Month: October 2023

SIX SELF-CARE TIPS FOR AN UNCERTAIN WORLD

One yellow flower in foreground, green and other flowers behind it and all in front of a fence.
| jamiefeinberg

What can I write right now? Let me begin with some context.

On January 6th, 2021, as a citizen of the United States, I was completely at a loss as the news showed signs of democracy crumbling with the attack on the capitol. We were living in our 25’ RV outside of Albuquerque. We stayed home as talk of potential violence in other cities was being bandied about. We were grateful for a safe place to be and enough food in the fridge. We felt shock, but we also felt this was somehow predictable, in a way, given the way things had been going in the U.S. up until this point.

Previous to that day, the only experience I’d had like this would have been 9/11, when I was still a senior in high school, though news of the pandemic and George Floyd’s murder and a variety of other events also spring to mind as well. (This obviously reflects my privilege – if I had lived in other cities, had a different skin color etc., I may not have been so insulated from news like this.)

Facing the horrifying news of January 6 led me to write a blog post. In it, I wrote the following:

“I’m honestly at a loss about where to start this post. All of the mindfulness practice in the world can’t change the fact that we’re in the midst of a global pandemic, an American crisis of democracy, and that we’re dealing with the effects of systemic racism, made more plain every day.

On a personal level, I’m finding that calming my mind for yoga or meditation is extremely difficult, walking, while therapeutic, doesn’t solve anything once the walk itself has ended, and talking to friends or family may fan the flames rather than put out the fire.

I’m torn between the desire to veg out on the couch with a movie and the desire to throw all of my energy into work.

If I’m feeling this way, I know you might be too.”

So what did I do with those feelings? I channeled them into self-care tips. I posted some of my top tips for self-care in an uncertain world.

It resonated with many of you. Since then, I’ve learned a lot more tools for handling anxiety, fear, overwhelm, anger, and stress. You may be feeling some of these emotions in light of what’s happening in Israel and Palestine. You may be focused more on Ukraine or on the ways bodily autonomy is being taken away or any of the many, many other problems you are seeing locally and around the world.

Wherever you’re at, please know that you aren’t alone. Here are six ways to practice self-care in times like these.

1 BE PRESENT
Feel your feet on the floor. Take very slow breaths, and focus on your breath going in, holding for a moment, and going back out. If you can’t get any alone time for this, do it on the toilet. Seriously. (I used to do that when I worked a corporate job in a cubicle! Sometimes I’ve heard it can work for a parent or babysitter too.) Wiggle your fingers or your toes. Identify something you feel with each of your senses. Find something of every color in your line of vision. Any grounding technique will get you there. Be here now. Let the thoughts that come to your mind go, and return to concentrating on your breath.

2 SAVOR A HOT BEVERAGE
If you can carve out 5-10 minutes to do this, it’s an easy way to give yourself alone time that is just for you. Each morning, part of my routine includes a cup of tea. You may go with an evening cup, or a cup of coffee, or some hot chocolate. Take the time to feel the warmth of the mug, to smell and taste the beverage. The ritual and experience of this is so satisfying, relatively easy and affordable, easy to include if you have any dietary restrictions, and a moment to indulge yourself.

3 TAKE A WALK
My daily walks have been giving me life for years. They are especially essential to my mental health when the world is, pardon my language, a shitshow. If my body allows, I do everything I can to make my walk happen. I highly recommend taking your walk outside if at all possible for you. Freezing temperatures? Bundle up, and keep it short if you don’t warm up within 10-15 minutes. (Personally, by that time I’m usually feeling a lot warmer.) Go at your own pace. If walking isn’t feasible for you, step outside and feel a breeze. Grab a chair, even if you have to bundle up. And if safety or timing or health etc. keep you from getting outside, my next best recommendation is to make time to look outside, provided that’s safe where you are. Science shows us that looking at nature is calming, Getting outside is calming. (And if you struggle with motivation, walk with a friend or call a friend and do so remotely.)

4 ENJOY A RELAXING BOOK/GAME/SHOW/PODCAST
Back in 2020 I realized that a book of fiction can still be stressful when you’re feeling anxious or on edge – but there are so many options for media, and I’d really encourage you to choose content that makes you feel good or that comforts you right now, at least sometimes, as part of your designated self-care.

Whether it’s listening to a favorite comedian, reading a romance novel, solving a mystery box or returning to a sacred text, or even watching a favorite show, I encourage you to practice self-care that includes some pick-me-ups and distractions. When the world is overwhelming, we can use a break from the news cycle, and if you stick to media that will truly relax and refresh you and consume it mindfully, it can be essential self-care.

5 JOURNAL
I journal each morning, as soon as I get up, as a way of getting the cobwebs out, as outlined in The Artist’s Way. Whatever thoughts and fears are rolling around in my head get recognized immediately, at which point I can let them go, allowing me to go about my day with clarity. I highly recommend it – it’s been my practice for four years now.

6 TAKE A BATH OR SHOWER
One of my favorite forms of self-care is to take a bath. I’ve always found it so relaxing. Focusing on the warm water of a bath or a shower is also a beautiful mindfulness technique.

I don’t currently have a bathtub in my apartment, so I treasure my showers. (And when I occasionally stay at a hotel with a bathtub, it feels like such an indulgence!) If you have the luxury of a bath or shower available to you, it’s a beautiful way to practice self-care.

If you found these tips helpful, you might also want to grab your copy of my free resource, The Four Steps To Your Dream Life Blueprint. And if you’d like me to teach you some of my favorite mindfulness techniques or help you identify the roadblocks keeping you from living a life you love, please choose a time to connect with me.

And I’d love to hear your feedback: What did I miss? Which of these do you find most helpful?

You might also appreciate this article on using frustration as fuel for the future or my spring keynote on crafting your life adventure.

USING HABITS TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE

| jamiefeinberg

Habits. What are your habits? Do you have a good habit or two that you worked for? Do you have some habits that kind of fell into?

People who know me well tell me that my ability to create healthy habits is actually one of my superpowers! I’ve been thinking about the role of habits in my life. Without habits, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

Back at the start of 2016, after extraordinary frustrations with my health, I decided it was time to take things into my own hands. If doctors couldn’t figure out what was going on with my body, and if I was still exhausted and uncomfortable, it was time to make a change.

I knew that the one area where I was, without a doubt, not maintaining a particularly healthy lifestyle, was my exercise routine. I loved to dance, and I loved to walk, and I even loved yoga, but between financial limitations, a busy schedule, and, I can say with hindsight, some avoidance and resistance to making a commitment, I never seemed to stick to an exercise routine with any regularity.

I knew that for me to become someone who exercised regularly, for the long haul, I would need to make exercising super simple. (After all, nothing else, to date, had worked for more than a few months – even when I’d had a free gym membership provided by my job!)

So in mid-January, I woke up a half hour earlier than usual, and I did yoga poses and stretches for five minutes. I’d told myself that as long as I did something that qualified as exercising or stretching, I would count it.

The next day, I did the same, again for five minutes.

The pattern held. Perhaps five days into the practice, on a weekend, I decided I could afford a longer workout. After all, I was here anyway, and I didn’t have to run out the door.

But I didn’t change the rule for myself. I kept that five minute minimum in place.

With this simple habit in place, I started experimenting. What did it feel like to exercise for seven minutes, or ten minutes? Over time, since I was already showing up and dressed to exercises, I’d exercise for 15 minutes. Soon, a half hour was more of the norm.

I liked this routine. I felt better about myself, knowing I was doing this one thing to prioritize my health. And it set a nice tone for the day.

Eventually, I raised the bar to 15 minutes as my new minimum. And I began waking up even earlier, so that most days, I’d exercise for at least a half hour. I started an exercise program trial (a streaming service) and began experimenting with different workout programs, hoping to find one I liked enough to invest in. After experimenting for a few months, I purchased a favorite one, with strength training, and I purchased better equipment to travel with as I hit the road in an RV. Next, I started a daily walking habit. It stuck. I’ve been doing it ever since, minus a day here or there if I’m sick.

In early December 2020, after realizing I didn’t average 5,000 steps anymore (thanks, pandemic!), I decided I wanted to average at least 5,000 steps daily over the course of a week. With that knowledge and a bit of accountability in our Facebook group, I was there, and then, quite soon, averaging 7,500.

By mid-March of 2021, I was averaging more than 10,000 steps a day! I never would have thought it was possible, but the power of habits made it come to life. I made it easy, by building it on my existing walking habit, and I used a tracker and the accountability of my social media feed and my Facebook group.

Have you ever done this before? Have you successfully established a new habit? It’s something I’ve repeated many times since, and if I ever find myself getting off track, I am able to get myself back in gear.

I created a habit of batch cooking to help me successfully adapt the auto-immune protocol diet and lifestyle back in 2016, even though I was living in an RV (with a tiny kitchen). I used habits to build a morning routine that lit me up in 2018, and over time, I used habit stacking to make it more and more fun and aligned for me. I’ve used habits to develop an evening routine too. (For the record, there’s no shame in putting a chart on a wall if it helps you to meet your goals! Tired Jamie needed visual aids.) And of course, my habit of making healthy eating choices the majority of the time continues to serve me well – established when I was a kid but improved upon many, many times over my life. (And yes, there’s a place for ice cream in a healthy diet, if you tolerate it!)

I talk about habits with my clients too. One of the reasons I do mental fitness work with most of my clients is that if you don’t have a great awareness of and handle on your own triggers and know how to calm the negative thoughts that we all deal with from time to time (and some of daily), it is MUCH harder to implement healthy and productive habits.

For some of my clients, they don’t struggle with habits when they’re required by an outside authority, like a boss or the government, but they do struggle with meeting their own needs. Whatever your challenges are, whether you do well with internal or external expectations (or both), mental fitness helps a LOT!

Are you aware of the habits you have? Which ones serve you, and which habits would you like to get rid of? Are you working on any new habits this year?

Leave a comment and let me know – I’d love to hear any tips and support you in any struggles you’re having.

And if you’d like more support in creating sustainable habits that work for you, let’s hop on a call and discuss the options so you can get clear on your next steps.

Thanks for reading, and have a great week!

P.S. Have you checked out my Four Steps To Your Dream Life blueprint? It’s a great resource and concrete to help you gain clarity and create a life that you love.

P.P.S. Find yourself feeling fearful as you make these changes? You might benefit from my top tips for facing your fear.

This was inspired by an article I published on March 12, 2021.