joy

A poem for today 

| jamiefeinberg

Today I read news, both positive election results (well done!!!) and the sadness and resignation of friends who are out of options, recognizing they can no longer afford health insurance, which means they can no longer afford to see their doctors, pay for their prescriptions, or maintain any illusion that they have a safety net for the inevitable expenses of health care due to the for-profit nature of medical care in the United States. 

Photo of a sunset over the boardwalk by Jamie Feinberg

People share their best tips for eating on a budget and making due if food stamps are cut or gone. 

Politicians on the wrong side of history pledge to publish people who stood up for themselves and used their power in NYC and elsewhere. 

The United States is no longer just a country living under the threat of daily gun violence in schools and other community gathering places. It is also a country at war with itself, destroying any sense of safety and community and any illusions its children and others had. 

Those who followed the rules aren’t safe. No one is safe, though the lightness of your skin can help. 

I exchange stories with friends who are socking away food for the winter, like squirrels and chipmunks, unsure what the winter has in store or how it will end. 

In one hand, I hold gratitude for my amazing family, friends, and neighbors. I work to stay present to the textures my hands touch, to the warmth of a hug, to the creaminess of the oat milk in my coffee. In the other hand, I work to break free of the inner critic, telling me I am not doing enough, and the sometimes paralyzing anxiety about where we are headed and what could be next. 

I sit here, warm under blankets and a cat who adopted us in Florida ( once a fun and affordable home for our RV, now a place we’re not sure we’ll ever return to again). 

I remember that whatever our own health challenges are, whatever our own financial struggles may be, we are extraordinarily grateful to be in Canada, to be here, right now. 

As you write your own poems, remember the joy. I hope you can find the moments of calm, the moments of love, the moments of beauty. I hope you never give up and that you never give in. 

You are worthy. And I will do what I can to support you. Love your neighbors, friends. 

When mind games are kicking in and you’d like support learningto control your thoughts and stop the self-sabotage, take a saboteur assessment. 

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My favorite Enneagram resources

The joy of mundane moments

| jamiefeinberg

Photo of the ocean from a brief pause I took last week (photo credit: Jamie Feinberg) 

On Tuesday, I accomplished all of my must-dos in the morning, so when Ross asked me if I wanted to join him in doing any errands when he went out, I said yes, any chance you’d go with me to the local thrift stores in my hunt for some shelves and picture frames? It’s a task I’ve both wanted to do and also put off doing for months, in part because this time of year, I want to be outside, not in a thrift store. 

Ross said yes. And while many times when we’re out and about we get ourselves into vacation mindset, going out for treats or exploring new spots, this was just an ordinary afternoon. We picked up medications at the pharmacy. We visited three different thrift shops, having some minor successes along the way, though they were small. I had anxious moments and fun moments, and I enjoyed the thrill of the hunt. And when one of the thrift stores was only taking cash, it was kind of exciting that Ross had some cash and we were able to keep our purchases to that budget. 

By the time we got home, we were tired, but Ross told me how much fun he has adventuring with me. Even when we’re doing mundane things. 

YES! How often do we go off on a new and exciting adventure, perhaps spending lots of money along the way, when all we’re really seeking is to do something different than yesterday and make some memories with the people we care about? 

It was such a lovely reminder that yes, even when we don’t spend money, and yes, even when we don’t do anything but buy a couple of home goods, we can have a wonderful time, just being together. 

I hope there’s a version of this in your life. Maybe you find a solo library trip to be a treat. Maybe you appreciate the joy in a walk with a pet or a friend, even when you aren’t saying anything. Maybe you have a workout buddy or cherish your solo time cleaning. 

There are no wrong answers, friends, except that each and every moment can be an invitation to joy. 

Does this resonate for you? I know from my Enneagram work that some people can truly benefit from learning to appreciate the mundane. If you’d like to learn more about how this does or doesn’t apply to you, doing so in community can be a beautiful thing. 

Be well, take good care of yourself, and take good care of each other. Stand up, speak out, use your privilege wisely, and take time to tune into what you need.

Recent articles from me you might enjoy: 

Focus on joy (and keep resisting)

Rest and retreat

Finding and creating community

Let good enough be good enough

Creating space, allowing stillness

Anxious for the future? Quiet and control those hyper-vigilant thoughts

Finding gratitude while facing fascism

Enjoy the sun

10 ways your mind is messing with you

Joy as resistance

Tell me when I can pre-order your book!

Pockets of joy

| jamiefeinberg

I’ve been navigating some of the most challenging work I’ve faced since moving to Canada lately, and it’s exhausting. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. So much so, that trying to come up with a topic for this article in the midst of my schedule and all of that feels like a lot. 

So I thought I’d share some of the joy I’ve gotten to experience over the past month or so instead. Maybe this will feel more like when I started my Ross and Jamie Adventure blog back in the day, when we focused on sharing our travels across the United States in a 25’ RV. (Head here if you want to be notified when that book is ready.) Regardless, I hope you enjoy my share about where I’ve found some pockets of joy lately. 

First photo taken on my walk by the hospital of the ocean, with beautiful greenery in the foreground and blue sky; second photo of pink flowers spotted at the Dunes Gallery (both photos by Jamie Feinberg)

Earlier this week, I had an appointment for bloodwork. I’d done some hard things already that day, so my first thought was, let’s go get ice cream afterward! (It’s my favorite way to treat myself, after all.) But a wise voice in my head said, I think I’d enjoy walking by the water on the path near the hospital even more than I’d enjoy ice cream. WOW. My sage voice was loud and clear. And such wisdom. So after I got my blood drawn, I walked across the street and walked along the ocean, enjoying breezes in the tall trees and absolutely gorgeous views. What a treat! (And since I’m currently being more mindful of what I eat right now, how nice that a pretty walk is a zero calorie treat!)

Connecting with friends and family is such a wonderful gift in my life. I’ve had lovely conversations, shared hugs, gone out for ice cream and taken walks with friends. Especially when things are challenging, it is so helpful to have people who are happy to listen and support you. I’m especially grateful for the work I do to maintain and grow my friendships when these more challenging situations arise. 

PEI raspberries are absolutely amazing (and iconic, thanks to Anne of Green Gables), and yet my first summer here, I couldn’t find them anywhere and missed the season entirely. Ever since, I make it my mission to find them, because it’s my favorite fruit and local is absolutely best. I’m so grateful for the friends who help to keep me informed or even share their own bounty with me! Last year I picked raspberries at a friend’s house, and this year, a friend shared some of her first raspberry crop with me. What an amazing gift!

Last weekend, I went to one of our local favorite places for ice cream, Cricker’s Creamery, which does amazing homemade baked goods and has tons of gluten-free options. I went there twice in a row because raspberries arrived. On the first day, I had what may have been the best ice cream concoction I’ve ever had – or at least of the flurry variety. My vanilla soft serve had fresh PEI raspberries mixed into it, with hot fudge on top. What an absolutely perfect delight! On day two, I was a little bit disappointed that the raspberries were now frozen, not fresh. But still – where else can you get local raspberries with ice cream and hot fudge? So much joy. 

Photo of my vanilla soft serve swirled with fresh PEI raspberries and topped with hot fudge (photo credit: Jamie Feinberg)

Other moments of joy lately: 

  • Snuggling my amazing cat
  • Time with my husband
  • Supporting mental fitness clients & spending time with my Enneagram groups
  • Visiting the Dunes Gallery, home of my favorite gardens on PEi
  • Driving through PEI National Park
  • Gazing at the ocean 
  • Attending wonderful events with friends, some planned, and some serendipitous, like when I showed up for an impromptu beach visit to find friends I’d just seen at another event were here (with another couple), and they invited me to join them!

The world is so much. I hope that in between your phone calls, donations, raging at the world and doing all the regular tasks to maintain and sustain a life, that you’re able to offer yourself opportunities to pause, do some good self-care, and find pockets of joy. 

Recent articles from me you might enjoy: 

Let good enough be good enough

Creating space, allowing stillness

Anxious for the future? Quiet and control those hyper-vigilant thoughts

Finding gratitude while facing fascism

Enjoy the sun

10 ways your mind is messing with you

Joy as resistance

Tell me when I can pre-order your book!

Joy as Resistance

| jamiefeinberg

I recently read the beautiful book The Serviceberry, and in it, author Robin Wall Kimmerer (perhaps you were also enthralled by her book Braiding Sweetgrass?) says “I’ve always believed that those who have more joy win”. 

Photo of Black caregiver and child, feeling joy, by Sasha Kim

This reminded me of the many quotes and talks and books I’ve been encountering from Black female (some also 2SLGBTQIA+) writers, sharing the idea of rest or even joy as resistance. I’ll confess I haven’t given bell hooks their due yet (I KNOW, I have work to do), but contemporary writers and speakers usually attribute this line of thought, in part, to bell hooks. 

I’m writing this after spending an exhausting hour and a half processing the news, reaching out to my reps, and posting to Facebook, where I am finding it increasingly challenging to spend any time without feeling miserable. I think it’s partly the addictive algorithm, partly the way we’ve gone from seeing friends’ posts to seeing advertisements, and partly that the news is just so abysmal and divisive right now. 

After all, people are dying, people are being deported, culture is being canceled. In addition to executive orders doing horrendous things, including consolidating power to a level never before seen and clearly setting us up for a dictatorship and lying to the world about Ukraine and their president, I read a post from a trans man and pastor (and friend of a friend) who, after having a passport affirming his male gender identity for the past ten years, renewed his passport only to see himself listed as female (“F”) on the new passport. Other posts are showing the dichotomies, where some nonprofits are no longer providing gender-affirming care and others (as well as the Army) are proceeding as usual, ignoring the orders from above. 

So yes, I’m fighting. I hope you’re doing what you can to also support human rights, wherever you are. 

But I want to also encourage you to follow Robin’s suggestion. Find more joy. Explore joy. Joy is rebellion, resistance, and revolution! 

We resist when we enjoy a movie or a dinner or a walk with our same-sex partner. 

We resist when we savor a cup of coffee or tea while looking at a beautiful view. 

We resist when we hug, or dance, or laugh. 

We may be in extremely challenging times, but if you’re able to stop and read this, I’ll bet you’re also able to find joy. Smell a candle. Hold someone’s hand. Make eye contact with a stranger. Savor a delicious food. 

One benefit of making time for joy, in addition to resisting the misery that some out of touch billionaires would want for us, is that feeling joy is also grounding. All of these exercises I mentioned, when entered into with an intention of connection, wholeness, or just full presence, help to ground us in the here and now. 

And when we keep ourselves regulated and ground ourselves in the present, we are healing ourselves, and helping ourselves to show up in the best ways we can for ourselves, for our families, for our communities, and for the world. 

Monday I offer my Mental Fitness for Musicians class again. It’s absolutely a joy to be able to help musicians to recognize the sabotaging thoughts that get in the way, both in making music and in life and career as a musician more generally, and learn tools to work through the fear, the anxiety, and become more effective musicians, and more JOYFUL musicians, as a result. 

If you know a musician who’d benefit, or you’re one yourself, I’d love to see you there. 

But wherever you are, and whatever you do, I want to encourage you to be present to joy, and cultivate it. Even when the world collapses around us. If you’re finding joy, you’re winning. 

Take good care, friend. 

The Practice of Finding Joy Daily

| jamiefeinberg

We’re on Day 10 of our self-imposed quarantine, and we are healthy and I think handling things about as well as can be expected right now. Since last week’s blog, we’ve been getting a lot done:

  • We signed up for, recorded, edited and submitted a lecture & questionnaire as part of a new course on working from home.
  • We sent out an email to our ukulele list with a video lesson and all the materials needed to learn to play the song “Wagon Wheel”.
  • We created and completed about 2/3 of an “In Case of Emergency” doc that had been on our to-do list for several years, in the event that one of us becomes incapacitated and the other person has to step in for them.
  • We had lots of phone and video calls with friends and family.
  • We had a virtual Happy Hour with some of Jamie’s co-workers.
  • Ross played a lot of Animal Crossing.
  • Jamie took four yoga/meditation classes with great instructors.
  • Ross edited several podcasts & Jamie completed a week’s worth of virtual assistance for her clients.
  • We researched online food ordering options, put in our first orders & made decisions about how we’ll be proceeding in the near future.
  • We had a game night and played Sabacc (from Star Wars).

So despite lots of mind wandering and wondering about how we and those we love will be able to get through this, we’ve still been quite productive, and while everything is still surreal and frustrating and frightening, we’ve got a clear road map to follow as we move forward. And I think that’s the key for us. By having clear goals, a schedule (especially for Jamie) and taking time each day for gratitude, I think we’re going to get through this. And I hope and pray that you will too.

How are you getting through this? Any suggestions you’d share with others?

Take care and be well.

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