practices when you need them.

If you’re someone who struggles to meditate, if it’s accessible for you, consider doing some vigorous exercise (at least enough to get your heart rate up) before doing the exercise below. I find that if I’ve already gotten my blood pumping, it’s easier to me to slow down and tap into my wise mind. I have less swirling thoughts that way.Subscribed

Here’s the practice in written form, or you can listen to the meditation as well here.

Begin by stopping. Allow yourself to pay attention to your breath. Observe the inhale and the exhale. Notice the temperature of your breath. Observe the rhythm. In, and out. In and out.

Make a commitment to you, right now. To taking time for you. When intrusive thoughts, or any thoughts, start to pop in, let them go.

Find a quiet place to sit, a comfy position to take, if you haven’t yet. Close your eyes if that feels comfortable for you to do so. Feel the surface beneath you. Observe its texture, and feel the weight of your body on whatever surface it is on.

Feel your limbs, wherever they are. Observe any tension you’re holding onto. Notice the sensations of your body.

Find your toes, if you’ve got some. Give them a wiggle. Notice the muscles that get involved when we wiggle our toes. See how many of them you can find.

Listen to the sounds around you. Notice the close sounds. Notice the far sounds. Notice the sound of your own breath.

Take a moment to give yourself a hug. Feel the physical sensations of touch, weight, and maybe even notice the temperatures you feel.

Relax your limbs. As you breathe in and out, do a quick body scan to notice any tension you’re holding onto, from your head all the way down your torso and into your feet. If you’d like to, breathe into the spots where you feel tension. Observe the sensations that call your attention.

Gently and being careful not to hurt yourself, tighten the muscles of your body, from your head down into your feet. Observe what it feels like to hold those sensations. See what small details you can be present to.

Relax. Relax all the muscles, and notice what differences you feel now that you’ve let go of that extra tension.

If you’re comfortable doing so, this is a beautiful time to choose a positive phrase to repeat a few times, in your head or out loud (which can be even better for grounding purposes). A message like “I am enough” or “I am grateful” or “I am loved” or anything else that resonates for you can work.

When you’re ready, if you have your eyes closed, open them. Focus your attention on an object in front of you, or near you. Notice the details of it – the color, texture, shadows. See if you can observe a detail you haven’t noticed before. No need to analyze it – just allow yourself to take it in with your eyes, with attention.

Find a new object to focus on. Observe its color, its texture. Allow any extra thoughts to float away.

And now, before you return to your regularly scheduled day, allow yourself a moment to observe how you are feeling in this moment. Consider if you’d like to take a pause like this more often in your day.

That’s it, folks. I’d love to hear if you appreciated this today, and whether you’d like more recordings like this one.

To learn more about mental fitness and mindfulness, take a saboteur assessment.

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Take good care. Keep resisting.

The Enneagram, COVID, and Me

| jamiefeinberg

What an interesting week this has been! Saturday afternoon, as I chatted with family on the phone and walked by the water in downtown Charlottetown, I received a text from my husband saying he had COVID. Oh joy! 

Given that we live in a two bedroom apartment, I knew there was a decent chance I’d already gotten it, but in case I hadn’t, we began Operation: Isolation in earnest. 

It’s fascinating, going from a fully shared space to masking in “public spaces”, avoiding each other’s presence, and carefully planning use of the kitchen or bathroom. 

The Enneagram, if you aren’t familiar with it, is my favorite tool for understanding personality, myself, and how I relate to other people. I’m a card-carrying Enneagram 1, and part of that means I am in the dependence stance: as a result, I have had to do a ton of boundary work, because my natural instinct is to accommodate other people and ditch my own plans. This is especially true with my husband. 

I began this COVID-venture assuming that it would be really tough for me to keep so much distance from my husband. Especially so because physical touch is so important to me (it’s definitely one of my love languages, if you ascribe to that). 

After a day or so’s transition though, I was pleasantly surprised to see how much I’d gotten used to the new normal. In some ways, it was freeing that I had to do my own thing, and trust my husband to do his. And in fact, I found that being in the midst of “Operation: Avoid COVID” worked really well for my rule-following 1 personality. I’ve been so busy masking and otherwise checking the boxes that I haven’t been nearly as preoccupied worrying about my husband’s needs or desires. 

Fascinating. 

In my mental fitness work, we refer to this as being a curious anthropologist. While my inner critic or judge voice might get judgmental and opinionated about my recent behavior, I’ve found it quite easy to tap into my curiosity and just observe myself and my behavior. 

And that’s something the Enneagram offers me in spades. I have names and a much fuller understanding of why I do what I do then ever before – and as you can see here, I keep learning, week by week and day by day, even more about myself and the world. 

Last night we had an informal get together for the members of our Enneagram Book Club, and it was a wonderful opportunity for community and learning. As I always do, I left feeling more confident about who I am and more aware of the ways I am both different and the same from other people. And I continue to feel gratitude that such wonderful people choose to join my programs and work with me. 

Have you ever had this kind of “curious anthropologist” experience in your own life? What did it show you? 

P.S. There are lots of ways to work with me in the new year! Do a Saboteur Assessment, an Enneagram intro, or just contact me to learn more!

Photo description: box of tissues in the foreground, with a mug of tea and a person with their setup for dealing with being sick in the distance

Photo credit: Cottonbro studio