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We can do hard things

| jamiefeinberg

Hi friends. I am so grateful that this past weekend I had the opportunity to leave Prince Edward Island and visit Nova Scotia. I enjoyed the change of scenery, indulged in some of my favorite foods, and discovered beautiful places to walk and be.

But the thing I am most proud of is that I tried something new to me, something that I knew would be imperfect (very challenging for an Enneagram 1 especially!) and yet something that I knew would be a valuable experience to me regardless. 

I’m a barbershop chorus director, and the event I attended Saturday was a regional day of workshops and barbershop education. To kick off our afternoon, we had the opportunity to perform with Synergy, an outstanding quartet who set the record for the best score in our area at their first competition together. Their members include mentors and coaches of mine (and friends!). 

I’m relatively new to singing in a quartet, and I knew that the opportunity to try to hold my own singing with such an experienced (and fun!) group of performers would be one I shouldn’t miss. I knew I’d kick myself if I did. And while most people participating in the event sang one of four “area songs” that all of us have learned to sing together over the years, we also were given the option to sing one of the songs from Synergy’s repertoire. 

I thought the latter would be more beneficial to me, so I decided to teach myself the tenor part of “Popular”, the song from Wicked. I am familiar with the musical (in fact, I saw Idina Menzel in her last week on Broadway), but I had never seen this arrangement of the song and had never sung the tenor part until a few weeks ago. 

Getting up in front of a conference room full of people can be nerve-wracking in itself, but doing so to sing a song I’d only started learning a few weeks back, with a group of people I’d never performed with before, on a very challenging arrangement no less, was a pretty audacious plan. And yet I knew that if I gave it my all, I’d be extremely proud of myself, regardless of what happened. 

I knew it was an opportunity to show my chorus, and others from my area, what it looks like when we step outside of our comfort zone. To show how fun it can be to try something new. To show that it’s okay to risk failure, to make mistakes, and to commit wholeheartedly to what we know will end up being an imperfect effort, in spite of our best attempts. 

So for all those reasons, and for the fact that singing barbershop is FUN, I got up there. And while it was indeed imperfect, I have heard nothing but praise and excitement from the people who watched me perform over the weekend. And when I listened back to my performance, I was grateful that it sounded pretty good. I’m grateful I can look past the imperfections and just enjoy the memory of the special experience and my efforts. I went for it, and I am still pretty happy with my whirlwind of a performance. 

The wonderful author and inspiration that is Glennon Doyle often talks about how we can do hard things on her podcast, and she’s even written a book called We Can Do Hard Things. It’s a phrase that my chorus’ current coach reminds us of periodically, and it’s a mantra her chorus has embraced as their own. 

Sometimes hard things are things that we choose to do, for our own betterment, or to enjoy the journey and the challenge. Sometimes hard things are foisted upon us, and all we can hope for is that we can ride the waves and make it to the other side. 

Can you congratulate yourself for a “hard thing” you’ve gotten through, chosen or not? I’d love to hear your story. 

Standing up to fascism can be hard. Using our privilege can be hard. Choosing how to prioritize our energy and our efforts when life is already challenging enough and then the world feels like that much more is a tricky balancing act. 

But we can do hard things, friends. 

And if you’d like some more tools to help you in tackling the challenges of life, I have a lot of tools that can help you to do that work and tune in. Let’s start with a saboteur assessment. 

Work with me

My favorite Enneagram resources 

The joy of mundane moments

| jamiefeinberg

Photo of the ocean from a brief pause I took last week (photo credit: Jamie Feinberg) 

On Tuesday, I accomplished all of my must-dos in the morning, so when Ross asked me if I wanted to join him in doing any errands when he went out, I said yes, any chance you’d go with me to the local thrift stores in my hunt for some shelves and picture frames? It’s a task I’ve both wanted to do and also put off doing for months, in part because this time of year, I want to be outside, not in a thrift store. 

Ross said yes. And while many times when we’re out and about we get ourselves into vacation mindset, going out for treats or exploring new spots, this was just an ordinary afternoon. We picked up medications at the pharmacy. We visited three different thrift shops, having some minor successes along the way, though they were small. I had anxious moments and fun moments, and I enjoyed the thrill of the hunt. And when one of the thrift stores was only taking cash, it was kind of exciting that Ross had some cash and we were able to keep our purchases to that budget. 

By the time we got home, we were tired, but Ross told me how much fun he has adventuring with me. Even when we’re doing mundane things. 

YES! How often do we go off on a new and exciting adventure, perhaps spending lots of money along the way, when all we’re really seeking is to do something different than yesterday and make some memories with the people we care about? 

It was such a lovely reminder that yes, even when we don’t spend money, and yes, even when we don’t do anything but buy a couple of home goods, we can have a wonderful time, just being together. 

I hope there’s a version of this in your life. Maybe you find a solo library trip to be a treat. Maybe you appreciate the joy in a walk with a pet or a friend, even when you aren’t saying anything. Maybe you have a workout buddy or cherish your solo time cleaning. 

There are no wrong answers, friends, except that each and every moment can be an invitation to joy. 

Does this resonate for you? I know from my Enneagram work that some people can truly benefit from learning to appreciate the mundane. If you’d like to learn more about how this does or doesn’t apply to you, doing so in community can be a beautiful thing. 

Be well, take good care of yourself, and take good care of each other. Stand up, speak out, use your privilege wisely, and take time to tune into what you need.

Recent articles from me you might enjoy: 

Focus on joy (and keep resisting)

Rest and retreat

Finding and creating community

Let good enough be good enough

Creating space, allowing stillness

Anxious for the future? Quiet and control those hyper-vigilant thoughts

Finding gratitude while facing fascism

Enjoy the sun

10 ways your mind is messing with you

Joy as resistance

Tell me when I can pre-order your book!

Finding Gratitude While Facing Fascism

| jamiefeinberg

As I watch my home state taking away the organization and the budget responsible for arts funding throughout the state, I offer gratitude for all of the incredible arts opportunities I’ve gotten to be a part of, either as a participant or as an administrator or artist. 

Photo of a person with outstretched hands in gratitude, surrounded by greens of nature on a cloudy day by Kourosh Qaffari

As I watch clinics and programs closing and states restricting abortion and gender-affirming care, I offer gratitude that for the medical professionals who’ve offered such support to those who have needed them in the past, even in the face of hostility or misunderstanding. I offer gratitude that some friends and family have gotten out of the United States or to friendlier states, hopefully to a better climate that will support who they are. 

As I learn of ICE sweeping immigrants off the streets (so often the ones who are on legal paths to staying here and often pillars of their community), I offer gratitude for the citizens who have offered themselves as human shields and sounded the alarm that has sometimes been enough to keep their community members safe, even if for one more day. 

As I watch democratic leaders being beaten, arrested or detained, in front of a silent, watching group of Republicans, I offer gratitude for these democrats willingness to lead and stand up for all of us, even in dark and dangerous times. 

As I receive challenging news for people close to me, I offer gratitude for the blessings they got to experience related to these struggles (or prior to them). 

I offer gratitude for the breeze on my face as I walk by the water, even as I process challenging thoughts. 

I offer gratitude for work opportunities and for amazing friends, family, partner and chorus members, even as I look forward to leaving work on a slow day. 

I offer gratitude for beautiful flowers, for another morning, another chance to connect, another chance to learn and grow. 

I continue to strive to follow the often wise advice around accepting what I cannot change. I continue to prioritize what matters while striving to let the rest of it go in this moment. That may be a thought process once a day, or once every minute. But it’s wise advice that, when practiced alongside my other mental fitness work, I know will result in more peace of mind, more ease, and feeling more joy. 

I don’t know what to do right now. But I know that doing nothing isn’t the answer. I know taking care of myself, resting, regulating myself, is key, so that I can then with a clearer head prioritize what is mine to do. 

Feel overwhelmed? Stressed? Mad? Scared? Use your grounding tools, your mental fitness work. Then, and only then, can we shift into that wiser part of us that is so good at seeing the forest through the trees. 

How are you handling your feelings right now? Your thoughts? Your emotions? It’s wise to do the work to get to that high-level, forest view. And it’s completely understandable if that isn’t feeling attainable right now. 

So take a walk, if you’re able to. Take a shower. Get some sleep. And then, with a clearer head, let’s go stand up for human rights and fight fascism. 

P.S. If you’d like to learn more about yourself in community with others, join my Enneagram program, or set up a time to learn more about mental fitness (which you can study in community or 1:1 in coaching with me).

Recent articles from me you might enjoy: 

Anxious for the future? Quiet and control those hyper-vigilant thoughts

Enjoy the sun

10 ways your mind is messing with you

Joy as resistance

Tell me when I can pre-order your book!

Five steps for activating your inner doer

| jamiefeinberg

With the state of the world, some of us are inclined to huddle under a blanket. And some days, that’s what you might need. Me too. But if you’re finding yourself avoiding important things, getting stuck in a doom scroll, neglecting responsibilities, or wishing you were doing more to fight for [insert your cause of choice here], here are some tips for activating your inner doer. 

Photo by Anh Nguyen of a person with light skin and black clothing and shoes leaping in midair. 

  1. Get in the zone. Turn up your favorite energetic tunes that make you want to take action. 
  2. Dance. Yes, dance. Move your body, in whatever ways you can and want to. Dance like no one is watching. 
  3. Repeat steps one and two as needed until you’re feeling pumped up and ready to do something. 
  4. Take a few breaths. Focus on the details of the present moment you’re in. Repeat an affirmation that inspires you, like “I am capable” or “I have the power to make a difference” or “I am so happy to be able to…..” or whatever makes sense for you. Not sure what to use? Think of what your wisest friend would advise you to say. 
  5. Take an assertive pose, like a “wonder woman” pose with a confident chest, and repeat that affirmation again, several times. Or just hold the pose and smile, for at last two minutes. Let the pose empower your inner doer. 
  6. Do the thing. Break it into bite-sized chunks. After each baby step, do a congratulatory dance/pat on the back/give yourself a proportional treat (praise/candy/tea etc.), and take a few more good breaths or tune into your body somehow. 
  7. If you’re still in the zone, ride it and do some more! 
  8. When you need to stop, or when you want to, see if you can do something for 2 more minutes. If that isn’t happening, celebrate your wins. And tell the judge in your head to take a break. Be proud of yourself. You’ve done well. 
  9. Return to huddling under a blanket, or do something else nourishing. 

Remember that ANY progress is progress. I love when I’m able to tap into that magical flow state, where it feels like I can work forever. And what’s amazing is that we can use mindfulness tools to achieve that state, on command! The trick is breaking the old habits. 

What’s your personal recipe when you need or want to go do something? 

Recent articles from me you might enjoy: 

Enjoy the sun

10 ways your mind is messing with you

Joy as resistance

Take a saboteur assessment or learn more about working with me

task ahead seem Impossible? Try smaller steps

| jamiefeinberg

Hi friends. In the face of an increasing number of horrendous headlines, including (as I write this) the news that transgender service members were referred to as “dishonorable” by the Supreme Court and the ban on transgender people serving stands, I am going through waves of emotions. 

But after reading those headlines, I forced myself to walk to the mailbox, and you know what? I felt joy. I felt gratitude. The sun was overhead, it was warm enough for me to walk outside without a coat on, the birds were chirping, and so many beautiful flowers were blooming. 

So in thinking about what to write today, I’m reminded of the progress I’ve made on my book – as well as the realization that I’m still potentially years from seeing it out in the world. 

You know something kind of unique about me? Before I wrote this book, I nearly wrote another book’s first draft. Yes, I have at least ¾ of a memoir about a particular summer of my life in professional theater sitting in the cloud. 

Something that I’ve learned about myself, in my Enneagram and in my mental fitness studies, is that I as amazingly creative as I am, when I take on a really big project, and when I don’t have accountability, and when it’s for me, and not for someone else, I may not finish it. It’s not something I’m proud of. It’s my “shadow side”, as they say. You could also call it my “restless saboteur”, or what it looks like when I am in “low 7” according to the Enneagram. 

Not doing anything with this book is just one of many of these projects. And this will probably blow the minds of some people who know me and can rattle off all the things I’ve accomplished along the way. But I think that for me, when we’re talking about how to take a book from first draft to finished product, there was really a feeling of being daunted by what I didn’t know. Combine that with the realization that this particular book didn’t actually have a clear purpose for me in my career, and I let it sit on a shelf instead of focusing my energy on sorting out next steps. 

But this time, my friends? This time will be different. 

I think I first announced to the world publicly that my book Crafting Our Life Adventure would be published years ago. I even created this sales page so you could sign up to learn when the book is ready. (Still works!)

But you know what? Publishing a book is a giant task. And it’s tough to stay motivated on a giant task when you’ve got several or dozens of other tasks, many of them urgent, demanding your attention. 

You may have heard this advice before: 

“How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” 

Photo of tiles with the letters spelling “try baby steps” by Brett Jordan

And so while last time, I let myself get pulled toward easier and/or more pressing wins than publishing my book, this time is going to be different. 

I started out with the knowledge that I needed to sort out what the steps actually will be for me to publish a book. 

So over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been asking friends and friends of friends for all of their tips.  

After I have all that research “done”, or at least feel MUCH more informed than before, I’ll be using the research to create a checklist or road map for myself, outlining the next pieces of the puzzle and giving me smaller wins that I can celebrate along the way. 

And finally, I will begin taking daily, or at least weekly, steps to realize my vision: to have my book published and out in the world.

This process is actually a process I repeat over and over again in my life. If you want to read it for yourself and reference it in the future, you can. I call it the Four Steps To Your Dream Life Blueprint, and you’ll find it here. I’ve used it throughout my life to accomplish my goals, and I hope it helps you too. 

And it can work for anything, I think. 

But if that’s too much, to look at all four steps toward a big vision, just focus on breaking your task up into smaller pieces. 

Find taking a shower too hard today? Break it up into smaller steps. Gather your towel and toiletries. Gather clean clothes. 

Want to reach out to your rep but not sure what to say when you call? Break it up into smaller steps. Write a list of bullet points to cover, or even write yourself a script. Practice saying it out loud to yourself. 

Know you need to do some batch cooking, but feel overwhelmed? Break it up into smaller steps. Grocery shop with a few meals in mind, or roast some veggies and rice and a protein that will make it easier to make dinner from there. 

So I hope that’s helpful. At minimum, breaking a daunting task into small steps is really useful for me. And if you have the brain space to think about the big picture right now using your wise mind, feel free to grab a copy of the Four Steps and give it a try. 

And if your brain isn’t allowing you to tap into your wiser self right now, I 100% get it. And if you’d like some support in doing so, schedule a Saboteur Assessment with me. I’d love to help you learn to let the sabotaging thoughts, the ones that get in the way of living a life you love, go. 

Take good care. Keep resisting. 

Joy as Resistance

| jamiefeinberg

I recently read the beautiful book The Serviceberry, and in it, author Robin Wall Kimmerer (perhaps you were also enthralled by her book Braiding Sweetgrass?) says “I’ve always believed that those who have more joy win”. 

Photo of Black caregiver and child, feeling joy, by Sasha Kim

This reminded me of the many quotes and talks and books I’ve been encountering from Black female (some also 2SLGBTQIA+) writers, sharing the idea of rest or even joy as resistance. I’ll confess I haven’t given bell hooks their due yet (I KNOW, I have work to do), but contemporary writers and speakers usually attribute this line of thought, in part, to bell hooks. 

I’m writing this after spending an exhausting hour and a half processing the news, reaching out to my reps, and posting to Facebook, where I am finding it increasingly challenging to spend any time without feeling miserable. I think it’s partly the addictive algorithm, partly the way we’ve gone from seeing friends’ posts to seeing advertisements, and partly that the news is just so abysmal and divisive right now. 

After all, people are dying, people are being deported, culture is being canceled. In addition to executive orders doing horrendous things, including consolidating power to a level never before seen and clearly setting us up for a dictatorship and lying to the world about Ukraine and their president, I read a post from a trans man and pastor (and friend of a friend) who, after having a passport affirming his male gender identity for the past ten years, renewed his passport only to see himself listed as female (“F”) on the new passport. Other posts are showing the dichotomies, where some nonprofits are no longer providing gender-affirming care and others (as well as the Army) are proceeding as usual, ignoring the orders from above. 

So yes, I’m fighting. I hope you’re doing what you can to also support human rights, wherever you are. 

But I want to also encourage you to follow Robin’s suggestion. Find more joy. Explore joy. Joy is rebellion, resistance, and revolution! 

We resist when we enjoy a movie or a dinner or a walk with our same-sex partner. 

We resist when we savor a cup of coffee or tea while looking at a beautiful view. 

We resist when we hug, or dance, or laugh. 

We may be in extremely challenging times, but if you’re able to stop and read this, I’ll bet you’re also able to find joy. Smell a candle. Hold someone’s hand. Make eye contact with a stranger. Savor a delicious food. 

One benefit of making time for joy, in addition to resisting the misery that some out of touch billionaires would want for us, is that feeling joy is also grounding. All of these exercises I mentioned, when entered into with an intention of connection, wholeness, or just full presence, help to ground us in the here and now. 

And when we keep ourselves regulated and ground ourselves in the present, we are healing ourselves, and helping ourselves to show up in the best ways we can for ourselves, for our families, for our communities, and for the world. 

Monday I offer my Mental Fitness for Musicians class again. It’s absolutely a joy to be able to help musicians to recognize the sabotaging thoughts that get in the way, both in making music and in life and career as a musician more generally, and learn tools to work through the fear, the anxiety, and become more effective musicians, and more JOYFUL musicians, as a result. 

If you know a musician who’d benefit, or you’re one yourself, I’d love to see you there. 

But wherever you are, and whatever you do, I want to encourage you to be present to joy, and cultivate it. Even when the world collapses around us. If you’re finding joy, you’re winning. 

Take good care, friend. 

Together to do the hard things

| jamiefeinberg

Hi friends. While I am feeling so grateful for the sun entering my room and to be safe and warm on this cool January day, my heart is heavy with the quick pace of horrendous news coming at me and worries about what this will mean for friends, family, and the larger community in the United States and around the world. 

(Photo of a gray blue surface of a rock, by Pixabay, who told me this is a hard thing.)

I wanted to share a resource I found helpful today, as well as a new opportunity I’ve created as my own personal contribution. 

Robert Reich shared an excellent article yesterday with ten suggestions for what you can do now in the face of all of this. 

His top ten includes great detail, but the quick overview is below: 

  • Protect undocumented members of your community
  • Protect LGBTQ+ members of your community 
  • Help officials in your community Trump or his allies are targeting for violence
  • Participate in or organize boycotts of companies that are enabling the Trump regime, including X, Tesla, and those advertising on X or Fox News
  • As you’re able, fund groups litigating against Trump
  • Spread the truth (and keep doing so!)
  • Urge those you know to avoid propaganda outlets, and consider helping them to wean themselves off them and find other news sources
  • Push for progressive members in your community and state
  • Encourage worker action
  • Keep the faith – remember what a small win Trump had; never give up 

If you’re like me, you may be finding it really hard to stay motivated right now – even completing the mundane tasks of life or work can be really challenging in the face of these potential stressors. 

In addition to my weekly Refuel & Renew program (found in my group Crafting Your Life Adventure) and all of my coaching and mental fitness offerings, I’m going to try a new offering, called Together To Do the Hard Things. If this is something you’re interested in but the timing isn’t good, please let me know what times would be better for you. I know it can be much easier to motivate ourselves to do the hard things when we do them together. (Many of our neurodivergent friends have learned this trick – it’s called body doubling!) So if you’d like to have a little accountability and support, whether it’s for paying your bills, or writing your reps or washing the dishes, join me Monday at 6:30 p.m. ET or 7:30 p.m. AT. If it’s popular, I’ll keep offering it. You can keep the screen on or off, and I’ll offer support and coaching to those who’d like it as time and space allow. 

I’m looking for more ways to make a difference in the world. If this would be helpful for you or for others you know, please share it with those you care about. 

Take care, and I hope to see you soon. 

P.S. If you’d like more personalized support in understanding how you get in your own way and in laying out a roadmap to creating a better life, please schedule a Saboteur Assessment Feedback Session. 

New Year, New Who? 

| jamiefeinberg

Two practices helping me right now

This week has been busy, and honestly, this year so far has been too. I’m feeling myself simultaneously caught up in the energy of a new year, all the feelings of possibility (real or imagined) that that entails, while also facing a particular brand of challenge and potential stress that has historically been a major issue for me. 

I have so much to be grateful for, to be clear. In addition to the majority of areas of my life feeling fairly secure and in a beautiful place, I’m well aware of the privileges I have in even being able to make these plans and work on these types of challenges, when so many nearby and around the world are worried about the essentials – am I safe? Do I have a place to sleep tonight? Is there food on the table? Is there a table? Are my loved ones okay?

But as you may relate to, it’s still quite easy to get caught up in your own challenges, even when they’re not as challenging as someone else’s. 

One of the things I’ve been working on this week, because of this particular “challenge” I referred to above, is on two things, as I described in my Enneagram Book Club meeting last night. 

The first thing is that I’m working to keep my attention on all the good stuff, the majority of the time. Focus on gratitude for all the stuff that’s pretty darn awesome in my life and even in the lives of others. I have so much to be grateful for, in so many areas. And while there are times when I get troubling news or am handed a surprise and need to spend some time processing my emotions, most of the time in my day to day, I get to choose where my focus is. And if I choose joy (as I have often spoken of), it’s likely that my day, and the day of those I encounter, will be better because of it. 

The second, complementary thing I am working on right now, is being able to work on the “challenge”, the hard thing, without bringing negative emotions into it. This is something that my Enneagram work helps me with, but I think it’s my mental fitness practice, more than anything, that has me in a great mindset for this. Instead of anxiety about the outcome of what I’m doing, or anger at the situation I am facing, I’m exploring what it feels like to be curious and to just get stuff done. Can I set aside the critical and sabotaging voices in my head when they pop up, and instead return to the next task at hand? Can I marvel at my ability to get things done in a crisis instead of wasting my energy getting upset? Can I trust that the better use of that energy is in the doing? 

Part of this, for me, is that I need to get comfortable being uncomfortable. I don’t like the uncertainty and lack of control I’m feeling about this situation right now. But when I’m honest with myself, I’ve never been a fan of change, and I really like to feel in control. And control is an illusion, my friends. So I’m working on embracing liminality and thanking the universe for a chance to get uncomfortable and learn more. To learn to work productively through discomfort, without adding drama. 

One of the things my mental fitness work has taught me is that the wise part of my brain can be in “go mode”, or exploring options, or creating new solutions, without any negative emotions in the picture. And when I take that approach, what could feel daunting or overwhelming can instead feel more like I’m a little kid on a playground, making a sandcastle or peeking behind a tree or creating a new club for my friends to join. 

So if you’re also in the midst of a big “challenge”, whatever that may be, I want to encourage you. It’s okay to be uncomfortable and in transition. Those spaces offer us beautiful opportunities for growth, if we choose to see them that way. (And it’s okay if it takes time to get there.). 

Though you may not be able to change the situation, consider if a shift in focus, to a wiser part of you, might bring you some peace, or at least help you work more efficiently so you can sooner take a break with some tea or get a hug from a friend.

I’m grateful for mindfulness practices and self-awareness cultivated with the Enneagram that are making all of this feel more attainable.

I’m also grateful for the opportunity of a new year, where we can keep reevaluating who we are and our place in the world. 

Thanks for reading, and have a beautiful week! 

P.S. A great practice for the new year could be to book a Saboteur Assessment to help you shine a light on what’s keeping you from your best work and being your most authentic self. You can also reach out to me to join my next Enneagram study, using Suzanne Stabile’s incredible curriculum, so that you can learn more about yourself in the company of like-minded people. 

Struggling with motivation? just keep showing up

| jamiefeinberg

Photo by Eberhard Grossgasteiger

This has been a week here, friends, and perhaps it has been for you too. I’m grateful for most things being status quo. But I’ve been sick for nearly three weeks now (way better, but still dealing with fatigue and a voice that hasn’t fully returned), and the extra nuisance of all of it has combined to reduce my motivation to 0 most of the time.

If you can relate to this at all, I’m sorry. And here’s what I’m doing, or at least trying to do, when it’s an issue for me.

Consistency is Key

Just as I know building consistency in my business is key, even in the face of illness or a lack of motivation or feeling like the world is on the brink of collapse, I also know that consistency is key in my personal life. Maintaining whatever habits you can reaps mega benefits. Dishes washed today mean less dishes to wash tomorrow. Taking a shower and keeping my weekly family or friend check-in or getting out for a daily walk are habits you’ve probably worked hard to establish. If possible, resist the urge to cancel it all and crawl into a hole. And if you do cancel it once, do everything possible not to cancel a second time.

Find a Safe Space to Vent

Don’t keep the whirling and swirling emotions in the bottle that is your own mind, my friends. Whether a safe space looks like a journal or a chat with a like-minded family member or friend or a talk with a therapist or a group coaching or accountability session, we all need the opportunity to get our feelings out.

Use Your Creativity

This can actually qualify as a way to vent as well. Maybe the way to stop a panic spiral for you will be to paint a messy painting or dance around your living room or write a short story or poem. Maybe it’s coloring or taking out your Legos. Or maybe it’s whipping up a new concoction in the kitchen.

Get Into Your Body

One of the best antidotes for endless thoughts and feelings in your head is to get out of your head (and heart) and into your body. Find a yoga video, or take a local class. Do some polyvagal exercises or do some jumping jacks. Punch your pillow or chase a ball with your pet. Or practice mindfulness exercises to stay present.

Practice Gratitude

Name five things you’re grateful for before bed. Thank a loved one for a kindness, recent or in the past. Count your blessings like you could count sheep before bed. Even when things look bleak, I always have a lot of things I can be grateful for and present to, right now. I hope you do too.

Offer Yourself Grace

More than anything else, whether you do any of these or not, please offer yourself grace. You are doing the best you can right now. And if that comes easily, try offering grace to someone else too. But more than anything, know that you’re really doing the best you can today. And you can celebrate that.

Sending lots of love your way. Hang in there. And I’d love to hear your suggestions too!

P.S. One of the best tools I’ve found to offer grace to myself and others, with a bonus of providing opportunities for venting in tough times, has been my Enneagram work. I’m currently recruiting both Enneagram newbies, ready to learn more about themselves and why they do what they do, as well as those who already know their number who’d like to join my Enneagram Book Club. And if you don’t have a clue what the Enneagram is, I’m offering an intro workshop (free) soon that you can sign up for.