This past week was a beautiful juxtaposition for me. Maybe it was for you too? I had family in town, and I was so privileged to spend time with them, to go out to eat or for a drive and even to a speakeasy, and otherwise to run around playing tourist and share my beautiful local community with my mom and my sister. 

Photo of my sister, my mom, myself and my husband seated on an antique couch at a local speakeasy, Reddins

At the same time that I got to spend time with them, I was aware of the devastating cuts that have passed the House and could potentially pass the Senate of the United States in the guise of a “big beautiful bill” that will actually take away the protections built into our constitution (in irrevocable ways) and steal essential resources, including environmental resources, from the poor and middle class to give tax breaks to the wealthy. 

If I had allowed myself to focus on the potentially horrendous future ahead of us, I wouldn’t have been able to enjoy my time with my family. Thankfully, I’m well-practiced in mental fitness techniques, and even with the extra stressors that can pop up when interacting with family (due to old childhood patterns) or in being in new environments, I felt very equipped to enjoy my time with them. 

So today, I thought I’d explore the saboteur that can often be at play when navigating these challenging times, as well as some ways to combat those thoughts and patterns as they arise, in hopes that it can help you too. 

In the words of Positive Intelligence, “Saboteurs are deeply ingrained patterns of thinking and behavior that limit your potential and hinder your ability to perform at your best. They are internal critics that operate based on fear, self-doubt, and negative self-talk. Saboteur patterns can take various forms, such as the Avoider, the Hyper-Achiever, the Victim, and more. Each Saboteur has a unique way of sabotaging your wellbeing and success.”

Vigilance itself can be a very wise characteristic. Businesses, individuals, families, and other organizations benefit from people with the skill to be paying attention to future possibilities and preparing for them in a wise way. 

But the Hyper-Vigilant Saboteur is perpetually alert, constantly scanning the horizon for any threats and anxious about what can go wrong. The Hyper-Vigilant Saboteur becomes chronically stressed, and by doubting yourself and other people, the saboteur makes sure that you aren’t able to be present, relax, or enjoy the present moment. 

While these saboteurs originated as a way to protect us and keep us safe in childhood, when we overly rely on one type of behavior, it becomes disproportionate and gets in the way of our ability to enjoy life and to be efficient and effective. The Hyper-Vigilant Saboteur can look like the “boy who cried wolf”, getting anxious about EVERY possibility and potentially missing the true, actual dangers that deserve our focus and attention. 

A 24/7 news cycle is built for those of us with a strong Hyper-Vigilant Saboteur. The news media focus on the negative and seize on our fear to keep us watching, reading, and tuning in. This makes us suspicious of other people and question our own safety and our own ability to weather the storm. You may feel skeptical or anxious or even constantly worrying thanks to this saboteur. 

If you find your own anxious thoughts getting in the way of your ability to enjoy your present company, there are a few things you can do to help the situation: 

1. When you catch the anxious thought patterns repeating themselves, stop and let those negative thoughts go. Recognizing that these are your saboteurs and your saboteurs’ limiting beliefs is the first step. (This is what we study and practice in my mental fitness programs.) 
2. Take a ten second break to hyper-focus on your senses. This is mindfulness, but with extra focus. Feel the sensation of the wind in your hair or observe the inhale and exhale of your breath. Command your mind to be fully present on the colors or textures in front of you. (I teach some of these techniques when we complete a Saboteur Assessment. Consider joining me!) 

Here are some other ideas for conquering your Hyper-Vigilant Saboteur: 

• Practice mindfulness – take a walk, meditate, do a body scan, mindfully enjoy a drink or a meal
• Practice being present and discerning between true threats and the dangers you perceive. Take a breath and pause before deciding how to proceed in each situation
• Find ways to challenge worst-case scenario thinking: consider alternatives, consider what’s likely,, or even follow your worst-case scenario thinking and then imagine how you’d handle it or how realistic that is
• Ask a friend, or a coach, or a therapist for support and their perspective
• Move from worrying and anxious thoughts to taking meaningful and specific actions

Though by adulthood, the neural pathways of our saboteurs are well-worn and well-honed, we can learn to create new neural pathways and build new habits using the wiser part of our mind. We are more than our saboteurs. And the more we do this work, the more joy we can find in the everyday moments, like a meal with those we love. 

Recent articles from me you might enjoy: 

Enjoy the sun

10 ways your mind is messing with you

Joy as resistance

Take a saboteur assessment or learn more about working with me

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