In brainstorming what to explore here, some weeks it just comes to me. Other weeks aren’t as obvious. Today, I asked myself what I needed to hear right now, and that’s how the title came to me: let good enough be good enough.
Photo of assorted flowers and trees in a neighborhood park by Jamie Feinberg
According to the Enneagram, a tool for personal growth I’ve been studying for more than five years now, some people (known as Type 1s) heard a very particular message when they were children – “it isn’t okay to make mistakes”. In spite of the best intentions, so often, in our families of origin, we manage to internalize the idea that there’s a problem if we make mistakes. So as a protective mechanism, some of us become perfectionistic. And yet when we do so, this overfocus on perfecting ourselves, perfecting those around us, or being a great role model for others means that we lose ourselves along the way, becoming less confident and unbalanced as a result, and more obsessed with control, repression, and worry.
But we don’t need to be a “type 1” for us to pick up the message that it isn’t safe for us to make mistakes. Maybe it’s because of the color of our skin that we’ve internalized that message, or maybe we have a neurodivergent brain that isn’t understood by those around us. Maybe a domineering parent or an unsafe environment at school or at home contribute to it.
One of the things, therefore, that I benefit a lot from, and that you may too, is remembering that most of the time, it’s best to let good enough be good enough.
In my mental fitness work, we say only 20% of tasks, at most, need us to do them perfectly (or close to it). For the remaining 80% of tasks, the healthy and reasonable thing is to let good enough be good enough.
Especially when I’m feeling stressed or navigating a lot of extra potential stressors already, I know I need to remember and heed this message.
Here are a few ways I’ve “let good enough be good enough”. I hope these inspire you and you’ll try it on for size:
- Have time for a fancier meal? On the fence about whether it’s worth it to put in the extra effort? Keep it simple. Your body and mind will thank you later.
- Not sure your wording of that email is perfection? Is the email being sent to someone who already knows your work? Can you afford to have an imperfect word or two in this email? Let it go, and send it.
- Struggling to choose the right outfit for a night out? Consider the “needs” involved, and then just choose something. It doesn’t need to be the best outfit you’ve ever worn. Let good enough be good enough.
- Prioritize cleaning the most highly-trafficked areas and the most visible ones in your living space. No one but my husband and I have to put up with a messy bedroom, so it isn’t usually a priority.
- Showing up to a meeting less prepared than usual is still (usually) better than not showing up. If it’s still a value add, I show up – and I include a brief apology if it feels called for.
- Didn’t accomplish all my goals today? Didn’t get outside as much as I intended? Didn’t get to finish that project? No point in beating myself up about it. Let it go – I did good enough (or well enough) today.
Does this resonate with you too? Is “let good enough be good enough” helpful for you? And if not, what do you think is the message you’d benefit from hearing or repeating right now? And if you know your Enneagram number, has that helped you to get clear about this?
P.S. If you don’t know your number but would like to learn it in the company of others on their own personal journeys of growth, learn more about working with me here. And if you know your number but are still seeking community, I lead both an Enneagram Book Club and mental fitness groups.
Recent articles from me you might enjoy:
Creating space, allowing stillness
Anxious for the future? Quiet and control those hyper-vigilant thoughts
Finding gratitude while facing fascism
Crafting The Life You Want: A Practice in Living 