Crafting The Life You Want: A Practice in Living

Anxious for the future? Quiet and control those hyper-vigilant thoughts

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Let good enough be good enough

July 18, 2025 | jamiefeinberg

In brainstorming what to explore here, some weeks it just comes to me. Other weeks aren’t as obvious. Today, I asked myself what I needed to hear right now, and that’s how the title came to me: let good enough be good enough.

Photo of assorted flowers and trees in a neighborhood park by Jamie Feinberg

According to the Enneagram, a tool for personal growth I’ve been studying for more than five years now, some people (known as Type 1s) heard a very particular message when they were children – “it isn’t okay to make mistakes”. In spite of the best intentions, so often, in our families of origin, we manage to internalize the idea that there’s a problem if we make mistakes. So as a protective mechanism, some of us become perfectionistic. And yet when we do so, this overfocus on perfecting ourselves, perfecting those around us, or being a great role model for others means that we lose ourselves along the way, becoming less confident and unbalanced as a result, and more obsessed with control, repression, and worry.

But we don’t need to be a “type 1” for us to pick up the message that it isn’t safe for us to make mistakes. Maybe it’s because of the color of our skin that we’ve internalized that message, or maybe we have a neurodivergent brain that isn’t understood by those around us. Maybe a domineering parent or an unsafe environment at school or at home contribute to it.

One of the things, therefore, that I benefit a lot from, and that you may too, is remembering that most of the time, it’s best to let good enough be good enough.

In my mental fitness work, we say only 20% of tasks, at most, need us to do them perfectly (or close to it). For the remaining 80% of tasks, the healthy and reasonable thing is to let good enough be good enough.

Especially when I’m feeling stressed or navigating a lot of extra potential stressors already, I know I need to remember and heed this message.

Here are a few ways I’ve “let good enough be good enough”. I hope these inspire you and you’ll try it on for size:

Have time for a fancier meal? On the fence about whether it’s worth it to put in the extra effort? Keep it simple. Your body and mind will thank you later.
Not sure your wording of that email is perfection? Is the email being sent to someone who already knows your work? Can you afford to have an imperfect word or two in this email? Let it go, and send it.
Struggling to choose the right outfit for a night out? Consider the “needs” involved, and then just choose something. It doesn’t need to be the best outfit you’ve ever worn. Let good enough be good enough.
Prioritize cleaning the most highly-trafficked areas and the most visible ones in your living space. No one but my husband and I have to put up with a messy bedroom, so it isn’t usually a priority.
Showing up to a meeting less prepared than usual is still (usually) better than not showing up. If it’s still a value add, I show up – and I include a brief apology if it feels called for.
Didn’t accomplish all my goals today? Didn’t get outside as much as I intended? Didn’t get to finish that project? No point in beating myself up about it. Let it go – I did good enough (or well enough) today.

Does this resonate with you too? Is “let good enough be good enough” helpful for you? And if not, what do you think is the message you’d benefit from hearing or repeating right now? And if you know your Enneagram number, has that helped you to get clear about this?

P.S. If you don’t know your number but would like to learn it in the company of others on their own personal journeys of growth, learn more about working with me here. And if you know your number but are still seeking community, I lead both an Enneagram Book Club and mental fitness groups.

Recent articles from me you might enjoy:

Anxious for the future? Quiet and control those hyper-vigilant thoughts

Tell me when I can pre-order your book!

The best of times, the worst of times

July 11, 2025July 10, 2025 | jamiefeinberg

Anyone else finding the juxtaposition of life confusing right now? It’s such a gorgeous time of year where I live, getting to have so many sunny days, enjoying warmth and blue skies, flowering gardens, and some really delicious fresh and local foods, from lobster to strawberries and from garlic scapes to new potatoes.

And yet, I’m also making phone calls to my representatives to tell them they need to do everything in their power to stand up against concentration camps being built in our backyards.

What to do, in the face of it all? How do you keep moving forward in your own life when you know what’s happening in your backyard?

Photo description: Magenta-colored flowers catch the light, with their green leaves behind them (Photo by Jamie Feinberg)

You know what you need best, my friend. But here are some ideas, if things are hazy and it feels like the walls are closing in:

Return to the self-care practices that have gotten you through tough times in the past. Feel regulated when you take a shower? When you go for a run? When you call a friend? Prioritize that.
Practice presence, several times a day, but definitely when you begin your day. Pay close attention to your five senses. Feel yourself in your body. Focus on your breath. Release tension. Release negative thoughts.
Cultivate movement in your life, at whatever level is feasible for you. The more movement, typically, the better you will feel. I know for myself, the more intense it is, the bigger a difference it makes, but just walking or even getting outside can make a difference.
Find the sky. Remember when you see the clouds or tops of buildings or find the sun or blue that there is something bigger than you in this world – whether it’s a divine presence or simply a giant planet and universe that will long outlive you, tune in to the gifts of that, and remember you’re one person, doing your small part, to make a difference today.
Give back. Call your representatives. Protest. Create art. Talk to people. Stand up for small injustices and micro-aggressions. Do not normalize atrocities. Talk about people as if they are human – because they are.
Feel gratitude for something. Or several somethings.
Take breaks from social media. Take breaks from noise. Just be.
Find community. Join a group or start one. (Join one of mine!) Get connected and remember that sharing our gifts and our presence is a meaningful way to be the best we can be in the world.

Remember you’re not alone. Thank you for being you, and for doing what you have the capacity for today, in your own world and your own community.

And I’d love to hear how you’re doing right now. How are you handling this? How do you want to handle this?

Recent articles from me you might enjoy:

Anxious for the future? Quiet and control those hyper-vigilant thoughts

Tell me when I can pre-order your book!

Don’t feel like celebrating this week? Give back instead

July 4, 2025 | jamiefeinberg

This week in Canada, we celebrated Canada Day, and while many are feeling very patriotic and proud of their country right now (or at least grateful to be in it, warts and all), I’ve recognized since we moved to Canada that for many, especially indigenous people, to celebrate Canada Day can feel disingenuous at best, and perhaps even entirely inappropriate, as the patriotic celebrations can feel like a whitewashing of history. I know that here in PEI, indigenous individuals and communities are playing a significant role in the celebrations, and I love seeing that, but I know it’s a bit of an imperfect solution, at best.

I was thinking about how in all the Independence Day celebrations I experienced in the United States, I couldn’t even have imagined a true indigenous component to them. And it didn’t occur to me, in full transparency. This is one area where I think Canada is ahead of the United States, and I hope that in the future, Americans can think more about following in their footsteps.

Similarly, there are plenty of other groups, whether it’s Black communities, the queer community, the disabled community etc., who may feel like they’re not ready to be patriotic. And right now, with fascism a growing reality and millions displaced without due process (or seemingly rhyme or reason), and unfortunately the promise of much more to come, I think anyone with a heartbeat and a conscience might be finding themselves wondering whether it’s appropriate to be celebrating.

But today, I’m not going to answer that for you. Instead, I’ll encourage you to get quiet inside and decide for yourself whether patriotic displays, now or in the future, are worthy of your support.

Also, I wanted to remind you that when you’re struggling to feel grateful, or to feel grounded, finding a way to give back can be an extraordinary way to do so. It can often be one of the easiest ways to find fulfillment and even joy.

Photo of someone feeding a white chicken by Alex P

I’ve been giving back in many ways. I give back as a mental fitness instructor and coach, allotting a portion of my work each month to supporting people who otherwise wouldn’t have access. I donate money to nonprofits doing good work, and I draw attention to the good work of people and organizations so that others might feel inspired to do the same.

This past Sunday, I led a showtunes singalong, and it allowed me to give back in two ways. First off, we set aside a percentage of ticket sales to go to Peers Alliance, a local nonprofit important to the queer community, and to the Transgender Law Center, doing important work in the United States. While that itself felt like a meaningful gesture, even on a small scale, I also felt the joy of giving back by sharing my performing gifts with others. There’s something about singing together that really is healing, and I could feel the joy and power in a room of present, connected humans, many previously strangers, coming together in song.

Where do you give back? Where do you volunteer? Who do you care for, teach, or show your love to? Do you fight for causes you believe in or run for office?

Let love be your guide. Choose love. Choose to channel your energy to what matters most to you. Find energy in supporting those who need more than you, or at least whose needs align with what you have to offer.

And please remember: You’re here. I’m proud of you. We are glad you’re here. Keep breathing. Keep taking care.

And please let me know: where do you give back? Or where would you like to?

P.S. One way I give back is through my Enneagram work. My group Enneagram programs are offered on a sliding scale, and I do them out of love. Learn more here, we’d love to have you join us to do this important work on yourself that is best done in community with others.

Recent articles from me you might enjoy:

Anxious for the future? Quiet and control those hyper-vigilant thoughts