Month: December 2025

Your fellow Americans and humans need you 

| jamiefeinberg

Hi friends. As usual, I could share so much today, from reminders to rest and breathe and enjoy moments of stillness to applauding you for all you ARE doing, for yourself and for others, in spite of so many opportunities for fear and anxiety and anger. 

But today, for my fellow Americans, I am asking you to make some noise. It should terrify all of us that Marjorie Taylor Greene’s bill criminalizing gender-affirming care for minors (the vast majority of which is actually done on cisgender people, and the vast vast majority of which is NOT surgery, just temporary stuff that delays puberty) has passed the house. 

Photo of a protest and a sign reading “TRANS RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS” by Oriel Frankie Ashcroft

We’ve already done so much to take away trans people’s passports that many trans people are now trapped in the United States. We’re literally seeing a replay of the 1930’s playing out again, in so many ways. We can’t say trans in the military and we stripped so many incredible members of the armed forces from their jobs and pensions. I could go on and on and on and on. 

But today? Please, please please, reach out to your reps and tell them that this is a horrendous bill. It would make doctors and parents be criminals just for providing this care, truly life-saving care. Applaud your house members who voted No (yes, there were three Republicans, and some sat out) and express your anger and frustration with those who voted yes (including Democrats Cuellar, Davis, and Gonzalez, and some sat out). Let your senators know that taking away the rights of trans people are NOT why you elected them. Speak up while we can. Before they come for every other minority group, even more than they have already. Immigrants and trans people are just the beginning. 

I know there are so many causes deserving your attention. Please do your part to keep our trans friends and neighbors and family members alive and able to focus on all the other life stuff. And do NOT prosecute people for supporting them in living their lives. 

I anticipate I may take a couple of weeks off from writing for the holidays. While I don’t have major holiday plans, I will be taking time to rest, regroup, and enjoy some time with loved ones. I hope you’re able to do the same, and regardless of your circumstances, that you’re able to find joy and light during this season. 

Keep resisting. 

For mental fitness tips, coaching, or to learn more about how you can work with me and live a life with more joy and free of habits that keep you stuck, come grab your free session with me.

P.S. As I was about to send this, I saw that a second anti-trans bill, this one a Medicaid ban for trans youth, has passed the house. Speak up against this too, please.

Breaking the cycle & taking one step 

| jamiefeinberg

How are you feeling today, friend? If you pause right now and take a few deep breaths with me, I invite you to ask yourself that question. What stands out to you? Are you physically comfortable? Are you present to your body? Are your thoughts racing? Do you feel energized, or depleted, or somewhere in between? 

Photo of a winter scene of a yard and house in the city, with snow, a fence, and sun peeking through trees

As we head into Hanukkah Sunday, are in the midst of Advent, and head toward Solstice and Christmas at a speedy pace, you may be caught up in activities and obligations. 

As we see daily headlines out of a terrifying movie or horrendous chapter of history, there are lots of distractions demanding our attention. 

Whether you’re finding yourself relentlessly busy or attempting to hide from it all, I hear you, and I see you. Today, I wanted to share one technique that can help me when I find myself caught in familiar patterns. For an audio version of this, head to my Substack.

We all have habitual patterns of our personality. These are patterns that we found served as well as children, keeping us safe and comfortable or at least giving us some sense of security and consistency. As we age, these well-honed patterns can become a trap. While they are well-honed, it is possible to break out of the cycle, the pattern, and make a different choice. But it requires a level of awareness of what’s going on and a willingness (and ability) to make a different choice. 

For instance, one of my patterns is that when I start to feel like I am overwhelmed or angry, my default setting is to cope with the scenario by doing. Specifically, I go to the most accessible task – I find that cleaning, especially washing dishes, is a go to, but I may also simply choose the easiest task on my to-do list or even go to scroll a video on my phone. 

The wiser part of my brain isn’t running the show here. Instead, I’m simply stuck in a pattern. 

So what can I do about it? 

The first step is to literally stop. Stop doing. Sometimes this means I literally stop whatever I’m doing and go sit down for an extra reminder that I do truly need to stop. Once I’ve stopped, I take a few deep breaths. You can even do a quick body scan to see where you’re holding onto tension or pain. I notice the physical sensations of where I am and what I’m doing. Notice if I was holding my breath. Notice my posture. Observe where I am in space right now. My body on the floor or whatever surface it is on. Let my extra thoughts go. 

Next, I observe what’s been going on. Am I in a calm or chaotic environment right now? How am I relating to others, and how are they responding to me? Am I myself feeling calm and regulated, or am I defaulting into the patterns of my personality? 

When I am physically present to what’s going on, if it feels accessible, I also have the option to ask my WISE mind why I started doing that task. Was I acting from fear? From anxiety? It can be useful to observe what just happened. But sometimes, asking WHY feels scary. Maybe it’s a very sensitive topic right now. If that’s true for you, just focus on the physical sensations. 

When I do feel I am in my “wise mind” and calmer, present and awake, I can ask myself some questions. You might ask what is yours to do in this situation, in the words of Suzanne Stabile. In the words of Byron Katie, you might ask “what am I believing right now? How does it make me feel? Is it true? Is it really true? Who would I be if I let go of that belief?”. 

And finally, having paused, observed and and done some self-reflection, you’re free to make new choices. Allow and encourage yourself to forgive yourself and try something new. 

Is your wise mind reminding you of a task that’s truly most important now? Do you finally have the clear head to make a call you’ve put off? To take ten minutes and start a dreaded task? Use this calm state to move forward with one thing today. 

There are versions of this process in both my Enneagram work and in my mental fitness work. You may have encountered a similar process elsewhere that works for you. Please let me know how you do this work in your own life. And if you haven’t yet, let me know if you’re going to try it! 

Want some support breaking out of your habitual patterns to feel more joy, create a life you love, and be more YOU? Come grab your free session with me.

permission to pause

| jamiefeinberg

Whether you’re navigating health challenges or life challenges that are more intense or are just in the midst of the more typical year-end, holiday pressures and commitments that usually seem to define this time of year: today I am giving you permission to pause. 

Photo of snowy trees by by Adam Lukac

Want to take a nap, but feeling guilty about everything remaining on your to-do list? This is your permission slip. 

Got an invite to another holiday party, but feeling like you’d rather stay home in your PJs? Skip it. Let them know you’ve got another commitment. (You don’t have to tell them it’s a commitment to your own self-care if you don’t want to.) 

Feeling pressured to make a decision? Let them know you’ll need another day or another week (or whatever time feels right) before you’ll be able to get back to them about it. 

Pause. 

There is so much worthy of our attention, but we are human beings and we have limits, friends. As much as we may try to push them regularly. As much as we may be known as the “busy” person in our circle of friends. 

Your friends and family love you, even if you have to skip a commitment because you’re getting a cold or you need another night to sleep or rest ahead of an important event. 

Permission to pause. Take your permission slip, and use it whenever you need it. It doesn’t expire. 

Does this resonate with you? If so, let a friend who could use the reminder know about it. 
Want some support navigating boundaries and helping you to bring your dreams to life?  Come grab your free session with me.