With the state of the world, some of us are inclined to huddle under a blanket. And some days, that’s what you might need. Me too. But if you’re finding yourself avoiding important things, getting stuck in a doom scroll, neglecting responsibilities, or wishing you were doing more to fight for [insert your cause of choice here], here are some tips for activating your inner doer.
Photo by Anh Nguyen of a person with light skin and black clothing and shoes leaping in midair.
Get in the zone. Turn up your favorite energetic tunes that make you want to take action.
Dance. Yes, dance. Move your body, in whatever ways you can and want to. Dance like no one is watching.
Repeat steps one and two as needed until you’re feeling pumped up and ready to do something.
Take a few breaths. Focus on the details of the present moment you’re in. Repeat an affirmation that inspires you, like “I am capable” or “I have the power to make a difference” or “I am so happy to be able to…..” or whatever makes sense for you. Not sure what to use? Think of what your wisest friend would advise you to say.
Take an assertive pose, like a “wonder woman” pose with a confident chest, and repeat that affirmation again, several times. Or just hold the pose and smile, for at last two minutes. Let the pose empower your inner doer.
Do the thing. Break it into bite-sized chunks. After each baby step, do a congratulatory dance/pat on the back/give yourself a proportional treat (praise/candy/tea etc.), and take a few more good breaths or tune into your body somehow.
If you’re still in the zone, ride it and do some more!
When you need to stop, or when you want to, see if you can do something for 2 more minutes. If that isn’t happening, celebrate your wins. And tell the judge in your head to take a break. Be proud of yourself. You’ve done well.
Return to huddling under a blanket, or do something else nourishing.
Remember that ANY progress is progress. I love when I’m able to tap into that magical flow state, where it feels like I can work forever. And what’s amazing is that we can use mindfulness tools to achieve that state, on command! The trick is breaking the old habits.
What’s your personal recipe when you need or want to go do something?
I’ll be honest. Some years, I feel super inspired to reflect on the year that’s passed and plan ahead with some goals and perhaps a word of the year for the year to come. But this is one of those years where I haven’t really been feeling it.
I think it’s because I’m tired. I’ve been focusing on resting and healing as much as I can lately after a very busy holiday season wrapped up, with a total of 8 performances (plus countless rehearsals) for various musical organizations I’m a part of in some form.
While this hasn’t looked like lounging on the couch much, it has seen me organizing my apartment and enjoying the process of decorating or decluttering. And yes, that kind of external work can be healing for my inner mind as well, though I know that isn’t true for every personality out there.
So here we are, New Year’s Day, and while I had been considering skippingb a post until I felt inspired, last night I felt myself interested in doing some reflection for myself (finally!), and I figured if I’m going to do it for myself, I might as well share some of my process with you. Perhaps it will be the inspiration you have been looking for – and if not, perhaps you’ll find something else useful to take from it.
For the past many years, nearly seven, I met weekly (or so) with a marvelous group of humans I met in an accountability group online. One of my favorite practices with this group was reflecting on the year that had passed and making plans for the future.
I’m going to teach about this process live today in my Facebook group, Crafting Your Life Adventure, but if you want to walk through it on your own, here are the highlights:
Using meditation, music, or your other favorite tools, tune into your body and clear your mind to set the table for reflection, without judgment or criticism of yourself. The goal is observation and celebration, and to let the wise part of you drive the bus.
In a journal or another safe and accessible space, list all the things you accomplished this year. Consider all the areas of your life, such as family, friends, career, home, personal goals, hobbies, spirituality, physical health, emotional health, new habits, even media or books consumed. Accomplishments don’t need to be physical, and they don’t need to be “measurable” in the traditional sense. Did you make any new friends? Did you survive another year? Did you do something you were afraid of? It can be helpful to ask a loved one we trust to help us do this with compassion if we struggle to recognize our own value or remember our own accomplishments.
Review any past lists of goals you’d set for this past year, and with gentle observation and no judgment, observe any progress you made toward those goals. If you didn’t get there, what obstacles did you hit? What lessons did you learn along the way?
Consider what you’d like to accomplish in the upcoming year. Sometimes, before I do this step, I dream up where I want to be in five years, or ten years. And that can help me get attuned to steps I want or need to take in the next year to make that happen.
As you dream up your next year of goals, again consider all areas of your life. Make sure you are tuning into YOUR goals, not society’s goals. If you don’t care about losing weight, why would you focus there? If you like renting instead of owning a home, awesome! Choose goals that are meaningful for you, with your own priorities in mind. Again, keeping sight of your goals for the future can help you here.
Consider if there’s a word that will sum up the spirit of the year you’re envisioning for yourself. Past words for me have included “Trust” and “Abundance”. Elizabeth Ryder does a lovely job of explaining how and why we might choose a word for the upcoming year. (And remember, you can always change your mind! It’s just a tool to help you remember your own goals in the busy world we so often get caught up.)
Consider working with a coach or reaching out to a friend for support if you want further clarity or a mirror for your own goals.
Consider finding a friend, coach, or joining a group for accountability in the coming year. (I lead several groups in this vein, and the new year is a great time to find one. Contact me to learn more.)
Want to start the new year off on a new foot? Why not schedule a Saboteur Assessment to learn more about what keeps you from your goals to help you feel more joy and become more effective in the new year?
When you feel complete in this process, find a way to let go of the past year and welcome the new year. It could be with a prayer or intention, a lighting of a candle and blowing it out at completion, or repeating an affirmation. A great thing to do is to end your reflection and goal-setting with gratitude for what was and for the lessons that came from it.
It’s never too late to do this type of work. Do you have a reflective practice at year end? Do you have goals for the upcoming year? I’d love to hear about it! You can comment or share with me in my Facebook group.
Congratulations on getting through this year. I’m very proud of you. I hope you are too. Wishing you all the best in the year to come.
P.S. I still have space for a few more participants interested in learning more about themselves and the patterns of their personality (and how to break free of them) using the Enneagram. Reach out to sign up, or join me for an intro!
Photo credit: photo of an evening with moon, tree, and water reflection by Pixabay.
This has been a week here, friends, and perhaps it has been for you too. I’m grateful for most things being status quo. But I’ve been sick for nearly three weeks now (way better, but still dealing with fatigue and a voice that hasn’t fully returned), and the extra nuisance of all of it has combined to reduce my motivation to 0 most of the time.
If you can relate to this at all, I’m sorry. And here’s what I’m doing, or at least trying to do, when it’s an issue for me.
Consistency is Key
Just as I know building consistency in my business is key, even in the face of illness or a lack of motivation or feeling like the world is on the brink of collapse, I also know that consistency is key in my personal life. Maintaining whatever habits you can reaps mega benefits. Dishes washed today mean less dishes to wash tomorrow. Taking a shower and keeping my weekly family or friend check-in or getting out for a daily walk are habits you’ve probably worked hard to establish. If possible, resist the urge to cancel it all and crawl into a hole. And if you do cancel it once, do everything possible not to cancel a second time.
Find a Safe Space to Vent
Don’t keep the whirling and swirling emotions in the bottle that is your own mind, my friends. Whether a safe space looks like a journal or a chat with a like-minded family member or friend or a talk with a therapist or a group coaching or accountability session, we all need the opportunity to get our feelings out.
Use Your Creativity
This can actually qualify as a way to vent as well. Maybe the way to stop a panic spiral for you will be to paint a messy painting or dance around your living room or write a short story or poem. Maybe it’s coloring or taking out your Legos. Or maybe it’s whipping up a new concoction in the kitchen.
Get Into Your Body
One of the best antidotes for endless thoughts and feelings in your head is to get out of your head (and heart) and into your body. Find a yoga video, or take a local class. Do some polyvagal exercises or do some jumping jacks. Punch your pillow or chase a ball with your pet. Or practice mindfulness exercises to stay present.
Practice Gratitude
Name five things you’re grateful for before bed. Thank a loved one for a kindness, recent or in the past. Count your blessings like you could count sheep before bed. Even when things look bleak, I always have a lot of things I can be grateful for and present to, right now. I hope you do too.
Offer Yourself Grace
More than anything else, whether you do any of these or not, please offer yourself grace. You are doing the best you can right now. And if that comes easily, try offering grace to someone else too. But more than anything, know that you’re really doing the best you can today. And you can celebrate that.
Sending lots of love your way. Hang in there. And I’d love to hear your suggestions too!
P.S. One of the best tools I’ve found to offer grace to myself and others, with a bonus of providing opportunities for venting in tough times, has been my Enneagram work. I’m currently recruiting both Enneagram newbies, ready to learn more about themselves and why they do what they do, as well as those who already know their number who’d like to join my Enneagram Book Club. And if you don’t have a clue what the Enneagram is, I’m offering an intro workshop (free) soon that you can sign up for.
A friend of mine is entering a transition period in her life, and she asked me for suggestions of books for motivation and dealing with change.
I didn’t answer right away, because I wanted to sit with it and revisit my favorites.
By the time I’d created my list, I realized that other people might want these book suggestions too!
Here are six books you might enjoy. Have you read any of them, and if not, which are you inspired to tackle first?
Untamed by Glennon Doyle – Glennon’s book motivated me to get more deliberate about diversifying my social media feeds, a small move that’s led to me learning so much! Her stories share her own journey. Expect lots of self-revelation, humor, with a healthy dose of intersectional feminism and inspiration in the mix. I loved it, and it really resonated with me. She’s been through a lot of change under challenging circumstances, and she gets very real and raw.
The One Thing by Gary W. Keller and Jay Papasan – I’ve read a lot of great self-help books and advice for business, but The One Thing has had more of a lasting impact on my daily and weekly work than most others. The authors will motivate you to get clear about what matters and take deliberate steps with that in mind. Your giant to-do list is SO much less important than knowing the most important item (or perhaps two or three max) on your list for today, and for this week, and for this year. It’s very relevant for entrepreneurs and employees alike, but I’d argue it’s even more important in your personal life!
Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist – In all honesty, my advice to my friend was to read this “or anything by Shauna Niequist”. This was the first book I ever read that I felt I could have written myself. I’ve read it three times, and I will keep returning to it, over and over again, because it helps me to reflect, consider what’s most important, and remember my values and current vision for my life. I found it therapeutic and challenging. She navigates changes and surprises as she transitions into a new phase of her life. Her older books are great too, though for where I am now, Present Over Perfect is key. I’ve got her next book pre-ordered and I can’t wait.
The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron – You know, when you were that little kid who’d happily color and explore with other little kids at preschool? If you go back far enough, almost all of us had a time where we created without judgment or expectation. If you take nothing else from this incredible three month journey into getting to know yourself better and rediscovering your inner creative, you should consider “morning pages” and “artist dates”. I continue my morning pages practice daily and love weekly artist dates whenever possible too. Trust me, if you haven’t done this yet, this is a brilliant introduction to self-help or return to creativity (or both).
The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin – This is a newer book for me – I discovered it several months ago and was so impressed with it that I’m incorporating it into my coaching. There are lots of personality tests out there, but this one is both easy to comprehend quickly and also extremely actionable. And if you find it useful, she’s got lots of additional resources (and an app that lets you connect with others about it).
The Road Back To You and The Path Between Us by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile (the latter by just Suzanne) – I’ve been geeking out on Enneagram podcasts lately. If you’re not familiar with the Enneagram, it’s an ancient road map for living, basically. Think personality test, but one where you identify yourself (mainly based on what motivates you) and then can use that knowledge to help you navigate the world and become a healthier, happier version of yourself. I’m learning so much about myself through these books and podcasts that I’m actually recruiting a group of folks to do an Enneagram group program with me – basically, a book club where we’re all doing some self-reflection as we learn about the Enneagram. (I’m actively looking for volunteers, and cost is super low for the materials!)
What are you reading right now? Have you read any of these? Do you want to join my Enneagram cohort, where we watch videos and learn about the Enneagram and discuss it with other people?
I’d love to hear from you – and thanks so much for reading!
Make purchases via our Amazon website links. There is no additional cost to you, and a portion of the proceeds can support our travels. Begin your Amazon search here.
Make other purchases using our affiliate links. Signing up with Dosh is a great way for everyone with a smartphone to support us, and we also have options for aspiring virtual assistants as well as occasional and full-time RVers to save money.
Subscribe to our blog, as well as perhaps InSearchOfAScoop.com, and recommend our work to your friends and family.
Take music or theater lessons (group or private) from us, either in person or via Skype at TinyVillageMusic.com.
Crafting The Life You Want: A Practice in Living 