Simplifying

how to break out of a funk

A hazy sunrise
| jamiefeinberg

Okay, I’ll just be honest. I’m sitting here, feeling bleh. I don’t want to write a blog, I don’t want to be creative, and I don’t want to work. I don’t know what I want, but I wouldn’t say no to junk food, hugs, or a warm bed right now. Motivation is far away right now, that’s for sure.

So what do you do when you aren’t motivated, but you have obligations to keep? When you know you should be doing something, and maybe some specific “somethings”, but you find a part of your brain telling you to do anything else instead, or maybe scroll social media instead. What do you do when you know you should get some work done, but you’re just not feeling it?

It’s honestly a self-experiment. Different moods and different people will find different things help them to break out of the funk. Some of us need outside accountability to get things done. Others bristle at the suggestion of doing anything unless it comes from within. We are all unique, and if we haven’t done a lot of self-reflection and work, we may not have figured out how best to crack the code when we’re in one of these moods. (Or maybe we just become obstinate sometimes and ignore that inner knowing of what we should do? Maybe it’s just me…)

Keep this list on hand for when your brain is just saying “nope” and you need an idea of what to do next.

Here are a few ideas to try when you’re stuck:

  • Talk to an accountability buddy
  • Talk to a loved one
  • Journal about what’s going on
  • Meditate
  • Get outside
  • Take a walk/run
  • Dance to a favorite song
  • Take a nap
  • Splash your face with cold water
  • Have a cup of tea or coffee
  • Eat a comforting meal
  • Play with your pet
  • Turn on an inspiring podcast
  • Make some art
  • Color
  • Try some aromatherapy
  • Play an instrument
  • Sing
  • Try a couple of yoga postures
  • Talk to a cricket

Ha! Gotcha. Made up that last one. Just wanted to see if you were still reading. (But hey, Jiminy Cricket may indeed have some wise words for you!)

Can you relate to this feeling?

What do you recommend to break out of a funk?

P.S. It may take MANY of these steps to break you out of your funk. Offer yourself grace if you can’t change things for yourself right away. And if you’d like some support to help you become more efficient, happier, and clearer on your next steps in life, let’s schedule a time to talk!

A version of this article was originally published on February 26, 2021.

eliminating soul clutter

| jamiefeinberg

Soul clutter. The cobwebs keeping you from making meaningful connections. The dust hiding your true desires. The distractions and disappointments. It’s both poetic and real.

“How am I regularly getting rid of the soul clutter I no longer need?”

Emily P. Freeman shared this prompt in her book The Next Right Thing, and I LOVED it.

How powerful is that?

What are you holding onto that you can let go of? What stories, what taunts, what hurts, what old patterns aren’t serving you any longer?

As she goes on to say in her book, it’s not that you shouldn’t hold onto anything, but that nothing should have a hold on you.

When we can let go of the stress of extra obligations, when we can declutter and destress and clear the decks, it’s in the stillness that we can hear our inner wisdom.

Clearing space, away from technology, away from the voices of others telling us what is or isn’t right for us, we start to hear that inner knowing. That’s when the wisdom comes. That’s when the answers appear.

Have you carved out any time for stillness or silence this week? When you do, what do you hear?

And if you know this is something that will benefit you, but you’re struggling to do it on your own, I’ve got your back! Reach out to me for a no-obligation conversation as my gift to you, where I can help you to move the needle on what’s keeping you stuck, so you can feel happier, calmer, and more equipped to lean into what only you can do in this world.

I’m also looking for people interested in studying the Enneagram with me. You can either begin your Enneagram journey with me or, if you already know your number, you can join our book club, which meets on Mondays once a month at 4:30 p.m. ET/5:30 p.m. AT. The Enneagram is my favorite tool for understanding our personalities, why we do what we do, and how we can break the cycle. I’d love to share it with you. Contact rossandjamieadventure at gmail.com to learn more. Scholarships may be available for those who qualify.

Wishing you a day and week with joy, wonder, meaning, and the space to do what is uniquely yours to do. Take care.

This article is based on an article I originally shared on December 18, 2020.

Finding your happy in the holidays

| jamiefeinberg

Hi friends. I’ve been dealing with some health challenges that, while very treatable and straightforward, have had me feeling completely exhausted much of the time. It’s been especially challenging given that this has been the busiest season of my life since moving to Prince Edward Island.

A typical week, over the past six weeks or so, has seen me performing 1-3x, attending or leading rehearsals and auditions, having meetings, and perhaps a social gathering or outing as well in the mix.

In addition, I interviewed for a dreamy 3 days a week position (I was so close, with wonderful feedback on how well-suited I was and how great my interview and experience were etc.), took on some very part-time writing and virtual assistant work, supported clients using the Enneagram and mental fitness, and did some great vocal coaching in individual and group settings.

What’s been key for me, in all of this, has been two things: prioritizing & choosing joy.

Prioritizing is always helpful, especially when you’re someone like me who tends to have several important projects and commitments happening simultaneously. But when your health isn’t in a good place, prioritizing is essential. It becomes your lifeline. What’s the one thing I NEED to accomplish today, or the consequences are dreary? What’s the one thing that, if I accomplish it today, gives me the best chance of hitting my goal for next year, or creating the income I’m seeking for next month? What’s the one thing that, if I made time for it, could make a meaningful impact on my feeling rested or accomplished or loved or content today?

Prioritizing is how we make sure we finish the holiday season satisfied. Maybe that means we balanced the need for quiet contemplation with the need for holiday shopping or managing family members and their expectations. Maybe it means we balanced festive gatherings with time for ourselves, or we took some time off while still meeting the demands of a boss or our clients or our families.

But how do we choose joy?

I choose joy every day, many times a day. When I start to feel the telltale signs of tension in my arms and shoulders, or feel my head getting foggy and anxious thoughts creeping in, I acknowledge what I am feeling, and then I choose to set aside stress and overwhelm. I choose joy.

I choose to stick to my wiser, positive emotions, choosing what’s best for the particular moment at hand. Maybe that means I choose to empathize with people, near or far, who are suffering. Maybe I choose to move into calm and clear-headed action. Maybe I explore the options available to me or create an entirely new, outside of the box solution to the problems I am experiencing or observing around me. Maybe I focus on gratitude. These are all ways to choose joy, for me.

Joy can mean sipping hot cocoa or looking at Christmas lights or giving a gift or cooking a meal together.

Joy can mean letting go of opportunities for overwhelm and instead embracing the more productive emotions available to me. Instead of dwelling in anxiety, what’s the one action I can take to make a difference in this moment?

Does that sound like prioritization? It sure is.

We have chosen a beautiful life that means we are usually far from family during the holiday season. We have done that mindfully. That doesn’t mean that we don’t simultaneously wish we could be here and there. It doesn’t mean we don’t have complex emotions at this time of year.

I’m exploring ways to clarify for myself what matters to me during this season. What are my priorities? Who do I want to see, talk to, spend time with? What traditions do I want to maintain? What new traditions do I want to start? What just isn’t my priority, so I can let it go, accept it as it is? What isn’t within my control, and how can I work on accepting that? And where am I finding joy?

Wherever you are, whatever your situation this year or this week, I believe you have some agency. You can choose a thought that brings joy. Maybe you can choose an activity, or choose to skip an activity. If you aren’t sure how to proceed, let yourself get quiet and contemplate what you truly want and what truly matters to you. Do some grounding exercises. Phone a friend or hire a coach or see a therapist if journaling or brainstorming yourself isn’t getting you there.

And when you’re ready, I hope you’ll prioritize with intention, and choose joy.

Happy holidays, friend.

P.S. If you’re looking for ways to spread joy to us, we thank you. Sharing this post is a great way to do that. You can also listen to Ross’ Christmas album or check out our ukulele course – use the code YEAREND.

Using frustration as fuel for the future

| jamiefeinberg

I’ve faced some challenging situations in my career. Early in the pandemic, I’d built a thriving virtual assistant business to fund our travels, and I found myself struggling to create boundaries between my work and my personal life.

One of my clients was particularly disorganized, and I was finding myself feeling stressed – and that stress was carrying over even after I’d set aside my work for the day.

It certainly wasn’t the scenario I had hoped for when I took on this client, but it’s a scenario that many of us know well.

Do you find yourself carrying the stress of your job into your nights and weekends? Perhaps even into your vacation?

Do you find it tough to turn off the worry when you turn off the laptop?

Is it hard for you to devote time to working on your goals and dreams because you’re too stressed about the here and now?

I can certainly relate. I’ve been there. One suggestion for you to try is this: use your frustration as fuel for the future.

When you catch yourself dwelling on anger or frustration, try reframing the situation by saying (out loud, in a journal, or in your head) “I’m so thankful for work that allows me to pay my bills. I’m so thankful for work that allows me to save for my future goals. This situation is helping me to build my future dream life.”

Remember that this frustration is fueling your future in multiple ways:

  • Financially – this money supports you while you dream and scheme and plan, and it may let you save enough for funding future too.
  • Emotionally – this experience is giving you visceral lessons that will stick with you moving forward. You’ll remember this feeling and when you lose momentum or focus on the work of dream life creation, remembering how much you don’t want to experience this again will get you that fire under your butt that’s needed for change. While you’re currently in liminal space, an in-between state that can be very frustrating and generate fear and anxiety, as Suzanne Stabile shares, it’s only in liminal space that we are open to learning new things and can truly experience transformation.

The power of language can’t be overstated here. It can feel incredibly awkward if you’re not used to doing this, and you’ll want to choose a phrase or mantra that feels truthful, authentic to you. But when we regularly make these types of statements, and grow more aware of our word choice, it can have a surprisingly meaningful and beneficial impact on our lives.

Rewriting our stories is truly important for growth. When I rewrite my frustration, instead of the situation being a thing that’s happening to me, feeling myself a victim, I put myself in a position of power.

We have the opportunity to own the choice we are making:

  • I choose to do this job to support my future life.
  • I do this work to feed my family.
  • I’m learning lessons that will help me in the future.

I encourage you to choose a story of empowerment. Choose to use your frustration as future fuel.

Three years ago, I had some go-to tools for managing my own stress – things like breathwork, taking walks in nature, and yoga. And I had a morning routine that served me pretty well.

Since then, I’ve gained additional tools that have been a true game-changer in my life. Using mental fitness techniques I’ve been refining with dedicated practice, I now spend very little time feeling stressed in a typical day. My resting state on most days is actually a state of contentment! And I have the tools to shift my state, quickly and, most days, easily, when I catch myself beginning an anxiety spiral. I love feeling focused and ready to ride the waves of what life hands me. It’s an empowered, confident space to be in, and I love who I have become and who I am becoming.

I’ve also gotten MUCH better at boundary-setting, and when I combine that with personal development and mental fitness work, the result has been that I spend the majority of my time feeling positive emotions like joy, clear-headed focus, confidence, empathy, and more. On days where I previously would have felt stressed, dreading the work ahead and then struggling to leave the stress behind at day’s end, I am feeling inspired, and grateful, and energized.

Making a commitment to work on yourself improves your own life, your relationships with other people, and the world. It begins when you make the decision to own your own power, your own voice, and your own role in the situations you’re in.

So I am curious, and I’d love to hear from you:

Have you been in this situation?

How did you handle it?

How are you rewriting your story today?

And if you’re ready to feel less stress, less fear, less overwhelm and more joy, focus, efficiency, confidence, gratitude…let’s chat. I’d love to help you get some clarity and confidence.

It doesn’t have to be so hard.

It’s time to dream bigger and love life more.

You deserve it, and the world thrives when we embrace who we are meant to be in it.

Note: This article was inspired by one I first wrote and shared on September 11, 2020.

waiting for your chance?

| jamiefeinberg

Good news if you enjoy a bargain. I decided to offer a few sales. If you’ve been on the fence about working with me or my previous offers weren’t in the budget or quite the right fit, please check out these. (All info in the images is also duplicated below.)

I’d love to support you, and if this resonates with you, sharing helps me to connect with other people who are ready to take their next step. You can reach me at rossandjamieadventure @ gmail.com.

Spring Sale! (expire after the equinox on Monday, 3/20/2023):

One-Off Coaching/Consulting Power Session: Know where you’re headed and want some coaching or consulting on your particular question or situation? This is made for YOU.

Includes pre-session worksheet, 75 minute session, follow-up summary w/ road map and suggestions for next step

Ex. What are the next best steps for me to take in my business? Can you help me to create a schedule that’s more aligned with my values? How can I set some boundaries so that people stop expecting me to do everything? Which of these awesome hobbies/side projects should I pursue as a business?

Regular price $179, sale price $70 (more than 60% off!)

Buy Two Months of Coaching, Get One Month Free: For new 1:1 clients, purchase two months of coaching and/or mental fitness training and receive your third month of coaching free! (I am actually not allowed to promote this discounted price publicly, so message me for a free coaching session and I’ll share all the details with you!) Prefer a group session? Reach out to me for additional savings opportunities.

Free Session & Save: New clients who book their free session with me receive a credit of $200 that can be used toward any regularly priced coaching package before the end of June, 2023.

Enneagram-Curious: Considering working with a practitioner 1:1 to discover your number and learn more about who you are and why you do what you do? Know your number, but want some support figuring out what you can actually DO with that information? I’m offering an introductory price on this new offer of only $50 for an hour of Enneagram training, or only $150 for 4 sessions.

Coaching-Curious Sampler: Intrigued by mental fitness training, coaching, consulting, and the Enneagram? Not sure where to start? This sampler includes four sessions with me where you’ll be introduced to each of these modalities and explore the roles they might play in your personal development. If you’re ready for support in creating a life you love (or in embracing the one you have) but feel some blocks and are craving clarity, this sampler is designed for you. Introductory price: $250

Sometimes, All It Takes is a Nightstand

| jamiefeinberg

I was half asleep on Monday, January 24th when I reached over to grab my eye mask and realized it was soaking wet in my hands. All of a sudden, my brain went to work. It computed that, in fact, the whole nightstand was wet.

(The portable humidifier had been on it. In that moment, I realized that the humidifier had leaked water everywhere, soaking everything from tissues to eye masks in its path.)

I had a brief thought about beginning to clean it up, which I knew would wake me up completely and make it hard for me to get a good night’s sleep. But then, instead, I called out to Ross, calmly and with complete control.

“Hi Ross! Do you have the spoons to come help me with something?”

Previous to my Enneagram and mental fitness work, I would have asked that question as if it was an absolute emergency. In fact, it wouldn’t have been a question at all. “Ross, come here!” I would have yelled across the apartment. “There’s a mess, and I need help!” Cue flashbacks to”‘the time I knocked an entire bowl of Chex Mix on the floor” and “the time I realized my cat had fleas”, among other memorable moments.

But this time, I recognized that it wasn’t actually an emergency. This situation was relatively stable. There was no need to introduce more stress and drama into the equation.

Ross came in, cracking some cute joke or comment about spoons. I calmly explained to him what had happened, in a very matter-of-fact way. Instead of asking him to completely handle it, I asked him if he’d go get a garbage can. Then, in my half sleepy state, I took him through solving the situation, one step at a time. I did used my handy problem-solving skills, which I excel at, apparently even when half-awake, so that I could avoid Ross feeling overwhelmed, as I know he would have navigating it solo. (You can learn a lot after 13 years of dating or marriage!) I never got out of bed this entire time. I heard myself saying things like, “Can you please go hang this somewhere?” or “Can you please go get a towel?”.

I trusted him to take care of it. I let go of the need for it to be done a certain way. And somehow, when it was done, I just went to sleep. (Yes, I went to sleep! No panic, no racing thoughts, no getting out of bed to see where he hung things…I just went to sleep.)

A good friend and member of one of my Enneagram groups asked me what was different about this time, and I shared that it was a few things.

The main difference is that there was a space before doing. Old me would have IMMEDIATELY started handling the clean up, before I even stopped to think about how I wanted it done, or what should be done, or if it was mine to do or I could ask for help or if I should wait or gather some things first. As I did the cleanup, I would have felt feelings of frustration and anger, and I would have resented doing it solo…and by the time I would have asked Ross to help me, I would have been resentful that I had to ask or that he hadn’t helped me yet.

Ross would have come into the room with his guard up, and his stressful vibes would have fed on mine and caused a “saboteur contagion”, as we call it, with him struggling so much with my energy that he a) probably wouldn’t have finished helping me before giving up and leaving the room, upset and b) whether he finished it or not, he’d have ended up a complete wreck by the end, and then I’d be upset he was upset and I’d be unable to let it go (or sleep).

Instead, there was a space. A breath. A pause as I processed what happened and held off acting for a second. Instead of acting on autopilot, going to darker and depressing parts of my mind, I had the space to breathe and ask for help, calmly and without needing things to be done a particular way. It just became an “any old situation”, not an emergency. Even when I woke the next day, I didn’t get dazed when I walked into the bathroom with stuff hanging everywhere. Again, I just let it go.

My mental muscles are now so strong that I didn’t get triggered and have saboteurs react. There was a pause and then a move into my sage/wise mind/calmer self. And I stayed there the entire time.

Another friend shared with me that she was truly impressed because with all the work she has done on herself, she knows she still would have had to have control of that whole process. She couldn’t have stayed in bed to manage and would have had ways it had to be done. My first friend suggested the two of them should join my mental fitness program. My third friend has already, so I told the other two, join the club!

If you’d like to learn the science and get the practical tools to finally, once and for all, be able to be less reactive, more happy, less stressed or fearful, more efficient and effective, let’s connect. Mental fitness has been an absolute game-changer for me, and I want you to experience it too. Book a time here for an intro, with no obligation. You deserve to be happy. We all do.

P.S. If you’ve been doing your own work and already have rock-solid mental health practices, go you! Please consider sharing this with a friend or family member (or many) if it resonates with you and you want to share the benefits of a life you love and daily practices that support you.

Three Steps for Times of Stress

| jamiefeinberg

In the past month, I’ve launched my first two mental fitness groups (using the researched-based, acclaimed Positive Intelligence program and app that I’ve been studying for more than six months), conducted a performance of “O Canada” for a Canadian citizenship ceremony, completed an anti-anxiety program, completed a three month Enneagram group, been interviewed on a podcast, performed professionally as a member of Luminos Ensemble, written most of a book, coached childfree women (and people who aren’t raising children) on ways to create a life they love, and done writing and editing for clients. I’ve also dealt with the Hurricane Fiona aftermath, attended to a variety of personal and professional tasks, and made some time for fun fall activities, including getting together with friends.

One of the brilliant things about my work in the mental fitness realm has been realizing that I turn less and less things into stress in my life now. I’ve realized that rather than let all of the things in my busy life feel like things I “must” do, AKA things that cause me stress and need to be dealt with, I can instead focus on curiosity, on navigating my to-dos with joy or at least without the extra emotional weight I had a tendency to add to them. 

My mantra, which I developed in my first Enneagram group and continue to find exceptionally helpful, is this: “Breathe. Prioritize. Do what’s mine to do.” 

This mantra won’t work for everyone. You may in fact be one of those people who don’t take on other people’s tasks. Or you may need a mantra that’s more about doing and less about stopping and prioritizing for you personally to find balance in your life. But if my mantra strikes a chord, read on.

If you’re feeling stressed, unsure how to juggle all the responsibilities, both spoken and unspoken, in your life, try my three steps on for size. 

  1. Breathe: Realizing your breathing is getting more shallow? Starting to feel overwhelmed or anxious? As soon as you recognize it, stop that thought train. Focus on your breath. In, and out. Again. Stop the “what-if” and the “must-do” and tune into your breathing. 
  2. Prioritize: Once you’re feeling a bit calmer, whether from breathing or doing other mindfulness exercises, NOW you’re in a healthy space. You’re now using the part of your brain that’s capable of navigating challenges and getting curious about what’s possible. So it’s time to prioritize. What’s the one thing that you could get done today that would make your week, or even your year? What are the deadlines that will really screw you up if you miss them? Who is more important, and what are they expecting of you? Prioritize. 
  3. Do what’s mine to do: Now, and only now, it’s time to return to doing. Since you’ve stopped the auto-pilot and tuned into what matters, you can now do what’s truly yours to do. Most things I think are mine to do are, it turns out, actually not. I make a whole lot of responsibilities up. Sometimes I think I need to do work for other people. So don’t blindly do: make sure you do what’s YOURS to do today. And always, or at least whenever you can remember to stop, consider what matters, and then move forward. 

Keep swimming, my friends. You are wonderful just as you are, truly, right now. And I believe in you.

P.S. If you want support in how to follow these steps, that’s what I’m here for. Let’s hop on a free call where you can learn more about mental fitness and how to handle life’s challenges with more efficiency and joy.

Mastering Mental Fitness in The Messy Middle

| jamiefeinberg

Have you ever heard the term mental fitness? I hadn’t until recently, but now that I have, I’ve realized it’s a beautiful description for the work that I’ve been doing.

I am currently in the midst of some major hustle for my business ventures, taking on new clients, promoting the work I do to support women in figuring out what they truly want and bringing it to life, writing a book, and taking a couple of great courses. I am really busy!

At the same time, I’m taking more time off than I have in a long time. We’ve celebrated our anniversary, my birthday, Ross’ half birthday (yup!), PEI Pride Week, and next we’ll be spending some time with family.

So right now, I am pulling out every trick in the book to work as efficiently and effectively as possible. And in part, that means relying on mental fitness.

Thanks to the program I’m working on getting certified in, I’ve got lots of tools in my toolbox. I’m doing a daily walking meditation as I start my day, but I’m also integrating quick breaks to help me to get focused and make sure I’m in the best headspace possible to address challenges and make decisions.

The painful reality of being in the messy middle of building my business is that most days don’t get wrapped up with a pretty bow, and I rarely complete my to-do list (though I am getting better and better and completing my daily priorities list). Mental fitness is what keeps me in a state of wisdom, gratitude, hope, and making progress. It’s what helps to keep me eager to jump out of bed in the morning and eager to go to sleep at night (and rinse and repeat tomorrow).

What tools are you using to navigate life right now? Do you find yourself getting sabotaged by anxiety or negative voices in your head? Let’s share what we’re doing to keep going.

Mastering your mental health is a muscle. We need to practice flexing those muscles just like we might go for a swim, take a walk, or do a pushup.

Take care, friends. Especially in light of the world. Focus on what’s yours to do today, and tomorrow will get clearer too.

Five Things The Enneagram Taught Me About Myself

| jamiefeinberg

As I coordinate schedules in hopes of getting my pilot Enneagram group going soon, I’m thinking about how much I’ve learned about the Enneagram since I began studying it about two years back.

The Enneagram is an ancient tool for learning more about yourself and how you relate to other people. Unlike astrology or Human Design, someone doesn’t tell you your type, based on particular facts about yourself, like when you were born. Instead, you study the nine types (traditionally, this is done as an oral tradition, and our group will be watching videos to learn our type), and from that study and through engaging with other people to learn more about it, you can discern which type you are. Knowing your type gives you a path to follow toward a more whole and healthy life. In my case, it’s also made a major difference in my marriage, and it’s helped me to understand my family and friends better too.

Here are the top five things the Enneagram taught me about myself!

I Get Frustrated

Okay, so maybe that seems obvious to you if you know me personally. Or maybe you’re reading this and thinking, don’t we all get frustrated sometimes? But the Enneagram taught me that most of the time, when I don’t know how to put what I’m feeling into words, or when I feel angry, or a lot of other negative emotions, what’s honestly at the root of it all is frustration. And while that frustration is often directed at other people, more often than not, at least if I dig deeper, I will find out that I’m most frustrated with myself.

I Am My Own Worst Critic

Again, this might be obvious to some of you, and to some of you, you may assume everyone is their own worst critic. But as a 1 on the Enneagram, I’ve got a fun little voice in my head that likes to spend all of its time pointing out flaws in the world, but most especially my own flaws. Recognizing and identifying that voice is the first step in some major acceptance of who I am. It’s also helped me to recognize why it is that I get so critical about little things when I am tired or under stress. It’s also given my husband more compassion for me, rather than simply feeling angry or hurt, when I default to wanting things clean or fixed or put away on my schedule (rather than on OUR schedule).

I Verbally Process Things

Before studying the Enneagram, I knew I sometimes verbally processed (thought things through out loud, in conversation). What I hadn’t realized is that verbal processing is the way I like to process everything! One of my favorite tips from podcaster, author, and Enneagram expert Suzanne Stabile has been that I should end each day verbally processing what’s happened with my husband (or a friend, roommate, or even a journal or cat might work in a pinch). It’s something that I’d generally done with my husband, but studying the Enneagram made me aware of how healthy and important this is for me and my mental health.

People Tend To be Past, Present, or Future-Oriented

Before studying the Enneagram, I knew I was very aware of the present moment. I knew that some of my clients and friends struggled with looking ahead to the future or resisted spending time talking about the past, even wanting to put up a wall and avoid revisiting tough experiences.

I now know that each of us either past, present, or future-oriented. I happen to be oriented to the present, and for me, that means I have no problem supporting someone right now, but I can get easily distracted by a present task (or email or question) and lose sight of the bigger picture ahead of me.

I’ve also learned that some people (including a very close family member) are oriented toward the past, which can help explain why it’s tough for them to create goal and find motivation toward the future. Likewise, my more future-minded family members are constantly thinking about what’s next, so much so that it can be hard for them to enjoy the present moment. Of course, there are practices to help with all of this. In our ideal worlds, we’d all find balance between all three, so we can take steps to get there.

Just knowing this is a normal distinction and pattern has really helped me to understand why other people do what they do.

You Aren’t As Special, Or As Normal, As You Think You Are

What do I mean by that, exactly? There are so many pieces of the puzzle when it comes to who we are. In addition to the circumstances I experienced growing up, I am an Enneagram 1, a highly sensitive person (HSP), and an introvert. I’m also the oldest of four children, a white cisgender woman without any children, I grew up fairly well off in the Northeastern United States….

I could go on and on, of course, but the point is, there are tons of factors that come together and make us unique.

At the same time, I can find community, finding a LOT in common, in any of those groups. I might bond with one person who grew up visiting the White Mountains of New Hampshire, find traits in common with fellow introverts or with oldest siblings, or find people who sound an AWFUL lot like me who also identify as Enneagram 1s.

Some of my “weirdest” quirks I have in common with a lot of other people. And knowing that feels vulnerable and also super cool.

If you want to figure out your own Enneagram type, or if you know it, but you’d like to learn more about it and get to know people of other types as well as your own, please reach out to me and join our pilot.

And as always, if you’re looking for support in finding out what you truly want in life, and then figuring out how to make it happen, I’m your woman!

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Supporting Our Blog

We are so thankful for your support of our blog and our careers! You can help further by doing any or all of the following:

  • Purchase one of Ross’ albums! 
  • Take Ross’ online ukulele course!
  • Become a patron of our work!
  • Make purchases via our Amazon website links. There is no additional cost to you, and a portion of the proceeds can support our travels. Begin your Amazon search here.
  • Make other purchases using our affiliate links. Signing up with Dosh is a great way for everyone with a smartphone to support us, and we also have options for aspiring virtual assistants as well as occasional and full-time RVers to save money.
  • Subscribe to our blog, as well as perhaps InSearchOfAScoop.com, and recommend our work to your friends and family.
  • Take music or theater lessons (group or private) from us, either in person or via Skype at TinyVillageMusic.com.