mindset

New Year, New Who? 

| jamiefeinberg

Two practices helping me right now

This week has been busy, and honestly, this year so far has been too. I’m feeling myself simultaneously caught up in the energy of a new year, all the feelings of possibility (real or imagined) that that entails, while also facing a particular brand of challenge and potential stress that has historically been a major issue for me. 

I have so much to be grateful for, to be clear. In addition to the majority of areas of my life feeling fairly secure and in a beautiful place, I’m well aware of the privileges I have in even being able to make these plans and work on these types of challenges, when so many nearby and around the world are worried about the essentials – am I safe? Do I have a place to sleep tonight? Is there food on the table? Is there a table? Are my loved ones okay?

But as you may relate to, it’s still quite easy to get caught up in your own challenges, even when they’re not as challenging as someone else’s. 

One of the things I’ve been working on this week, because of this particular “challenge” I referred to above, is on two things, as I described in my Enneagram Book Club meeting last night. 

The first thing is that I’m working to keep my attention on all the good stuff, the majority of the time. Focus on gratitude for all the stuff that’s pretty darn awesome in my life and even in the lives of others. I have so much to be grateful for, in so many areas. And while there are times when I get troubling news or am handed a surprise and need to spend some time processing my emotions, most of the time in my day to day, I get to choose where my focus is. And if I choose joy (as I have often spoken of), it’s likely that my day, and the day of those I encounter, will be better because of it. 

The second, complementary thing I am working on right now, is being able to work on the “challenge”, the hard thing, without bringing negative emotions into it. This is something that my Enneagram work helps me with, but I think it’s my mental fitness practice, more than anything, that has me in a great mindset for this. Instead of anxiety about the outcome of what I’m doing, or anger at the situation I am facing, I’m exploring what it feels like to be curious and to just get stuff done. Can I set aside the critical and sabotaging voices in my head when they pop up, and instead return to the next task at hand? Can I marvel at my ability to get things done in a crisis instead of wasting my energy getting upset? Can I trust that the better use of that energy is in the doing? 

Part of this, for me, is that I need to get comfortable being uncomfortable. I don’t like the uncertainty and lack of control I’m feeling about this situation right now. But when I’m honest with myself, I’ve never been a fan of change, and I really like to feel in control. And control is an illusion, my friends. So I’m working on embracing liminality and thanking the universe for a chance to get uncomfortable and learn more. To learn to work productively through discomfort, without adding drama. 

One of the things my mental fitness work has taught me is that the wise part of my brain can be in “go mode”, or exploring options, or creating new solutions, without any negative emotions in the picture. And when I take that approach, what could feel daunting or overwhelming can instead feel more like I’m a little kid on a playground, making a sandcastle or peeking behind a tree or creating a new club for my friends to join. 

So if you’re also in the midst of a big “challenge”, whatever that may be, I want to encourage you. It’s okay to be uncomfortable and in transition. Those spaces offer us beautiful opportunities for growth, if we choose to see them that way. (And it’s okay if it takes time to get there.). 

Though you may not be able to change the situation, consider if a shift in focus, to a wiser part of you, might bring you some peace, or at least help you work more efficiently so you can sooner take a break with some tea or get a hug from a friend.

I’m grateful for mindfulness practices and self-awareness cultivated with the Enneagram that are making all of this feel more attainable.

I’m also grateful for the opportunity of a new year, where we can keep reevaluating who we are and our place in the world. 

Thanks for reading, and have a beautiful week! 

P.S. A great practice for the new year could be to book a Saboteur Assessment to help you shine a light on what’s keeping you from your best work and being your most authentic self. You can also reach out to me to join my next Enneagram study, using Suzanne Stabile’s incredible curriculum, so that you can learn more about yourself in the company of like-minded people. 

Hurricane Fiona

| jamiefeinberg

We’ve experienced hurricanes before. Living in New England, we’d catch the tail end of them occasionally, and in Florida, we experienced one in an RV, prepped with a go bag, near a bath house, and fearing we’d get COVID if we had to flee. (Luckily for us, it fizzled out by the time it was near us.)

Suffice to say, though, that when we moved to Prince Edward Island, Canada, we didn’t expect to encounter hurricanes.

I’ve been becoming more and more aware of my “prepper” tendencies. They increased significantly when COVID-19 came into focus in 2020, and finding the balance between prepared and hoarding can be trickier than you might think.

As we got wind a hurricane might come out way, a part of me felt it would be healthier to just use the food we had at home. And when my car started acting up, it meant I would have to shop on foot. But I am so glad I headed out Thursday for essentials, and Friday for a few more I couldn’t fit in the first trip.

Hurricane Fiona was no joke. We lost power Friday night, and as of this writing, I think our street is probably still days from it returning. And when 95% of the island lost power and nearly everyone it seems lost trees or gardens or suffered damage, gratitude isn’t hard to come by.

So I continue to offer gratitude. For a radio. For enough food. For access on foot to places to charge devices. For kind islanders offering food for a donation or a coffee. For all the privileges that set us up well for this. For past experiences that strengthened me in following my intuition and preparing accordingly.

I am about to launch a pilot of a mental fitness program that’s been transformative. I use the skills multiple times throughout the day, especially under our current stressors. Due to our power situation, I haven’t finalized the details in a pretty way. But if you’d like to be one of the first to try the program out with me, I’d love to hear from you. Leave your email below, or contact me at Rossandjamieadventure @ gmail.com for the details. If you’re ready to take charge of your life and move the needle on getting out of your head and into a meaningful life that lights you up, let’s chat. I’d love to send you more info and learn about where you are at and what you’re looking for.

And wherever you are, stay safe, and take care. You’ve got this.

The Three Things Keeping You From Your Dream Life

| jamiefeinberg

Take a moment. Breathe. Check in with yourself, right now.

Are you content? Are you happy with life as it is?

I know the world is a lot. A LOT. But when you look at your own life, day to day, if you don’t have a resounding “yes, I’m happy!” under it all, I’d like to challenge you to look deeper.

No, I’m not selling a miracle elixir. I’m not curing cancer or growing money on trees. But I am sharing a workshop where I’ll share the three elements that I believe are keeping you from your dream life. It’s based on my experience in setting goals, accomplishing them, and learning to make the deliberate shifts required to bring my dream life to fruition.

Intrigued? I’m presenting the workshop, The Three Things Keeping You From Your Dream Life (And What You Can Do About It) for FREE in my Facebook group at 11 a.m. ET/8 a.m. PT and on Instagram at 3 p.m. ET/12 p.m. PT. (Replays for both will be posted after the live events.)

And if you’re ready for more clarity and a support system to help you create the life of your dreams, use my code EARLYBIRD to save big on my course and group coaching program, Crafting Your Life Adventure.

P.S. I was recently interviewed for The No Frills VA Podcast! We talk all things full-time RV, adventuring, digital nomad life, how I built my VA business from scratch and why and how I’m focusing on a coaching business now. You can watch the interview here or listen here, or wherever you find your podcasts. Give it a listen and let me know what you think!

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Supporting Our Blog

We are so thankful for your support of our blog and our careers! You can help by doing any or all of the following:

  • Purchase one of Ross’ albums! 
  • Take Ross’ online ukulele course!
  • Become a patron of our work!
  • Make purchases via our Amazon website links. There is no additional cost to you, and a portion of the proceeds can support our travels. Begin your Amazon search here.
  • Make other purchases using our affiliate links. Signing up with Dosh is a great way for everyone with a smartphone to support us, and we also have options for aspiring virtual assistants as well as occasional and full-time RVers to save money.
  • Subscribe to our blog, as well as perhaps InSearchOfAScoop.com, and recommend our work to your friends and family.
  • Take music or theater lessons (group or private) from us, either in person or via Skype at TinyVillageMusic.com. 

Why I’m Taking A Pause

Sunrise
| jamiefeinberg

Taking a pause. It’s something we all do, right? We pause before starting to sing, hearing the intro notes to mark our place. We pause before waiting for our turn to enter a conversation (or waiting for a good time to interrupt). We pause before falling asleep.

But have you built intentional pauses into your day or your week? There’s a reason that professors take sabbaticals, students get a winter or summer break, and at least the white collar desk jobs get vacations. Heck, there’s also a reason our representatives have breaks between sessions, but that’s a whole other story.

Last week I defend the practice of a tea break, but whether that excites you or not, pausing is essential to wholeness and fulfillment.

Yes: taking a pause is essential. If we’re considering a career shift, or feeling like we’ve overcommitted ourselves, or if we’ve been under a ton of stress lately (whether it’s family stress, job stress, health stress, or the state of the world), a pause is what gives us a chance to hear our intuition.

How many times have you noticed that it’s when you’re taking a shower, or walking the dog, or visiting a museum, that you get an idea for a new project or an angle to solve a problem. I get downloads about new courses during yoga, and ideas for blog posts while listening to podcasts.

I hear a lot of people say they don’t have time to pause. They see my life as so different from theirs, whether it’s that I work from home, set my own hours most of the time, or don’t have children. But I’m also a problem-solver (which is also how I created this life), and that means I LOVE a good challenge!

So let me help you find some free time.

Can you wake up ten minutes earlier so you can drink a cup of coffee or tea in silence, or do a few stretches?

If you’ve got young kids, can you designate five or ten or fifteen minutes of a nap time to reading a book, just for you?

If you have a commute, can you spend part of it listening to favorite music, or traveling in silence, or repeating a positive mantra, or even journaling if you’re on public transit?

Can you meditate for ten minutes before bed, or before you start your nightly Netflix show?

If you’re still struggling, leave me a comment with your challenge, and I’ll share my suggestions. And if you have a favorite way to take a pause, please comment and share it with all of us!

Take it easy, and have a great week. And if you’re an aspiring adventurer too, join me in my group, Crafting Your Life Adventure, for tips on taking a pause and for walking tips and inspiration this month.

______________________________

Supporting Our Blog

We are so thankful for your support of our blog and our careers! You can help by doing any or all of the following:

  • Purchase one of Ross’ albums! 
  • Take Ross’ online ukulele course!
  • Become a patron of our work!
  • Make purchases via our Amazon website links. There is no additional cost to you, and a portion of the proceeds can support our travels. Begin your Amazon search here.
  • Make other purchases using our affiliate links. Signing up with Dosh is a great way for everyone with a smartphone to support us, and we also have options for aspiring virtual assistants as well as occasional and full-time RVers to save money.
  • Subscribe to our blog, as well as perhaps InSearchOfAScoop.com, and recommend our work to your friends and family.
  • Take music or theater lessons (group or private) from us, either in person or via Skype at TinyVillageMusic.com. 

Hello Childhood, My Old Friend

| jamiefeinberg

A mistake that I used to make, prior to my personal development journey and even early within it, was to think that I had a “normal”childhood, without much to complain about, so didn’t need to bother examining my childhood for “childhood wounds”, “limiting beliefs” or issues from my past that might explain my current struggles. (Quotes to note my discomfort with the idea.)

Oh my goodness – how wrong I was! SO MUCH of what I struggle with today is related to my childhood. Does that mean I had bad parents? Nope! On the contrary, I think I had great parents, and I’m super lucky for all of the blessings I had and have, and for how supportive and attentive they were while also fostering my independence.

But the deeper I go in my personal development, the more I see issues popping up that make MUCH more sense when I put them in the context of my childhood.

Issues around food insecurity, where I get oddly possessive about my food? The recipe was a passion for food + seeing emotional food eating modeled + a few episodes of a family member eating my leftovers. Hello, food obsession!

Over the top anger when someone doesn’t suffer the consequences of their actions? Oh, of course, I remember, that’s something I saw play out as a kid.

Some of my struggles and personality quirks can’t be as directly tied to one incident, but it’s easy to find examples of the behavior that contributed to my mindset on that issue.

It is 100% normal for our childhood experiences to shape how we interact with the world. And we can’t change the past. But it is our choice how we choose to move forward and act today.

Personal development is the super power that gives us the tools to act more deliberately.

Does this resonate for you? Join my new Facebook group or contact me for a free exploratory coaching session, and let’s dive more deeply into this!

P.S. Two HUGE things in our world this past week. Ross’ new holiday ukulele album (it’s gorgeous!) is available for pre-order (you’ll pay half price if you purchase before it drops on December 7th, and you get a few tunes on the spot), and Ross’ online ukulele course is now available for purchase! Both are just in time for the holidays, whether as a gift for a friend or yourself. Please take a look and consider purchasing and/or sharing with your friends and family!

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Supporting Our Blog

We are so thankful for your support of our blog and our careers! You can help by doing any or all of the following:

How To Make The Holidays Work For You

Jamie and Ross snuggle on the couch
| jamiefeinberg

It may be cliche at this point, but it’s that time of year when it’s common to take time to be grateful. I know I’m not alone in having a dedicated gratitude practice, and if you haven’t yet tried it, whether for November or any time of year, I definitely recommend it.

A lot of people are struggling with the holidays and how to celebrate this year. Although many people have already been celebrating holidays during COVID virtually (Jewish people in particular have had several holidays come and go at this point), Thanksgiving is such an “American” holiday in a lot of ways that it affects the majority of us in some way, rather than certain religions or parts of the country.

As a coach, I’m noting two simultaneous threads or thoughts popping up:
a) An extra awareness of gratitude – if I’m healthy, if I don’t have COVID-19, if my family is safe, if I’m employed etc. I know I have a LOT to be grateful for right now
b) It’s so frustrating/I’m so angry/I’m so sad because I want to be spending the holidays with my family/without masks and social distancing but I’ve gone virtual and/or made major modifications and changes due to COVID-19

It’s okay to have mixed feelings.

It’s okay to have moments when you feel wrapped up in the love of your family/friends, whether it’s a partner or child or parent in your bubble or a virtual meal full of love and conversation and good memories.

It’s okay to in the next moment feel anxiety that your parents are going to do x, or feel resentment that you can’t do your usual holiday celebration, or feel jealous of y, who lives with their family while you are living and celebrating alone.

I hope that during this challenging time, you will give yourself forgiveness. We are all carrying so much right now.

If someone else’s life looks glamorous on social media, remember that that is just the tip of the iceberg that you’re seeing. The glamorous surface life may be only a passing moment in a chaotic day or week or month.

Here are a few things I recommend making time for this week, whatever your plans are. (Perhaps you’ll have some extra time since you won’t have your usual holiday commute to the in-laws?)

  1. Make a gratitude list. This can take many forms, and all are valid. Start or end each day by acknowledging five things you’re grateful for. Start a gratitude journal, whether it’s a big beautiful book or a note on your phone. Begin your Thanksgiving meal/Zoom call/family walk by having everyone share something they are thankful for this year.
  2. Make time for exercise. Personally, I think stuffing myself is kind of part of the fun of Thanksgiving – even if I don’t leave the main meal feeling overstuffed, I love indulging in rich fall foods in the meals and days that follow. Most of us, at least in the corporate sector or education, are also lucky enough to get time off this week. It can be tempting to use that time to relax on the couch, but making time to take a walk or stretch or lift some weights will give you more energy for the festivities and encourage you to enjoy your indulgences more, without guilt.
  3. Carve out time for yourself. I love my family, but as an introvert who isn’t always her best self at large family gatherings, I’ve worked hard over the years to set boundaries for myself. For me, part of a successful holiday season is making time for my morning routine and making sure I have time to relax on my own. If you’re having trouble seeing blank space on your calendar, even if it’s virtual gatherings, take a moment to block out a morning or an hour for you each week. It will help you to be at your best when you are with your family too.

Whatever your plans are this year, I hope you’ll take this advice to heart. No one has your best interests at heart in the same way you do, so go create the holiday schedule that will light you up and invigorate you.

Take care, and Happy Thanksgiving!

P.S. Thank you so much for your support of this blog throughout the year! If you appreciate it, we’d love for you to share it with a friend or support us with one of the methods below. Thanks, and have a great day!

______________________________

Supporting Our Blog

We are so thankful for your support of our blog and our careers! You can help by doing any or all of the following:

  • Purchase one of Ross’ albums!
  • Become a patron of our work!
  • Make purchases via our Amazon website links. There is no additional cost to you, and a portion of the proceeds can support our travels. Begin your Amazon search here.
  • Make other purchases using our affiliate links. Capital One 360 is one everyone can take advantage of to save money! Signing up with Dosh is a great way for everyone with a smartphone to support us, and we also have options for aspiring virtual assistants as well as occasional and full-time RVers to save money.
  • Listen to, subscribe and review our theater comedy podcast, Finishing The Season!
  • Subscribe to our blog, as well as perhaps InSearchOfAScoop.com, and recommend our work to your friends and family.
  • Take music or theater lessons (group or private) from us, either in person or via Skype at TinyVillageMusic.com. 

Returning to Quiet

| jamiefeinberg

“True happiness is found in seemingly unremarkable things. But to be aware of little, quiet things, you need to be quiet inside. A high degree of alertness is required. Be still. Look. Listen. Be present.”

Eckhart Tolle

I’ve been returning to quiet lately.

About a month back, after several weeks of feeling anxious and unsettled, I decided my morning routine was due for an upgrade. The timing coincided perfectly with Sarah Jenks’ announcement of her #sacredstart program, so I went for it.

I’d built up a morning routine I loved over a few years, and it looked something like this:

Journaling; educational reading; taking a walk for at least a half hour outside, usually with an educational or inspirational podcast; having a healthy breakfast

With Sarah Jenks’ inspiration, my new morning routine looks something like this:

Journaling; educational reading, taking a walk for at least a half hour outside, usually with an educational or inspirational podcast; setting up a beautiful altar with elements from nature; aromatherapy (roll-ons due to cat and a small RV); pulling an inspirational card from my Sacred Garden deck; meditation; a cup of tea with oat milk; sacred reading

The extra elements only add 15-20 minutes to my morning (and yes, some days I wish I had that extra time back, at least a little bit), but they have TRULY made a world of difference in my mood. Anxiety is practically gone. I’m feeling so much more grounded and empowered.

What we experience is our desperate search for happiness where it cannot be found…[the key] was not lost outside ourselves. It was lost inside ourselves. This is where we need to look for it.

Father Thomas Keating

We live in such a busy and demanding world. When we add into it extra stresses, whether it’s facing racism or sexism or homophobia or ableism, whether it’s COVID-19 or bullying co-workers or toxic family or food insecurity, it can feel impossible, or nearly so, to stay grounded or find happiness.

I love this quote, because it reminds me that we can run around the world chasing happiness and still never find it. You won’t find lasting happiness in a bottle of wine or a pint of ice cream. You won’t find it in a night at the movies or a night with a lover. You won’t find it playing with your kid or visiting your parents.

You find it in yourself.

We have to set aside time each day and each week for quiet, for stillness, for going inside and listening to what there is to hear. That’s where you’ll find the inner knowing that tells you the next step in your business, the next step for your family, and the next step for you. If we never get quiet, we’ll never hear it.

Growing up, my favorite book was The Secret Garden. My parents started reading it to me when I was only six, and I connected so much with the young orphan child, feeling out of her element, transported from being the center of attention (at least from servants) to being abandoned and out of her element, to exploring outside and discovering a world of nature and life she’d never known.

I certainly didn’t grow up as a rich, neglected kid in India, but there was something about the journey Mary makes, from selfish and self-centered to an integrated, full and beautiful life with nature and friends and her new and chosen family, that I felt so comforting.

Mary discovers a secret garden that’s been neglected, and it’s not until she does a lot of inner work that she’s able to find the key to it. It’s in doing further work on herself that she eventually finds the door and is able to enter into it.

We all have a secret garden waiting for us. To find the happiness in that garden, we need to make time for quiet and reflection. Grab a journal, spend five minutes in solitude, do a walking meditation. Get quiet, and see what the whispers offer you.

______________________________

Supporting Our Blog

We are so thankful for your support of our blog and our careers! You can help by doing any or all of the following:

  • Purchase one of Ross’ albums!
  • Become a patron of our work!
  • Make purchases via our Amazon website links. There is no additional cost to you, and a portion of the proceeds can support our travels. Begin your Amazon search here.
  • Make other purchases using our affiliate links. Capital One 360 is one everyone can take advantage of to save money! Signing up with Dosh is a great way for everyone with a smartphone to support us, and we also have options for aspiring virtual assistants as well as occasional and full-time RVers to save money.
  • Listen to, subscribe and review our theater comedy podcast, Finishing The Season!
  • Subscribe to our blog, as well as perhaps InSearchOfAScoop.com, and recommend our work to your friends and family.
  • Take music or theater lessons (group or private) from us, either in person or via Skype at TinyVillageMusic.com.