ross and jamie

USING HABITS TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE

| jamiefeinberg

Habits. What are your habits? Do you have a good habit or two that you worked for? Do you have some habits that kind of fell into?

People who know me well tell me that my ability to create healthy habits is actually one of my superpowers! I’ve been thinking about the role of habits in my life. Without habits, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

Back at the start of 2016, after extraordinary frustrations with my health, I decided it was time to take things into my own hands. If doctors couldn’t figure out what was going on with my body, and if I was still exhausted and uncomfortable, it was time to make a change.

I knew that the one area where I was, without a doubt, not maintaining a particularly healthy lifestyle, was my exercise routine. I loved to dance, and I loved to walk, and I even loved yoga, but between financial limitations, a busy schedule, and, I can say with hindsight, some avoidance and resistance to making a commitment, I never seemed to stick to an exercise routine with any regularity.

I knew that for me to become someone who exercised regularly, for the long haul, I would need to make exercising super simple. (After all, nothing else, to date, had worked for more than a few months – even when I’d had a free gym membership provided by my job!)

So in mid-January, I woke up a half hour earlier than usual, and I did yoga poses and stretches for five minutes. I’d told myself that as long as I did something that qualified as exercising or stretching, I would count it.

The next day, I did the same, again for five minutes.

The pattern held. Perhaps five days into the practice, on a weekend, I decided I could afford a longer workout. After all, I was here anyway, and I didn’t have to run out the door.

But I didn’t change the rule for myself. I kept that five minute minimum in place.

With this simple habit in place, I started experimenting. What did it feel like to exercise for seven minutes, or ten minutes? Over time, since I was already showing up and dressed to exercises, I’d exercise for 15 minutes. Soon, a half hour was more of the norm.

I liked this routine. I felt better about myself, knowing I was doing this one thing to prioritize my health. And it set a nice tone for the day.

Eventually, I raised the bar to 15 minutes as my new minimum. And I began waking up even earlier, so that most days, I’d exercise for at least a half hour. I started an exercise program trial (a streaming service) and began experimenting with different workout programs, hoping to find one I liked enough to invest in. After experimenting for a few months, I purchased a favorite one, with strength training, and I purchased better equipment to travel with as I hit the road in an RV. Next, I started a daily walking habit. It stuck. I’ve been doing it ever since, minus a day here or there if I’m sick.

In early December 2020, after realizing I didn’t average 5,000 steps anymore (thanks, pandemic!), I decided I wanted to average at least 5,000 steps daily over the course of a week. With that knowledge and a bit of accountability in our Facebook group, I was there, and then, quite soon, averaging 7,500.

By mid-March of 2021, I was averaging more than 10,000 steps a day! I never would have thought it was possible, but the power of habits made it come to life. I made it easy, by building it on my existing walking habit, and I used a tracker and the accountability of my social media feed and my Facebook group.

Have you ever done this before? Have you successfully established a new habit? It’s something I’ve repeated many times since, and if I ever find myself getting off track, I am able to get myself back in gear.

I created a habit of batch cooking to help me successfully adapt the auto-immune protocol diet and lifestyle back in 2016, even though I was living in an RV (with a tiny kitchen). I used habits to build a morning routine that lit me up in 2018, and over time, I used habit stacking to make it more and more fun and aligned for me. I’ve used habits to develop an evening routine too. (For the record, there’s no shame in putting a chart on a wall if it helps you to meet your goals! Tired Jamie needed visual aids.) And of course, my habit of making healthy eating choices the majority of the time continues to serve me well – established when I was a kid but improved upon many, many times over my life. (And yes, there’s a place for ice cream in a healthy diet, if you tolerate it!)

I talk about habits with my clients too. One of the reasons I do mental fitness work with most of my clients is that if you don’t have a great awareness of and handle on your own triggers and know how to calm the negative thoughts that we all deal with from time to time (and some of daily), it is MUCH harder to implement healthy and productive habits.

For some of my clients, they don’t struggle with habits when they’re required by an outside authority, like a boss or the government, but they do struggle with meeting their own needs. Whatever your challenges are, whether you do well with internal or external expectations (or both), mental fitness helps a LOT!

Are you aware of the habits you have? Which ones serve you, and which habits would you like to get rid of? Are you working on any new habits this year?

Leave a comment and let me know – I’d love to hear any tips and support you in any struggles you’re having.

And if you’d like more support in creating sustainable habits that work for you, let’s hop on a call and discuss the options so you can get clear on your next steps.

Thanks for reading, and have a great week!

P.S. Have you checked out my Four Steps To Your Dream Life blueprint? It’s a great resource and concrete to help you gain clarity and create a life that you love.

P.P.S. Find yourself feeling fearful as you make these changes? You might benefit from my top tips for facing your fear.

This was inspired by an article I published on March 12, 2021.

Using frustration as fuel for the future

| jamiefeinberg

I’ve faced some challenging situations in my career. Early in the pandemic, I’d built a thriving virtual assistant business to fund our travels, and I found myself struggling to create boundaries between my work and my personal life.

One of my clients was particularly disorganized, and I was finding myself feeling stressed – and that stress was carrying over even after I’d set aside my work for the day.

It certainly wasn’t the scenario I had hoped for when I took on this client, but it’s a scenario that many of us know well.

Do you find yourself carrying the stress of your job into your nights and weekends? Perhaps even into your vacation?

Do you find it tough to turn off the worry when you turn off the laptop?

Is it hard for you to devote time to working on your goals and dreams because you’re too stressed about the here and now?

I can certainly relate. I’ve been there. One suggestion for you to try is this: use your frustration as fuel for the future.

When you catch yourself dwelling on anger or frustration, try reframing the situation by saying (out loud, in a journal, or in your head) “I’m so thankful for work that allows me to pay my bills. I’m so thankful for work that allows me to save for my future goals. This situation is helping me to build my future dream life.”

Remember that this frustration is fueling your future in multiple ways:

  • Financially – this money supports you while you dream and scheme and plan, and it may let you save enough for funding future too.
  • Emotionally – this experience is giving you visceral lessons that will stick with you moving forward. You’ll remember this feeling and when you lose momentum or focus on the work of dream life creation, remembering how much you don’t want to experience this again will get you that fire under your butt that’s needed for change. While you’re currently in liminal space, an in-between state that can be very frustrating and generate fear and anxiety, as Suzanne Stabile shares, it’s only in liminal space that we are open to learning new things and can truly experience transformation.

The power of language can’t be overstated here. It can feel incredibly awkward if you’re not used to doing this, and you’ll want to choose a phrase or mantra that feels truthful, authentic to you. But when we regularly make these types of statements, and grow more aware of our word choice, it can have a surprisingly meaningful and beneficial impact on our lives.

Rewriting our stories is truly important for growth. When I rewrite my frustration, instead of the situation being a thing that’s happening to me, feeling myself a victim, I put myself in a position of power.

We have the opportunity to own the choice we are making:

  • I choose to do this job to support my future life.
  • I do this work to feed my family.
  • I’m learning lessons that will help me in the future.

I encourage you to choose a story of empowerment. Choose to use your frustration as future fuel.

Three years ago, I had some go-to tools for managing my own stress – things like breathwork, taking walks in nature, and yoga. And I had a morning routine that served me pretty well.

Since then, I’ve gained additional tools that have been a true game-changer in my life. Using mental fitness techniques I’ve been refining with dedicated practice, I now spend very little time feeling stressed in a typical day. My resting state on most days is actually a state of contentment! And I have the tools to shift my state, quickly and, most days, easily, when I catch myself beginning an anxiety spiral. I love feeling focused and ready to ride the waves of what life hands me. It’s an empowered, confident space to be in, and I love who I have become and who I am becoming.

I’ve also gotten MUCH better at boundary-setting, and when I combine that with personal development and mental fitness work, the result has been that I spend the majority of my time feeling positive emotions like joy, clear-headed focus, confidence, empathy, and more. On days where I previously would have felt stressed, dreading the work ahead and then struggling to leave the stress behind at day’s end, I am feeling inspired, and grateful, and energized.

Making a commitment to work on yourself improves your own life, your relationships with other people, and the world. It begins when you make the decision to own your own power, your own voice, and your own role in the situations you’re in.

So I am curious, and I’d love to hear from you:

Have you been in this situation?

How did you handle it?

How are you rewriting your story today?

And if you’re ready to feel less stress, less fear, less overwhelm and more joy, focus, efficiency, confidence, gratitude…let’s chat. I’d love to help you get some clarity and confidence.

It doesn’t have to be so hard.

It’s time to dream bigger and love life more.

You deserve it, and the world thrives when we embrace who we are meant to be in it.

Note: This article was inspired by one I first wrote and shared on September 11, 2020.

Setting Boundaries For A Childfree Wedding

| jamiefeinberg

It’s that time of year – wedding season! And if you’re childfree, figuring out how to navigate creating a wedding that works for you (will kids be invited? Will people judge your decision not to have kids? Will your wedding be a reflection of your own values, or your family’s, and how do you feel about that?) can be very complicated.

I recently was interviewed by the delightful Paulette Erato for her podcast and Youtube channel, LA VIDA MÁS CHÉVERE. We talk all about my own wedding and the ways I held my boundaries to create the wedding I wanted, without the drama I wanted to avoid. Give it a watch or a listen (it’s only 16 minutes, so it’s pretty quick) and let me know what you think!

Want some support in navigating boundaries in your own life? Let’s hop on a call. I’d love to help you get some clarity and create a road map for how to move forward through the challenges (and joys) in your own life, whether you’re planning a wedding, navigating a transition, getting into the dating world, or building a business.

Listen

Watch

Childfree Weddings: Boundaries Without Drama?!

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Help! How Do I Make Friends Who Don’t Have Kids? 

| jamiefeinberg

As a childfree woman, and as a person who has moved several times in addition to my five years of full-time travel in an RV, I’ve often been faced with the task of making new friends. Experience has shown me that as awesome as my friends with children are, especially at certain periods in life, parents don’t have as much free time to hang out with me as I’d like – especially if I want some social time without kids. So read on for my top tips, gleaned from my experience establishing myself in new communities over the years. 

Before I begin, let me make a few things clear: 

One – I love children. I have zero issues with the fact that children exist. (I know that may sound snide, but it’s me being honest and forthright.) I also enjoy spending time with them, as long as a) it doesn’t involve holding or caring for babies, and b) they respect my boundaries, as well as c) they are not mine, and they go home with their families after spending time with me. 

Two – I love parents! And there are tons of awesome coaches in the world who write their content for parents. So I’m not going to cater my content to them, but I would encourage you to seek them out if you haven’t found them yet. 

Three – This article is tailored at childfree humans, but it is entirely possible that even if you aren’t childfree, you enjoy making new friends outside of the context of parenting, or you’re of an age where children have grown and moved away. Feel free to read on, keeping the intended audience in mind of course (and keeping any comments mindful of that fact too). 

So, with all those caveats out of the way, here are my top tips for making childfree friends!

  1. Go Where The Children Aren’t

Just as I’d send new parents to the playground or the library to connect with other families, your best bet when you’re on the hunt for new childfree friends is to gravitate towards places without children. So join a book club, or head to your local bar for trivia. Take a dance class or attend one of those painting classes where you’re encouraged to drink wine. Audition for a play (one with only adults!) or join your local softball or roller derby team. Learn to crochet or sign up for a DnD group (again, one with only adults!). Take a class at your local community college.

If you’re sober, meet people that way. If you love to sing, hit up the karaoke bar. Will there be plenty of people at these events who have children? That’s likely. But you’ll be on the right track by making connections with people who are socializing WITHOUT KIDS. (That means they’re able to prioritize themselves, and they’re choosing to do it at places you enjoy too!) You may find an awesome new parent friend who you hit it off with. Or you can tell them about yourself and that you’re looking to meet friends, and they may introduce you to their single friend or favorite DINK (double income, no kids) couple. 

The key? Attend with an open mind, and keep trying new things. 

  1. Share Vulnerably (But Judiciously) Wherever Possible

The way to make deep and meaningful connections with people is to share vulnerably. And yes, that means you need to be willing to share first! A small percentage of people in the world are happy to share their deepest feelings with strangers, without an invitation. But most of us wait to be asked or wait until the other person shares FIRST. 

So go into each day with curiosity, and bring a few questions in your pocket if you need ideas. 

What’s your favorite trip you’ve ever taken? 

Did you have a special person in your life who made a difference in who you are? 

If you had to eat the same food for the rest of your life, what would it be? 

Okay, so maybe that last question isn’t super deep. But each relationship needs to start somewhere. You want to ask one question and wait for a response. Truly listen and respond to what you hear. It may lead you to ask a different question you wouldn’t have thought of. And if they’re reluctant to share, that’s okay – you go first! And then ask them what their answer is. 

You’ll tend to have the most success when you do more listening than talking, but do share enough to show them it’s a safe space to share too. 

  1. Met A Potential Friend? Speak Up!

I’ve had several times in my life when I had an amazing conversation with someone. Only later, when I was reliving it in my mind or relaying the exchange to someone else, did I realize I should have asked them to meet up for coffee sometime or ask to connect on social media or something. 

So it’s now my habit to be ready to connect at any time. I have business cards on me, and I reach out to fun people I interact with on social media. I’ll tell them I’m always looking to meet new friends and I’d love to have a drink sometime and learn more about them. 

Seize the day, friends! Don’t miss out on connecting with your new best friend after the most hilarious bathroom conversation ever!

  1. Get Outside Your Comfort Zone To Increase Your Odds

See what it feels like to add a new activity to your schedule each week. Too busy or introverted for that? Make it bi-weekly or every month. 

Do a quick audit of your schedule currently and how it aligns with your priorities and your energy. (This is one of my favorite things to do with my clients!) Go through the different areas of your life and consider how much time and energy they’re currently taking up and how happy you are in that area. 

If you value great conversation and don’t have any close friends right now, set aside some time each week to move you toward that goal. While you do sometimes have to do a bit of the chit-chat thing when you don’t know someone well, these tips are a great way of getting to the good stuff and knowing whether someone is worth the effort. 

And remember, you don’t have to do this forever. Just until you’ve got a comfortable number of new friends. 

  1. Not Everyone Needs To Be Your Everything Best Friend

Perhaps you once had a best friend, but you had a falling out. Or maybe you’ve never had a best friend, and you’ve always wanted one. 

Be careful to remember that there is a place for a variety of friends in the world. If we try to slot someone into the “best friend” category and all they’re ready for is to be the “drinks after work and catch some live music” friend, we could send them running for the hills. 

Some of your friends may include: 

  • Hobby friends (they love seeing you at drag night/crochet/softball/theater/book club, but they don’t seek out or maintain a relationship elsewhere)
  • Neighbors (greet each other with pleasantries, maybe even invite you to a BBQ sometime?)
  • Work friends
  • Spiritual friends (connected from church or synagogue or mosque or your local Pagan meetup or what-have-you)
  • Parent friends (folks you love to hang out with, but that you know won’t always be available for a drink or meetup as their kids come first) 
  • Childfree friends (though some childfree folks are caregivers, many enjoy a true freedom with their schedule that can be really helpful for meeting up…and we childfree folks have a lot in common!)
  • Family friends (your family or the people who you think of as family)
  • Friends who you attend events with (key tip – don’t rule out folks in different age brackets! For instance, for me, I set my own schedule and I love to have daytime friends – sometimes retired folks have more flexibility than folks my own age)
  • Friends who will help you in a pinch
  • Your ride-or-die, do anything for you, friends

In an ideal world, you want friends in lots of categories, and some of the friends in the top categories may and can move into the lower, more connected categories. It’s normal for people to start out closer to acquaintances. Don’t be upset if most people don’t want to immediately be your best friend. 

On the other hand, I have several delightful friends who skipped several categories nearly immediately. (I have a hunch that being neurodivergent/highly sensitive/empathetic can play a role in this tendency.) So be open to that too, but make sure to avoid smothering them with your expectations. (And that’s where boundaries come in, friends!)  

If your “childfree” friend turns into your “parent” friend at some point, that’s okay too! We all go through phases in life, and we can love and value what was even if it changes. And if you struggle to maintain even a modified friendship with your friend, take heart knowing that a) you’re not alone and b) as they figure out the whole parenting thing, they may have more free time to spend with you again. Try to offer empathy and compassion to them (in addition to offering yourself self-compassion as you mourn what was). 

  1. Online Friends Are JUST As Valuable As In-Person Friends

When I moved to New Hampshire after some time away in college and working in professional musical theater, I didn’t have any friends at all and had to start from the ground up. I staged a musical revue to meet my friends, and yes, it worked! 

But as much as I loved my friends, I found that a) none of the lovely people I met that way turned into my best friend and b) most of those friendships struggled when I moved away. 

When I began getting serious about my own personal development, I sought accountability, training, and coaching online, and as a result, I met dozens of people who I had a LOT in common with around the world. 

As I traveled in my RV, I had the unique privilege of meeting many of my friends in person, and that was even more wonderful! These are people who my husband and I have a lot in common with. Even as our life situations have changed, I’ve maintained these relationships, as well as many valuable friendships with people back in NH or from my college or high school days, online. 

Especially if you’re in a small town or otherwise aren’t finding “your people” where you are, please know that your people ARE out there. You can dive into your personality studying mental fitness training or the Enneagram, or you can join some Facebook groups for like-minded people and be open to making friends there. And don’t be afraid to make the “first move” and ask for a virtual coffee chat.

P.S. I’d love to hear your top takeaway on this topic! Did I miss something? Let me know! And please share it so the childfree people in your life and those seeking friends will know that it can get better.

waiting for your chance?

| jamiefeinberg

Good news if you enjoy a bargain. I decided to offer a few sales. If you’ve been on the fence about working with me or my previous offers weren’t in the budget or quite the right fit, please check out these. (All info in the images is also duplicated below.)

I’d love to support you, and if this resonates with you, sharing helps me to connect with other people who are ready to take their next step. You can reach me at rossandjamieadventure @ gmail.com.

Spring Sale! (expire after the equinox on Monday, 3/20/2023):

One-Off Coaching/Consulting Power Session: Know where you’re headed and want some coaching or consulting on your particular question or situation? This is made for YOU.

Includes pre-session worksheet, 75 minute session, follow-up summary w/ road map and suggestions for next step

Ex. What are the next best steps for me to take in my business? Can you help me to create a schedule that’s more aligned with my values? How can I set some boundaries so that people stop expecting me to do everything? Which of these awesome hobbies/side projects should I pursue as a business?

Regular price $179, sale price $70 (more than 60% off!)

Buy Two Months of Coaching, Get One Month Free: For new 1:1 clients, purchase two months of coaching and/or mental fitness training and receive your third month of coaching free! (I am actually not allowed to promote this discounted price publicly, so message me for a free coaching session and I’ll share all the details with you!) Prefer a group session? Reach out to me for additional savings opportunities.

Free Session & Save: New clients who book their free session with me receive a credit of $200 that can be used toward any regularly priced coaching package before the end of June, 2023.

Enneagram-Curious: Considering working with a practitioner 1:1 to discover your number and learn more about who you are and why you do what you do? Know your number, but want some support figuring out what you can actually DO with that information? I’m offering an introductory price on this new offer of only $50 for an hour of Enneagram training, or only $150 for 4 sessions.

Coaching-Curious Sampler: Intrigued by mental fitness training, coaching, consulting, and the Enneagram? Not sure where to start? This sampler includes four sessions with me where you’ll be introduced to each of these modalities and explore the roles they might play in your personal development. If you’re ready for support in creating a life you love (or in embracing the one you have) but feel some blocks and are craving clarity, this sampler is designed for you. Introductory price: $250

black friday specials

| jamiefeinberg

It’s that time of year when so many of us head out into the world, in-person or virtually, for some savings as the holiday season really starts to get going.

While many of the deals out there are for physical products and indulgences, I’d like to encourage you to indulge and invest in yourself in the ultimate act of self-care.

If you’ve been curious about my life, my businesses, and what’s possible for you when you level up in your life and/or your career, today (or Sunday at the latest) is your day! And if we did a clarity call in the past but the timing wasn’t right for you to work with me, now’s your chance!

Here’s what I’m offering. If you’re ready to purchase, send an email to jamie.feinberg @ gmail.com or message me on Facebook or Instagram so we can get your purchase made and help you to get in the driver’s seat of your life ASAP.

Not sure which deal is for you? Reach out and we can discuss.

3 Amazing Black Friday Deals (expire after Sunday, 11/27/2022): 

#1 Book & Save: New clients who book their free clarity call with me by Sunday, November 27th will receive a credit of $250 that can be used toward any regularly priced coaching package before the end of the year. 

#2 One Strategy & Structure Power Session: Regular price $179, sale price $70 (more than 60% off!) Includes pre-session worksheet, 75 minute session, follow-up summary w/ road map and suggestions for next steps. Perfect for when you know where you’re headed and want some coaching or consulting on your particular question or situation. 

Ex. What are the next best steps for me to take in my fitness business? Can you help me to create a schedule that’s more aligned with what matters to me? How can I set some boundaries so that people stop expecting me to do everything? Which of these awesome hobbies/side projects should I pursue as a business?  

#3 Buy Two Months of Coaching, Get One Month Free: For new 1:1 clients, this weekend only, purchase my Two Month Positive Intelligence Package and receive your third month of coaching free! 

  • Positive Intelligence Package w/ extra month: $1200 (2 payments of $600) or $1,050 (discounted price if paid in full up front) – Estimated Value: $2,575 – $600 savings this weekend only off the $1800 typical price!
  • All of this is included:
  • 6-week, foundational mental fitness training through the Positive Intelligence program 
  • 6 weeks of access to the science-backed Positive Intelligence app, providing daily accountability, tracking, and training ($1,000 value)
  • 6 30-45 min. Zoom accountability sessions led by Jamie ($525 value)
  • 6 weeks of 1:1 55 min phone/video coaching sessions (5 sessions w/ 1 week off) ($350 value) 
  • 12 Weeks Email Access & Messenger Access (response within 48 hours Monday – Friday) ($500 value) 
  • Worksheets ($200 value) 
  • 30 Day Money Back Guarantee

Thanks for reading and for considering working with me. You can read testimonials from my past clients here. And if the cost isn’t feasible for you, please email me (jamie.feinberg @ gmail.com) to request a scholarship application – I strive to offer a couple of scholarships each month.

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or message me (jamie.feinberg @gmail.com or via Facebook or Instagram ) for purchasing or further questions.

Three Steps for Times of Stress

| jamiefeinberg

In the past month, I’ve launched my first two mental fitness groups (using the researched-based, acclaimed Positive Intelligence program and app that I’ve been studying for more than six months), conducted a performance of “O Canada” for a Canadian citizenship ceremony, completed an anti-anxiety program, completed a three month Enneagram group, been interviewed on a podcast, performed professionally as a member of Luminos Ensemble, written most of a book, coached childfree women (and people who aren’t raising children) on ways to create a life they love, and done writing and editing for clients. I’ve also dealt with the Hurricane Fiona aftermath, attended to a variety of personal and professional tasks, and made some time for fun fall activities, including getting together with friends.

One of the brilliant things about my work in the mental fitness realm has been realizing that I turn less and less things into stress in my life now. I’ve realized that rather than let all of the things in my busy life feel like things I “must” do, AKA things that cause me stress and need to be dealt with, I can instead focus on curiosity, on navigating my to-dos with joy or at least without the extra emotional weight I had a tendency to add to them. 

My mantra, which I developed in my first Enneagram group and continue to find exceptionally helpful, is this: “Breathe. Prioritize. Do what’s mine to do.” 

This mantra won’t work for everyone. You may in fact be one of those people who don’t take on other people’s tasks. Or you may need a mantra that’s more about doing and less about stopping and prioritizing for you personally to find balance in your life. But if my mantra strikes a chord, read on.

If you’re feeling stressed, unsure how to juggle all the responsibilities, both spoken and unspoken, in your life, try my three steps on for size. 

  1. Breathe: Realizing your breathing is getting more shallow? Starting to feel overwhelmed or anxious? As soon as you recognize it, stop that thought train. Focus on your breath. In, and out. Again. Stop the “what-if” and the “must-do” and tune into your breathing. 
  2. Prioritize: Once you’re feeling a bit calmer, whether from breathing or doing other mindfulness exercises, NOW you’re in a healthy space. You’re now using the part of your brain that’s capable of navigating challenges and getting curious about what’s possible. So it’s time to prioritize. What’s the one thing that you could get done today that would make your week, or even your year? What are the deadlines that will really screw you up if you miss them? Who is more important, and what are they expecting of you? Prioritize. 
  3. Do what’s mine to do: Now, and only now, it’s time to return to doing. Since you’ve stopped the auto-pilot and tuned into what matters, you can now do what’s truly yours to do. Most things I think are mine to do are, it turns out, actually not. I make a whole lot of responsibilities up. Sometimes I think I need to do work for other people. So don’t blindly do: make sure you do what’s YOURS to do today. And always, or at least whenever you can remember to stop, consider what matters, and then move forward. 

Keep swimming, my friends. You are wonderful just as you are, truly, right now. And I believe in you.

P.S. If you want support in how to follow these steps, that’s what I’m here for. Let’s hop on a free call where you can learn more about mental fitness and how to handle life’s challenges with more efficiency and joy.

Mastering Mental Fitness in The Messy Middle

| jamiefeinberg

Have you ever heard the term mental fitness? I hadn’t until recently, but now that I have, I’ve realized it’s a beautiful description for the work that I’ve been doing.

I am currently in the midst of some major hustle for my business ventures, taking on new clients, promoting the work I do to support women in figuring out what they truly want and bringing it to life, writing a book, and taking a couple of great courses. I am really busy!

At the same time, I’m taking more time off than I have in a long time. We’ve celebrated our anniversary, my birthday, Ross’ half birthday (yup!), PEI Pride Week, and next we’ll be spending some time with family.

So right now, I am pulling out every trick in the book to work as efficiently and effectively as possible. And in part, that means relying on mental fitness.

Thanks to the program I’m working on getting certified in, I’ve got lots of tools in my toolbox. I’m doing a daily walking meditation as I start my day, but I’m also integrating quick breaks to help me to get focused and make sure I’m in the best headspace possible to address challenges and make decisions.

The painful reality of being in the messy middle of building my business is that most days don’t get wrapped up with a pretty bow, and I rarely complete my to-do list (though I am getting better and better and completing my daily priorities list). Mental fitness is what keeps me in a state of wisdom, gratitude, hope, and making progress. It’s what helps to keep me eager to jump out of bed in the morning and eager to go to sleep at night (and rinse and repeat tomorrow).

What tools are you using to navigate life right now? Do you find yourself getting sabotaged by anxiety or negative voices in your head? Let’s share what we’re doing to keep going.

Mastering your mental health is a muscle. We need to practice flexing those muscles just like we might go for a swim, take a walk, or do a pushup.

Take care, friends. Especially in light of the world. Focus on what’s yours to do today, and tomorrow will get clearer too.

Weird vibes

| jamiefeinberg

So, I’ve been honest here about my recent struggles with anxiety and overwhelm and the work I’ve been doing on myself through the Enneagram, other forms of personal development, therapy, and self-care.

I wanted these past few weeks to be me getting back into the swing of things with my business after a delightful week of fun with my mom here on Prince Edward Island.

I wanted to be focused and on top of it.

And, while I think I’ve done a decent job of meeting my obligations and haven’t (I hope) missed any deadlines, I’ve been giving off vibes.

Weird vibes.

Vibes that confuse the heck out of people.

Can you possibly relate to this, or am I alone? Am I the only person who, in a state of anxiety, finds themselves making their friends and family think they’re getting the death stare when they’re actually getting the deer in headlights/confused as all heck look by someone who’s struggling to keep up?

It’s contributed to some communication challenges recently, for sure. And it’s given me plenty of fodder for therapy sessions.

But I am grateful. I’m grateful for family and friends who’ve done the work alongside me to communicate what they’re feeling, tell me when I’m bothering them, and taking care of themselves in the process.

I’m grateful for a cat who insists on all of the snuggles when I’m in a funk.

I’m grateful for a new therapist who seems like a great fit for me.

And I’m so excited for this season of concerts and my new pilot Enneagram program.

I imagine these weird vibes have something to do with my Enneagram type (I’m a 1) and something to do with all of the stress it can be really hard to avoid putting on myself.

I may not have my anxiety completely under control yet. I may have some weird vibes ahead of me. But I’m thankful for this life I’ve crafted and that you’re a part of it too.

Take care, friends.

P.S. I’m still writing a book. Any interest in getting on my email list in exchange for some previews from it? If so, please comment or reach out.