Anyone else finding the juxtaposition of life confusing right now? It’s such a gorgeous time of year where I live, getting to have so many sunny days, enjoying warmth and blue skies, flowering gardens, and some really delicious fresh and local foods, from lobster to strawberries and from garlic scapes to new potatoes.
And yet, I’m also making phone calls to my representatives to tell them they need to do everything in their power to stand up against concentration camps being built in our backyards.
What to do, in the face of it all? How do you keep moving forward in your own life when you know what’s happening in your backyard?
Photo description: Magenta-colored flowers catch the light, with their green leaves behind them (Photo by Jamie Feinberg)
You know what you need best, my friend. But here are some ideas, if things are hazy and it feels like the walls are closing in:
Return to the self-care practices that have gotten you through tough times in the past. Feel regulated when you take a shower? When you go for a run? When you call a friend? Prioritize that.
Practice presence, several times a day, but definitely when you begin your day. Pay close attention to your five senses. Feel yourself in your body. Focus on your breath. Release tension. Release negative thoughts.
Cultivate movement in your life, at whatever level is feasible for you. The more movement, typically, the better you will feel. I know for myself, the more intense it is, the bigger a difference it makes, but just walking or even getting outside can make a difference.
Find the sky. Remember when you see the clouds or tops of buildings or find the sun or blue that there is something bigger than you in this world – whether it’s a divine presence or simply a giant planet and universe that will long outlive you, tune in to the gifts of that, and remember you’re one person, doing your small part, to make a difference today.
Give back. Call your representatives. Protest. Create art. Talk to people. Stand up for small injustices and micro-aggressions. Do not normalize atrocities. Talk about people as if they are human – because they are.
Feel gratitude for something. Or several somethings.
Take breaks from social media. Take breaks from noise. Just be.
Find community. Join a group or start one. (Join one of mine!) Get connected and remember that sharing our gifts and our presence is a meaningful way to be the best we can be in the world.
Remember you’re not alone. Thank you for being you, and for doing what you have the capacity for today, in your own world and your own community.
And I’d love to hear how you’re doing right now. How are you handling this? How do you want to handle this?
This week in Canada, we celebrated Canada Day, and while many are feeling very patriotic and proud of their country right now (or at least grateful to be in it, warts and all), I’ve recognized since we moved to Canada that for many, especially indigenous people, to celebrate Canada Day can feel disingenuous at best, and perhaps even entirely inappropriate, as the patriotic celebrations can feel like a whitewashing of history. I know that here in PEI, indigenous individuals and communities are playing a significant role in the celebrations, and I love seeing that, but I know it’s a bit of an imperfect solution, at best.
I was thinking about how in all the Independence Day celebrations I experienced in the United States, I couldn’t even have imagined a true indigenous component to them. And it didn’t occur to me, in full transparency. This is one area where I think Canada is ahead of the United States, and I hope that in the future, Americans can think more about following in their footsteps.
Similarly, there are plenty of other groups, whether it’s Black communities, the queer community, the disabled community etc., who may feel like they’re not ready to be patriotic. And right now, with fascism a growing reality and millions displaced without due process (or seemingly rhyme or reason), and unfortunately the promise of much more to come, I think anyone with a heartbeat and a conscience might be finding themselves wondering whether it’s appropriate to be celebrating.
But today, I’m not going to answer that for you. Instead, I’ll encourage you to get quiet inside and decide for yourself whether patriotic displays, now or in the future, are worthy of your support.
Also, I wanted to remind you that when you’re struggling to feel grateful, or to feel grounded, finding a way to give back can be an extraordinary way to do so. It can often be one of the easiest ways to find fulfillment and even joy.
Photo of someone feeding a white chicken by Alex P
I’ve been giving back in many ways. I give back as a mental fitness instructor and coach, allotting a portion of my work each month to supporting people who otherwise wouldn’t have access. I donate money to nonprofits doing good work, and I draw attention to the good work of people and organizations so that others might feel inspired to do the same.
This past Sunday, I led a showtunes singalong, and it allowed me to give back in two ways. First off, we set aside a percentage of ticket sales to go to Peers Alliance, a local nonprofit important to the queer community, and to the Transgender Law Center, doing important work in the United States. While that itself felt like a meaningful gesture, even on a small scale, I also felt the joy of giving back by sharing my performing gifts with others. There’s something about singing together that really is healing, and I could feel the joy and power in a room of present, connected humans, many previously strangers, coming together in song.
Where do you give back? Where do you volunteer? Who do you care for, teach, or show your love to? Do you fight for causes you believe in or run for office?
Let love be your guide. Choose love. Choose to channel your energy to what matters most to you. Find energy in supporting those who need more than you, or at least whose needs align with what you have to offer.
And please remember: You’re here. I’m proud of you. We are glad you’re here. Keep breathing. Keep taking care.
And please let me know: where do you give back? Or where would you like to?
P.S. One way I give back is through my Enneagram work. My group Enneagram programs are offered on a sliding scale, and I do them out of love. Learn more here, we’d love to have you join us to do this important work on yourself that is best done in community with others.
I’m reading a book in one of my Enneagram groups, and it has reminded me of the importance of allowing stillness and silence in my day to day life. As an Enneagram 1/type A go-getter who is constantly DOING things, it is not my habit to pause. And like so many of us, I am getting more and more used to distraction. I might turn on a video while cooking, a podcast while walking, or pull out a book in between work projects.
But what I was reminded of today, and what has been useful, is that God or our inner wise one (insert your language of choice) is found in the stillness. Without pauses, we can’t get in tune with what’s best for us. And infuriatingly, we cannot will those wise revelations to show up in our lives. All we can do is practice pausing. Then we can leave it to the universe to do what it will with us.
Photo of red, purple and yellow tulips by Pixabay
When my internet is being slow as I work today, I am trying to choose stillness instead of distracting myself while I wait for things to load.
When I am not sure what to do next, I am trying to breathe and sit. Let me find the answer in stillness, because it isn’t coming in the “doing”.
How do you create space? Are you allowing stillness or silence? If not, what’s one small way you’d like to try it?
This past weekend was a real gift for me (and, I venture to say, for my chorus too). I direct an a cappella barbershop chorus, and this past weekend was an extraordinary success for us. Our contest weekends are always joyful, as we are a part of a culture of community rather than competition. We cheer for each chorus and quartet enthusiastically, at the start and after each song. We take classes together, we sing together, we share and have fun together into all hours of the evening. It’s amazing.
And this past weekend, I got to experience the joy of knowing we did everything we set out to do. And as it turned out this year, that was enough for us to hit all of our goals: to qualify for the international competition, to receive fourth place (and a chance to sing for all of our fellow members after contest at Moonglow), and I received an award as director of the most improved chorus who qualified for the international contest.
Photo: I hold the Don Regan Award, smiling; our chorus performs (wearing their fourth place ribbons) at Moonglow
I also had the gift of spending time in nature, watching mother ducks and their babies swimming, spotting all sorts of gorgeous birds up close, and just enjoying some serenity – a beautiful contrast with our chorus contest.
Unfortunately, as I returned home and started to pay more attention to the headlines, I was reminded of how many people are putting their bodies on the line right now, simply by participating in peaceful protest, and of how precarious things are in so much of the world right now. Even journalists are being targeted for simply documenting what’s taking place.
I wish I had all the answers. I wish I could wave a wand and stop atrocities and create a world that is more equitable and life-giving to everyone.
But in the meantime, I will encourage you to be present today. Find small joys to be grateful for and savor. Hug a loved one if you can. Enjoy a treat if you can. Share a good conversation, a meal, a dollar or a kindness.
If you are privileged enough and willing and able to put your physical presence on the line, I thank you for that. If resistance for you looks like making donations or having conversations or even just caring for yourself, I see you too.
Keep doing what you can. As my chorus reminded me that I said recently, each of us makes a difference. Each person on the risers, or each person in the world, has the opportunity to do their own best or instead choose complacency (or even to do harm). Please believe, and please know, that your actions DO make a difference. To the people you interact with, and to the world as a whole. I truly believe that.
Take good care. Keep embracing joy. Keep breathing.
P.S. One way to take care of yourself is practicing good self-care. If you’d like to learn more about yourself in community with others, join my Enneagram program, or set up a time to learn more about mental fitness (which you can study in community or 1:1 in coaching with me).
Photo of me, hair down and smiling, leaning against our RV in 2021. (Head here to be notified when my book on our travels is ready for pre-order!)
Hi friends. It’s my anniversary weekend (yay!), and in spite of that, I’m out of town spending time competing with my chorus and enjoying all of our amazing barbershop friendships too. I hope you have some plans to fill your own cup as well.
Today, I just wanted to mention a few ways that you can work with me, if you’re ready to take the next step in your own personal development journey. While we can go it alone, there is just some work, even inner work, that is often best done with support from others who have been there.
#1 Join my Enneagram summer group!
The Enneagram is my favorite tool for personal development. It helped me to figure out why I am the way I am AND figure how the work I can do to become a healthier, happier version of me. I have SO much more compassion for people due to my Enneagram study, and it’s extraordinarily helpful in relationships of all sorts.
We use a three month video series created by the wise Enneagram godmother, Suzanne Stabile. We meet weekly to share our own reflections on her teaching, learn from each other, and touch base about our own journeys, goals, and progress. Everyone who has completed this program with me has found it helpful and even transformative.Learn how to join us here.We’ll coordinate schedules based on the participants’ plans for the summer.
#2 Tackle anxiety, anger, and the negative voices in your head by studying mental fitness with me!
I use the Positive Intelligence mental fitness platform, and it’s been the best tool I know for teaching me and my clients how to stay present, handle negative emotions, and become a more efficient and effective version of me. If you struggle to stay regulated or grounded, if you need some concrete tools to use when life gets really uncomfortable, you need mental fitness in your life.
Book a call to learn how the saboteurs are keeping you from living your best life. Learn to get through your day with less stress and more joy. This program is available as individual coaching or in a group format
Wherever you are today, take a moment and breathe. Listen to the sounds around you. Enjoy the outdoors if you can. And give yourself a pat on the back. You’re doing great. It will get better.
This past week was a beautiful juxtaposition for me. Maybe it was for you too? I had family in town, and I was so privileged to spend time with them, to go out to eat or for a drive and even to a speakeasy, and otherwise to run around playing tourist and share my beautiful local community with my mom and my sister.
Photo of my sister, my mom, myself and my husband seated on an antique couch at a local speakeasy, Reddins
At the same time that I got to spend time with them, I was aware of the devastating cuts that have passed the House and could potentially pass the Senate of the United States in the guise of a “big beautiful bill” that will actually take away the protections built into our constitution (in irrevocable ways) and steal essential resources, including environmental resources, from the poor and middle class to give tax breaks to the wealthy.
If I had allowed myself to focus on the potentially horrendous future ahead of us, I wouldn’t have been able to enjoy my time with my family. Thankfully, I’m well-practiced in mental fitness techniques, and even with the extra stressors that can pop up when interacting with family (due to old childhood patterns) or in being in new environments, I felt very equipped to enjoy my time with them.
So today, I thought I’d explore the saboteur that can often be at play when navigating these challenging times, as well as some ways to combat those thoughts and patterns as they arise, in hopes that it can help you too.
In the words of Positive Intelligence, “Saboteurs are deeply ingrained patterns of thinking and behavior that limit your potential and hinder your ability to perform at your best. They are internal critics that operate based on fear, self-doubt, and negative self-talk. Saboteur patterns can take various forms, such as the Avoider, the Hyper-Achiever, the Victim, and more. Each Saboteur has a unique way of sabotaging your wellbeing and success.”
Vigilance itself can be a very wise characteristic. Businesses, individuals, families, and other organizations benefit from people with the skill to be paying attention to future possibilities and preparing for them in a wise way.
But the Hyper-Vigilant Saboteur is perpetually alert, constantly scanning the horizon for any threats and anxious about what can go wrong. The Hyper-Vigilant Saboteur becomes chronically stressed, and by doubting yourself and other people, the saboteur makes sure that you aren’t able to be present, relax, or enjoy the present moment.
While these saboteurs originated as a way to protect us and keep us safe in childhood, when we overly rely on one type of behavior, it becomes disproportionate and gets in the way of our ability to enjoy life and to be efficient and effective. The Hyper-Vigilant Saboteur can look like the “boy who cried wolf”, getting anxious about EVERY possibility and potentially missing the true, actual dangers that deserve our focus and attention.
A 24/7 news cycle is built for those of us with a strong Hyper-Vigilant Saboteur. The news media focus on the negative and seize on our fear to keep us watching, reading, and tuning in. This makes us suspicious of other people and question our own safety and our own ability to weather the storm. You may feel skeptical or anxious or even constantly worrying thanks to this saboteur.
If you find your own anxious thoughts getting in the way of your ability to enjoy your present company, there are a few things you can do to help the situation:
When you catch the anxious thought patterns repeating themselves, stop and let those negative thoughts go. Recognizing that these are your saboteurs and your saboteurs’ limiting beliefs is the first step. (This is what we study and practice in my mental fitness programs.)
Take a ten second break to hyper-focus on your senses. This is mindfulness, but with extra focus. Feel the sensation of the wind in your hair or observe the inhale and exhale of your breath. Command your mind to be fully present on the colors or textures in front of you. (I teach some of these techniques when we complete a Saboteur Assessment. Consider joining me!)
Here are some other ideas for conquering your Hyper-Vigilant Saboteur:
Practice mindfulness – take a walk, meditate, do a body scan, mindfully enjoy a drink or a meal
Practice being present and discerning between true threats and the dangers you perceive. Take a breath and pause before deciding how to proceed in each situation
Find ways to challenge worst-case scenario thinking: consider alternatives, consider what’s likely,, or even follow your worst-case scenario thinking and then imagine how you’d handle it or how realistic that is
Ask a friend, or a coach, or a therapist for support and their perspective
Move from worrying and anxious thoughts to taking meaningful and specific actions
Though by adulthood, the neural pathways of our saboteurs are well-worn and well-honed, we can learn to create new neural pathways and build new habits using the wiser part of our mind. We are more than our saboteurs. And the more we do this work, the more joy we can find in the everyday moments, like a meal with those we love.
Friends, I am disgusted and fearful and angry and sad and more when I read news headlines or simply think about how many children and adults are suffering and whose rights are being stripped away.
I just called my senators to oppose Casey Means for Surgeon General. I will keep calling my representatives to hold them accountable each week. And I will spend a little time each day being open to the best ways that I can make a difference in the world.
But you know one of my favorite things in the world?
Sunlight.
Photo of a happy dog running down a path by Pixabay
A sunny day, with blue sky and mild temperatures, is such a gift. And in our part of the world, I am getting more and more beautiful sunny days to enjoy. Spring is a beautiful time of year. I’m watching tulips begin to bloom, and watching bumblebees and honeybees at work. Friends are beginning to share the bounty of their gardens with us. I’m taking more joy (and less layers!) on my walks.
While I know there are plenty of people in the world, like my husband, who struggle to deal with the heat that the sun can bring, we know the sun isn’t just a beautiful gift for us. It’s also essential to life. Without the sun, plants and nature can’t do its job, and our food supply would be at stake. We’re all so interconnected, and the sun is an essential piece of the puzzle in our lives.
You may also be feeling stressed. You may feel pressured by some saboteurs in your minds. Perhaps you’ve got some thoughts popping in on the regular, telling you that you can rest AFTER you achieve your next goal, or hit your next financial milestone, or finish doing ______.
I want to challenge you to ignore those voices. Be here NOW. Enjoy the sun as it comes through your window or touches your face. Smell the flowers. Savor the feeling of a breeze on your face, or the wind in your hair. If you are a gardener, enjoy the cool soil between your fingers, or the delicate seeds and plants you cultivate, or the glistening water as you water a flower.
We have no idea what’s coming tomorrow. If habeas corpus is eliminated in the United States, none of our rights to due process are safe. That could mean we’re also rounded up and imprisoned in the days or weeks or years to come. We can try to fight it, but it’s something much, much bigger than just us. The fight may or may not be successful.
So what can you do, in the face of uncertainty? In the face of possible peril?
Be here now. Enjoy the sun. Savor that slice of cake or a moment or play or joy with loved ones. And remember that rest is also resistance. Life is a marathon, and not a sprint. Keep tuning in to where you are, and appreciate all of the nuisances, details, and even fun that it offers.
Take good care. Enjoy the sun.
Want to learn more about the saboteurs getting in the way of a more efficient, effective, and happy life? Let’s talk.
Looking for a speaker for an online or in-person event? I’d love to hear from you, or have you recommend me to a friend.
The world is so much right now. That in itself would be more than enough to deal with, don’t you think? But we’ve also got voices in our own heads. And those voices, though they originated from a helpful place, get in the way and stop us from tapping into the wisest parts of ourselves.
So today, using the language of Positive Intelligence, I’ll explore ten types of saboteurs that might be getting in the way of your life – and while there are MANY ways that we can counteract these habits and voices, I’ll suggest one.
Photo credit: Adorable donkey in a green field by Peter Jochim
Want a fuller understanding of how saboteurs are getting in the way of YOUR brain and YOUR life? Let’s set a time.
The Judge
The Judge is the universal saboteur. We’ve all got some level of judgment happening in our brain, whether it’s judging ourselves, judging other people, or judging the circumstances we are in.
Some of us have a perpetual inner critic that will never truly quiet down. For others, it comes and goes.
Dealing with anxiety, distress, or suffering? Feel guilt or shame? Do you struggle in relationships with other people? Chances are the judge is at the root of that.
The Judge will tell you it motivates you and you need it or you’ll get lazy and complacent. That’s a lie!
The Avoider
Do you find yourself focusing on the positive and avoiding potential conflict at all cost? The avoider wants to avoid difficult things, so the avoider will try to tell you everything’s great.
The lie of the avoider is that it says things will go away if you ignore them. Instead, they often will get bigger and blow up in your face.
The avoider suppresses any anger or resentment – another recipe for problems down the line.
When we deny conflicts or negative circumstances in front of us, the avoider is preventing us from actually doing something about them and making the situation better.
The Controller
The controller wants to deal with anxiety by controlling people and situations around them.
The controller is often a micromanager – incapable of seeing the bigger picture, which might tell us that it’s better to empower people or teach them to handle a situation themselves than always try to do it our way.
The controller gets temporary results, but at a major cost in our relationships and long-term ease, efficiency, and happiness.
The Hyper-Achiever
This common saboteur (especially seen in the corporate world) tells us we can relax, be happy, and stop working when we hit the next milestone. The hyper-achiever won’t let you celebrate for long, or relax, or enjoy the moment you’re in. It’s all about the achievements.
Your self-confidence and self-worth are, according to the hyper-achiever, defined by your achievements. But your wiser self knows you have inherent value, with or without achievements.
The hyper-achiever may avoid trying things unless they know they’ll be successful.
The Hyper-Rational
This saboteur focuses on the rational mind, to the exclusion of emotions, soft skills, and nuisance.
Those with a strong hyper-rational saboteur can be seen as cold, unthinking, and arrogant.
A refusal to acknowledge the role of people’s feelings and emotions can have a severe impact in relationships, whether at work or in your personal life.
The Hyper-Vigilant
Find yourself getting caught in worst-case-scenario thinking?
Are you anxious about the future and what could happen? Struggling to let go of your fears and be present?
The hyper-vigilant feels continuous and intense anxiety. This is exhausting and exhausts those around you too.
The Pleaser
The pleaser has learned to put the needs and desires of others first as a way of ensuring their own safety and survival. The pleaser believes this is how they will be loved.
The pleaser doesn’t express their own needs directly – everything is indirect. Meanwhile, they flatter and do for others. In an especially unhealthy place, this can come across as manipulation.
The pleaser can forget their own needs completely (emotional, physical, financial) which can lead to burnout and resentment. Others can also become dependent on them.
Restless
The restless saboteur is impatient. If they don’t see quick wins in a project or situation, rather than wait to see if it pans out later, they’re likely to try something out. This can lead to “shiny object” syndrome and keep them from pursuing and completing more complex projects.
The restless saboteur is always in search of excitement, experiencing FOMO, and easily distracted.
Underneath the surface, they’re escaping from the present to avoid dealing with hard things.
Stickler
The stickler is a perfectionist, and the stickler may struggle to accept the idea that “done is better than perfect”.
The stickler often holds themselves to higher standards than they do other people, though they may also hold others to those high standards.
They tend to have an inner compass telling them how to do things correctly – the problem is that we can’t do everything perfectly. It’s really only a small portion of things that NEED to be perfect.
They try to quiet the judgment of themselves and others through perfecting things.
Victim
The victim uses emotion to get attention and affection for themselves.
They tend to be dramatic and become depressed and fatigued due to what’s really repressed rage.
In their search for attention, it can backfire and actually push people away.
They may not feel seen or understood by others.
At the root of it all of our saboteurs, no matter what childhood experiences helped shape them and develop them, is fear. And while there are lots of saboteur-specific strategies that we can employ, the best way to face it all is to begin practicing non-judgmental self-awareness.
If we judge ourselves for when our saboteurs get a hold of us and we fall short of our highest goals, we are reinforcing the habits of our saboteurs – the habits we likely want to lean less heavily on, for our own health and happiness and to be more effective in our work.
Instead, try practicing non-judgmental self-awareness. If you notice your Victim or your Hyper-Achiever or your Judge, you can try laughing about it, or saying “hello there!” to your saboteurs. You can journal about it or just make a mental note. This practice is the first step to beginning to change our behavior.
Want some more guidance and more tools for conquering your own habits and saboteurs? I’d love to help.
In stressful situations, we tend to default to old habits and/or move into survival mode to keep ourselves safe. All of this is completely understandable.
Because we’ve all had different experiences, have different brains, differences, personalities and more, what one person does under stress can look quite different from someone else. It’s part of what makes us unique. But what isn’t unique is that we are all hardwired to do certain patterns of behavior under these circumstances.
In thinking about the state of the world right now, I’m especially aware of how dangerous traveling is for so many people right now. Perhaps you don’t feel safe traveling internationally (or at least, you don’t feel safe crossing the border to get back in). Perhaps you don’t feel safe going to the grocery store or even leaving your home.
The situations may be different, and the reasons may be different, but in any of these circumstances, the goal is for us to be able to stay calm under pressure. We want to know that we will be calm and in control of our actions, even if we are being interrogated or profiled or otherwise threatened.
So I want to talk a bit about what happens to us under pressure, and how we can strengthen our practices and our minds to help keep us safe (or at least increase the likelihood of a positive interaction) in future encounters.
Photo of blue sky and branches by Optical Chemist
I’m going to do so with compassion for others in challenging circumstances, to the best of my ability. I’m going to do so using the lens of the Enneagram and mental fitness. As usual, please keep in mind that I’m not a scientist or a therapist, and what I’m sharing are my own opinions based on my own experiences. If you want the technical scientific jargon, I probably won’t be going there, and I’m also not a lawyer or a therapist, so consult your own if possible and do your own homework and come to your own conclusions.
My personal belief is that we all have some sort of wise, wonderful being inside of us. Maybe you’d call it your soul, or your sage or your wise mind. This special being is there from the time we are born. As soon as we’re born, basically, we start having experiences in the real world. From the noises and feelings when we first leave the womb, to the ways our family of origin treats us, to the kind and the harsh and the horrible humans who cross our paths along the way, we are challenged.
As a result of these experiences, we start developing a personality. We pick up traits along the way. We find that we get positive reactions or are safer more frequently when we do certain things, so we lean into those more. In the language of Positive Intelligence, the mental fitness program I use in my training and coaching, we find that some of our skills and characteristics serve us well, so we do them more and more, eventually resulting in some “saboteur” behaviors. We might discover people-pleasing tendencies, or a hyper-achiever who tells us we must keep “doing” or we don’t have value. Maybe we develop restless or avoider or controlling saboteurs as ways of coping with the world.
In the language of the Enneagram, by the time we are adults, we’ve settled into a grab bag of personality traits that sometimes help us and sometimes hurt us, because we overly rely on them. They trap us. If we study the Enneagram, we’ll learn that there are other people in the world very similar to us, whose personality types are also aligned with ours, though our own individual circumstances and that underlying soul within us means we’re still all different people.
Whether we’re using the language of mental fitness or of the Enneagram, if we are privileged enough to begin working on ourselves, it begins with non-judgmental self-observation and a recognition that we’ve been holding so tightly to these personality traits and behaviors that they are no longer serving us. We recognize that if we want to become more of that beautiful soul, more of that lovely sage being, so wise and as we were created, we’ll need to let go of the grip that our personality holds on us.
And if we’re able to see this, whether it’s because we did a saboteur assessment or read a book or experienced a life-altering circumstance or something else entirely, then we’ll find ourselves asking the question: what’s next? How do I step out of these habitual patterns that I’ve been in for so long, that have me trapped in my own patterns of personality?
The answer, in a word? Presence.
When we are able to let go of the sabotaging thoughts and judgment of our own mind, and instead practice being in the present moment, it’s the first step toward our own self-actualization.
It sounds lofty, but if we are able to practice, day in and day out, being fully present where we are, whether that’s by getting outside in nature or fully savoring a meal or feeling the water on our hands, we are, step by step, loosening the grip of our personality and making it easier for the wisdom of our wise mind to make it to the surface.
You may be wondering what the heck this has to do with staying calm when we’re traveling. That’s fair!
But it has everything to do with it. If we practice grounding ourselves, using any tools of mindfulness, while letting go of judgment, we are increasing the likelihood that when we encounter a stressful situation, we will be able to hear the wisdom of our wise mind. We’ll increase the likelihood that we will know how to best take care of ourselves in that situation. We become calmer, and wiser, and less anxious. Our wise mind will recognize whether we need to go hide, or explore a solution, or fight back, or simply have the words to answer a question calmly and in the wisest way possible.
We don’t usually learn to do this work. We are rarely, if ever, taught these skills in school. We are not taught that our mental muscles need to be strengthened and exercised just as much as our physical muscles do.
If you’re curious about this, I’m pleased to offer a Saboteur Assessment, without cost, to anyone interested in learning more about how they’ve been getting in their own way. Whether or not you choose to work with me in the future, I’d love to help you gain the understanding to move forward in the world without being held back by your own patterns of personality.
I can’t control what happens to you when you travel. But I’d love to empower you with the tools to control as much as you CAN control in your life.
Crafting The Life You Want: A Practice in Living 